


My Angel

by vangull2216



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Dark Past, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Rape, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:53:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 65,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vangull2216/pseuds/vangull2216
Summary: You've been kidnapped and abused almost all of your life, or at least all that you can remember. So when a stranger bursts into your cell room to save you and you suddenly live in suitcase with said man,  how could you possibly imagine to cope?





	1. The Beginning

You sit alone in the dark, musty room, no light being let in from any crack; Boss definitely made sure of that. You honestly didn't know his name and that's just what everyone else calls him, so you began to slowly think of his as simply 'boss.' You had no idea how long you've been here, as his captive. Long enough that you've aged some and for you to not quite remember what life was like outside of this. In the beginning you would try to keep count of how many days by marking the wall, but that became exceedingly difficult when you lost the ability to tell the days apart. Every once in a while Boss or one of his men would drag you out of here and force you to do whatever work they had for you to do. You had magic abilities, which made you very useful to them and they would force you to work a large array of tasks. You vaguely remember trying to use your magic to escape this awful place, if only because you still have scars from the beating that took place when you were caught. After that they made sure to keep special chains on you, the metal itself laced with magic which prevented you from performing any. There were others too, though you don't think they are the same creatures as you. Of course you don't talk to them; you don't talk at all really, and you would probably be beat for trying to do so. But you'd seen them in the passing. The others. While you looked human-ish almost none of them did. 

You regular meal comes suddenly, if you could even call it that. Boss feeds you based off of how you work. If you do good and complete everything without him asking twice then you usually get a full (or as much as he ever gives) serving. If you don't work or don't work as good then you get half servings or less, or, if he's really mad, none at all. But you've slowly adjusted. It was really hard in the beginning, when you literally feel your stomach shrinking as your body tries to cope with the lack of food it's receiving. You know you've became less of what you once were, even if you don't completely remember what you were. Hell, you don't even actually know what you are, much less who. You latch onto the tray, terrified they'll take it back from you. It's a brownish-green glop, at least from what you can tell in the darkness, and it could have god-knows what in it, but you still drink the lumpy substance down, restraining yourself from licking the bowl. You also quickly munch down the stale, bread alike object, although you also don't know what it is or what's in it. You place your tray back near the door, watching as a hand reaches in and grabs it, whisking it away to somewhere else. You slowly back away, pressing into the corner of the room, wrapping your large full-sized wings around you as you would a blanket. Hopefully you can get a few moments of sleep before Boss comes back for you. 

*********

A loud, jarring crash disrupts your sleep. You let out a soft whine, grabbing onto your own feathers and putting them as close as you can, you fingers running over the cut off tips. There is yelling coming from all around, sounds of a large fight happening right outside her cell. You curl into the tightest ball you can, ducking your head down and covering it with one wing. People are yelling, sounds of explosions ringing in every direction. Your eyes are closed shut and you begin to slowly rock yourself back and forth, waiting for the too loud noises to stop. Slowly but surely, after what seems like an eternity, they trickle to a cease. There are movements still, people walking everywhere, and voices coming from all directions. You stay in your ball, hoping against hope that Boss and his people will leave you alone. After another long while footsteps approach your door, stopping at it. There's the sound of someone unlocking the cell and then the door slowly creaked open, bright light engulfing the shadows in a battle of will. You shift your feathers, peeking through them to see a man standing in the doorway. For some reason, which is extremely odd, you don't feel as if he is immediately going to harm you. He simply stands there for a moment, looking powerful, and almost angelic. He looks... different, especially from the normal men to come to your cell. He has playful golden locks, which hang down over his eyes. He is wearing a long coat wrapped around his tall frame, and one arm is to the side, holding what looks like a... stick? You don't understand. But he bends down, walking to you slowly, something else no one has ever done here. He talks in soft tones, hands raised in front of himself in a submissive stance, but it takes you a moment to register his words. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Me and some of my friends are here to help you. We're going to get you out of here, can you hear me?" 

You shift your wings, fluffing them around you, completely unsure of what to do. "Are you hurt? Can you move at all?" You fluff your wings again, covering your face and staring up at him. "Oh," he murmurs softly to himself, eyes growing wide. His lips move more, without sound coming out. Thinking you had done something wrong, you let out another whine, softer this time, and duck your head down, bracing for a whip or belt of some kind. "No!" he suddenly half-shouts, shaking his head. You whimper, holding onto your feathers tightly. "No, no, no. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe, okay? Do you understand me?" You nod, lowering your wings even more. You're not wearing much, only a small, thin cloth wrapped around you and tied on your shoulder. It covers you well enough, but doesn't leave a whole lot to imagination, the fabric tighter around your breasts. It's also extremely short, but clothing had never really been of great importance here. The man glances up, a blush covering his cheeks lightly before looking back down and focusing on your face. "Are you able to stand up?" You crawl forwards a little, leaning heavily on the wall to brace yourself as you stand, wings tucked against your back. He smiles, his eyes lighting up and you take a small, uncertain step forward. The chains wrapped around my ankles, binding them together, clank loudly as you step forward, and the short chain trips you up, causing you to fall forward. You flap your wings in an effort to keep upright. The man darts to you, holding out and arm and catching you from falling. "C'mom here. Let's get rid of those..." he quietly says to himself, moving his stick, which he had held by his side the entire time. He moves it in an elegant movement, muttering a few words. Suddenly a loud pop and a burst of light erupts from the stick, shooting to the chains on my ankles. You cry out, jumping back in surprise. Your wing joints hit the wall with a painful smack and you bite your lip hard, holding back a sob as silent tears roll down your face. 

The man shakes his head, apologizing over and over. He begins to approach you again, and you involuntarily flinch, whimpering as you press harder against the wall. A head pokes in the doorway, a woman looking into the room. You try to calm your breathing as the two talk to each other, probably planning your punishment, you suppose. You duck your head, focusing on the ground. But your eyes fall on an odd sight. The chains that had entrapped your feet now lay off to the side, broken. You tentatively shuffle your feet, moving them a few steps, surprised by the lightness of your step now the chains are not weighing you down. He... the man helped you. This wasn't some kind of trick. He was actually trying to save you from this god-awful place. The two people are caught up in each other, having an intense conversation, or so it seems. You walk lightly to them, reaching up and placing a hand on the man's shoulder, touch as light as your wings. But it still jars him. He swings around, a smile on his face, but startled nonetheless, and you can't help flinching back, wings wrapping protectively around yourself. 

"Ar-are you alright? Did you hurt herself? Are you wings okay?" You tilt your head, slightly confused and frankly shocked this strange man seems to care about her so much. You still nod, flexing her shoulders and shaking out your wings the best this small places allows you to. The woman leans over the man's shoulder, whispering a question to him. He nods and you catch his response, probably because his eyes haven't left you even though he is speaking with her. She's fairly pretty, shorter brown hair and also in a coat. She carries a stick with her as well, held close to her body. "Yes, I'm fairly certain she can understand us. And she should be able to speak as well." You nod in agreement to his statement, and he smiles widely, albeit a little crooked. 

"Right, well, can you come with us please? We'll get you out of here and take you somewhere safe. Newt, can you go help the others?" Newt? Was that his name? It's quite odd, but... it almost fits. He seems odd, at least of what you've seen of him. He nods to you, turning to go. You begin panicking, breaths coming heavier. You shake your head furiously no, not wanting him to leave, especially when it would mean you were alone with this strange woman. You don't trust her. She's given you no reason to. You suddenly feel trapped and scared, almost as if the walls are closing in on you. Realistically you know you're not getting enough oxygen in for your body to function, but you can't seem to make your lungs work. You reach out to the man, to Newt, making a grab for his arm. Your hand hits his forearm, just as he is turning back around, but it fails to latch on. You suddenly fall forward, collapsing to the floor as everything turns black.


	2. A Man Named Newt

Coming awake is a slower process for you, although it may be because Boss would always allow you to rest if he had worked you to the point you passed out. And that was the first thing you remembered; you had passed out. You stay laying as still as possible, hoping Boss wouldn't notice you are awake. You focus in on the voice nearest to you. It's a man's voice and he's talking to someone, but no one is responding to him. Expect for... wait. There are animal noises all around you. Odd noises, similar to those you would hear late at night when you couldn't quite go to sleep and there was nothing else to do expect to sit and stare at the wall. But the voice, he doesn't seem harmful. If anything he sounds caring, loving. Suddenly everything that had happened earlier crashes back. The angelic figure, the man, who had came into the cell you had lived in for however long you were in there. You gasp, sucking in a deep breath as you shot upright into a sitting position and your wings flare out, knocking something off onto the ground in the process. Your eyes fly around the room quickly taking in my surroundings. Your laying on a bed and in your panic you push yourself off, cowering in the corner beside the bed. The man, Newt you remind yourself, jumps up from a desk nearby, startled. Something on the desk itself moves, a creature of some kind backing off of the desk and falling. Newt stops, scooping up the fallen creature and gently placing him back on the desk. You can't breathe again, but you can't pass out again. Newt walks closer to you, slowly moving with his hands open and facing you. "Shhh, shhh. It's okay, you're safe. Just calm down and breathe. Okay?" You nod shakily, trying to force yourself to calm down. You begin to feel light-headed again, small black dots forming and dancing across your vision. In a last ditch effort you recall a movement you used long ago, back when you were first thrown in the awful cell and would often stop breathing. You cover your mouth, holding your nose closed as well. Your chest heaves sporadically, trying to breath in air which you wasn't allowing your lungs to have. Newt's eyes widen, fear etched into every feature of his face. "No, no, no. You have to breathe. Please, please breathe," he begs, kneeling beside you. His arms are outstretched, as if he wants to hold you, but is unsure of going about it. You nod, closing your eyes. You uncover your mouth, struggling in a breath and then quickly covering it again. You repeat this action multiple times, forcing your breathing to calm down until you finally get it under control. Newt hasn't left your side the entire time, sitting on his heels in front of you and counting once he finally realized what you were doing. He also decided to brace his hands on his tights, not sure as to where else he should place them. Once you normalize your breathing as best as you can you all but fall onto Newt, resting your head on his shoulder, still breathing somewhat heavily. He awkwardly makes a move to pat your back, shifting his hands around your wings, but decides against it and loosely wraps his arms around your back just below your wing joints. 

"Ar-are yo-ou okay now?" he stutters. You nod, taking a deep steadying breath. You hold it for a few moments before releasing it, trying to gather yourself up and not cry. You absolutely hated crying; it always made you feel so weak and often worthless. Not to say you weren't, by any accounts you fit the bill of both to a T. You shake your head, clearing it of all the terrible thoughts, the one which would haunt you when you couldn't sleep. The ones which made you feel like you deserved every ounce of pain inflicted upon you. You finally release Newt from the hug, scooting back a ways to give him space. He immediately stood, reaching down and helping you up. You stood assuredly, still not quite used to walking without the chains dragging behind you. You pause, taking the time to look around and take in everything in the room. It's a bedroom, with the normal furniture, although much, much, much more cluttered. Papers and bottles and well as various small items are littered about, taking up almost every inch of every available surface. Newt walks to the bedside, picking up a lamp and a bottle, which you had obviously knocked over when you awoke. You hang your head in shame, going to the other table and picking up a few papers and a book. After this he goes straight back to his desk, turning the chair around and sitting in it. You meekly follow to the edge of the bed, bracing yourself for a lashing as you sit down. When none comes, not even a word uttered between the two of you, you shyly look up through your eyelashes to find Newt simply sitting there and staring at you. You duck your head in hopes to avoid judgments, and he finally clears his throat. "So-o, um... well, I don't, I don't actually know you're name. B-but I'm Newt." You smile, nodding to show you understand. "What's you-ur name?" 

You freeze, frowning as you think. What is your name? You can't remember. You look down at your wrist, at the number and letter combination permanently imprinted on the skin there next to old lash marks. D6F8791YC. That was how they identified you and for short they would call you D6. Unsure of what else to say you hold up your wrist, showing Newt the combination. He slowly reaches out, gently holding your wrist as he inspects it closer. The code was stamped in your arm and you can remember it happening very clearly. Boss had strapped you down on a table, roughly jerking you arm out and pressing the searing metal deep into your arm. Newt's fingers curl almost protectively around your wrist, the other hand reaching out and softly tracing over the code. You duck your head in shame, forcing yourself to not flinch when he touches you, although you can't stop your wings when they shift uncomfortably and one wraps around your midsection. He's intent on the code, focusing completely on it while you keep your head down with your eyes downcast on your lap. After a moment he clears his throat again, looking up at you as you peer at him through your eyelashes. "I-I'm so sorry. Do-do you, uh, remember you're real name?" Still not looking up you shake you head, wing wrapping even tighter around yourself as if to give you a hug. "Well then, you can have a new name." Newt back away from you and stands, flipping through a book. Looking up a little a notice him wiping his face, the back of his hand moist when he braces it on the corner of the table. "Is there any name you fancy?" 

You slowly stand up, wings lowered behind to make you appear smaller and you cautiously take a few steps forwards. You came up beside him, peering around him timidly. He's flipping through a large book lined book, which is filled with pages and pages of entries. You only get a glance as he flies through the pages, stopping well over halfway through the book. He grabs a quill, dipping it in ink and posing it, looking up at you expectantly. You tilt your head to the side, ducking your head down as you shrug my shoulders. "Come on," he says smiling, "You can choose your name. What would you like your name to be?" There's a long pause as he waits for you to answer. You held his gaze for barely a moment before ducking your head back down, wings fluttering behind you nervously. Newt's smile begins to fade and he studies you. "You can... uh, c-can you speak?" Can you speak? You're pretty sure you can, but you really, really don't want to. So instead of lying you simply shrug again, feeling horrible that you're not talking to Newt when he's done so much for you. You take a few steps back, pressing close to the wall to the right of you. Newt's eyes grow wide, "Oh! Oh, I'm so so so sorry. I didn-, um, I mean, I'm sorry." And he, he looked so sad and worried, all for you. You bite your lip hard, hard enough to break the skin. You open your mouth, trying to form a word, and you had a word in mind that you desperately wanted to say. You try to force it out, to no avail. Newt turns, grabbing a scrap piece of paper and quickly writing something down, but you don't focus on him, you dwell on the word and how to say it. You make a sound, a gargled, almost strangling sound. It hurts, your vocal cords sore and dormant after years of disuse. You swallow hard, making another harsh noise. This one catches Newt's attention and he turns, looking back at you with wide eyes. You close your mouth and close your eyes, swallowing again before pushing the word out. 

"Newt." 

Well, not quite. It came out as more of choked 'hoot,' but it was the best you could do. Even the one word is a stress on your cords, immediately throwing you into a coughing fit. You can't stop, hand on the wall to brace yourself as you continue to cough. Newt is suddenly standing in front of you and a hand is being pressed to the back of your head, bringing it up and forward. A glass is placed at your lips and is slowly tilted forward. Water. You can't remember the last time you were given a glass of water and it was cold at that. You sputter a moment, excess spilling over you lip and down your face but you quickly recover and drink. The water is so cool and very refreshing. Your throat was sore and aching from all of the coughing and the water quickly eased the sinsation. But the glass is rapidly empty and the hand helping to support you head is moved to your neck, and then removed all together with the glass. 

"Hey," Newt chastises, still not having a name to call you by. "You do not need to exert yourself, okay?" You lower your head in shame, stomach tightening as you anticipate a beating. You truly can't stop yourself. After years of being beat for doing the wrong thing, you tend to expect it. He deflates as he sees you curl in on yourself, not that he was really mad in the first place. "It's okay. You're safe here," he says in a softer tone. Suddenly a cry sounded outside. You cower down, wings flapping out and curling around you in a protective manner. One wing flys out, wrapping around Newt and causing him to stumble and fall onto you. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s just Frank; he’s not going to hurt us.” Your wings slowly releases him, face burning hotly in embarrassment. He laughs, walking to the doorway where a cloth is hung in place of a door. You cautiously walk behind him, keeping an even pace a few steps behind Newt. He swiped the cloth up, walking out and holding it up for you. You walk out slowly, wings held tense behind you in alert. Newt lets the sheet fall behind as you step out, frozen in your steps. It’s so… magical. There are different… creatures, everywhere. You had never seen so many different animals all in one place. You look around, trying to take it all in. There are wall like structures positioned every so often, each creating a new habitat, but the entirety of everything was in one extremely large room. 

You feel slightly overwhelmed; everything’s happening at once and you have no control over anything. You take a step back, not entirely sure of what you're planning to do, but suddenly Newt’s there. He has an arm wrapped tightly around your lower back, just under your wing joints. “It's okay. I know it's a lot to take in. Just breathe. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I can introduce you to everyone as soon as you feel better, okay?” You not mutely, stealing a glance up at him. You take a deep breath, using his touch as an anchor as you take in everything around you. After a few moments you nod once more and Newt begins to lead you around the case. He takes you first to Frank, who is extremely eager to meet you. Frank peers at you cautiously, squawking and spreading his wings. You hum, wings spreading as well as you walk towards him. He swoops his head down, using his huge beak to nuzzle you. You laugh, running your hands over his head and down his neck, petting his soft feathers. You're sure your feathers have never been or would ever be this sort, and you took comfort in stroking his soft coat. His wings puff up, showing off his beautiful golden feathers. You laugh at his antics, leaning forward and resting your head on his.


	3. Bath Time

You look over your shoulder, turning from Frank and searching. Newt’s standing behind you two, silently watching you. You blush deeply, ducking your head down as you walk towards him. He knows he was caught staring and the tips of Newt’s ears turn red as he stutters out, “I, uh… He, um… Fr-Frank’s a good job of character. And he-he’s clearly very fond of you. It usually takes a lot longer to earn a Thunderbird’s trust. Yo-your very special.” He ducks his own head down at the statement and you’re somewhat taken aback. A small smile plays on your lips at his words. You spread a wing out, all the way to its fullest extent, gesturing to it in explanation. They were nearly 8 feet in length each. And you only say nearly because Boss had cut off almost half a foot when he had last trimmed you. You absolutely hated it when he would trim your wings. Your wings were extremely similar to that of birds, so it doesn't cause pain to trim your wings, although it does make it where you can't fly want so ever. Of course, Boss knew what he was doing, but he constantly cut them too short just to inflict more pain. He simply loved hurting your, often calling you his favorite plaything. And although your feet have not left the ground in so many years, you can vaguely recall the feeling of flying from before. The first thing that always comes to mind it a sense of... freedom. You can remember believing it was the best feeling in the world. Now you look at the tapered tips of your wings with a bone-deep sadness. After you last molting, when Boss had retrimmed you wings last, he had cut far, far, far too deep, the sharp blade slicing through the skin and bone under your feathers. You might not know a lot about yourself, your kind, or your species, but you did know you had some power to heal yourself and what was left of your wings would grow back eventually. The only problem was it would take a terribly long time and any molting you had before you were completely healed would be horribly painful. You tended to have two a year, if not three. Molting always occurred in early spring and early fall, to prepare for the changing of seasons, but it wasn't at all unheard of to have three or four if your wings were badly enough damaged.

Newt breaths in a gasp, eyes locked on your wing. You had meant your wings were the reason Frank liked you so much, but Newt wasn't paying attention. He was staring at the tip of your wing, or where the tip would be. He slowly, as if cautiously, steps forward, moving towards your extended wing. You became nervous, shifting from one foot to another and one hand playing with the end of your dress-like covering. You move your wing slightly, fighting the desire to pull it to your body. He glances to your face for a second, hand coming out and held in front of his, as if afraid I would attack him. I scoff at the idea in my head. I would never hurt anyone, much less him. But I suppose he it used to hurt animals attacking him with his job. He comes even closer, standing only a few inches away. He's close enough to reach out and touch your feathers if he wanted to. If he did, you certainly wouldn't push him off, but you hated the attention he was giving them. You were embarrassed by them. They dwindled in comparison to Frank's. Not only were they almost the exact opposite colors, yours being a dark charcoal with deep blue undertones where his were white and gold, they were tarnished and downright disgusting in some places. Feathers were askew and in multiple places completely missing, while dirt and grime buildup under the few good ones. Not to mention the cuts and scrapes littered across them, blood dried and clotted as you had no way to clean them. But Newt approaches them as if they are something special, something to be cherished with a mix of awe and shock covering his features. He reaches a hand out, as if to lay a hand on my near shaking wing, before he stops, fingers hovering just above the near visible bone. Just out of reach. He swallows thickly before attempting to speak. "He-he did this, didn't he? He cu-cut your wings." The last was more of a statement, but was delivered with hope. Hope against all forces that I would correct him, but I made no move to. I meekly nod, head hung low as I tilt my head to the side away from him. "Ma-may I help? Please?" I frown slightly considering his words. I look up at him, casting him an uncertain glance. "I-I can help you clean them and I have mixtures that could help heal them."

You nod hesitant, unsure of what to do. He smiles widely, causing you to blush lightly and return a small half-smile. Newt backs up, holding out his hand to you. You gingerly reach out, placing your hand in his. It seemed to fit almost perfectly, his larger, slightly callused hand holding your smaller, softer hand. You blush slightly, shaking your head to get rid of the thoughts. "Do... we probably need to clean them first, right?" You nod again and he leads you to a large area, semi-closed off by wall-like structures. There's a very shallow dug out area, filled with a little water, only enough to cover the tops of your feet. There's a tube that leads from the water up against one of the walls and it attached to the top, creating a shower. He releases your hand, sitting on a stump nearby to remove his shoes. He continues, removing his coat and vest and socks, laying all of them in a neat pile to the side. You look down at your own clothing, frowning slightly. You were wearing the same basic covering Boss gave you. It was a large piece of fabric, stitched together on the bottom. The back comes down low on her back to allow her wings and it comes up, tying behind your neck. You had nothing underneath, no shoes or underclothes, because Boss hadn't allowed it. Even the dress was privilege, one that was taken away if she had ever disobeyed or if he just felt she deserved it. You look back to Newt, still frowning. He stands up, now barefoot with only his white undershirt and tan pants, pants and sleeves rolled up. He looks at you, still smiling shyly. You pick up the layer of shirt, tilting your head to Newt, hoping he understood your silent question. Did he want you to take off your dress. His ears go slightly red, and he shakes his head, "No, you can leave it on. If it gets wet, you can wear something of mine. If that's okay...?" You nod, stepping back as he comes forward to start the water to run through the tube. He wets his hands, turning and motioning for you to come forward. You walk up next to him, watching him closely, wings shifting behind you almost nervously. "May I?" he asks, gesturing to my left wing, which is closer to him. You nod, stretching it out so it's even closer to him. Keeping eye contact, something he hasn't done almost the entire time, he gently reaches out, lightly touching the feathers and running a hand softly over the main arching bone. You squeeze your eyes tightly shut, biting down on your lip and forcing yourself to not flinch as he touched you. But closing your eyes was worse. You saw him. Boss was there, Newt's soft hands replaced which his harsh, cruel ones. In your mind you saw him grabbing your feathers roughly, pulling them out by the handful. Boss was yelling at you, pulling out more and more feathers as he did so. He grabbed a knife, holding a wing steady as he slashed through it. Your eyes flew open as you cried out, jerking back from the hand holding your wings. There's a sharp, painful sting as you throw yourself backward, tripping and falling on your rear. The man now standing aboves you gasps, rushing after you. Thinking of what you saw in your head you turn around, scrambling as you try to run away. You run only a few feet and you're now in Frank's area. He's flying, wings flapping hard as rain begins to pour down. He instantly flies down to you, landing and wrapping you in a wing, pulling you closer to him. He chirps at you softly, shifting and laying beside you. You hold onto him as you breath heavily, trying to calm down. He curls around you protectively, resting his head on yours.

Don't be upset. You'll be okay.

You blink, eyes watery as you raise your head to look at Frank, frowning deeply. Did he just talk to you? In your head? You shook your head lightly, dismissing the thought. It couldn't be, it was impossible. But still, you doubted yourself. You doubted how much you knew. You cautiously think, Frank?, in your head, trying to send it to him. He tilted his head, chirping a little. Then he did something you never thought you would ever see. Frank, this huge amazing thunderbird, nodded. Frank nodded to the question you had sent him in your head. You must be dreaming. I... I can hear you?  
Before he responds you suddenly hear someone shouting. "Hey! Frank! Don't hurt her! Be careful! Frank!" It was Newt and he sounded horribly distressed. Frank shifting, turning to look at him, and you could now see through his wings. Newt stood there, breathing heavily, one hand on his side and the other running through his hair. "Frank, where is she?! Is she okay? Did-did I hurt her?" He was frantic and... worried. He was worried about you. You move your own wings, wincing when you did so. Frank looked back to you and you nodded. He suddenly stood again, walking back a few steps and revealing you. Newt sighs a breath of relief as he sees you, rushing to you. He starts to wrap you in a hug but stops himself just before he does, pulling back a little and looking you over. "I... I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to. Did I hurt you? I mean, of course I hurt you, but are you okay." He looks you up and down, studying your wings. You look down at them too, just in time to see blood running down them and hitting the ground. "You're bleeding. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. You... I- I can't believe I did that. I'm sorry." Searching for the injury you notice another group of feathers missing. Newt had been trying to clean your wings when you panicked, jerking back. He had had feathers in his hand when you did so and with the sudden movement he had no time to release them, causing him to rip them out. He's still apologizing over and over, and you step forward, gently reaching out resting a hand on his shoulder, and slowly moving it up to his neck to get him to look at you. He pauses, once again making eye contact, which you force yourself to hold. You nod, trying to tell him it's okay. He sighs, reaching up to cup the side of your face. "I... I don't want you to get hurt." You smile, blushing slightly. After another moment you finally break the eye contact, looking to the side. He blushes, backing up and clearing his throat softly. He gestures back to the shower structure and you walk back together. Looking down, you can see a group of feathers on the ground as well as some blood. The sight sent a chill down your back, but you forced yourself to focus. You grabbed the end of your wing, guiding it under the water. You washed off more blood, beginning to go through the feathers. You took care to pull out any damaged or broken feathers and straightening any that you could. While it hurt to pull them out, it would do a lot more harm to leave them in. Newt stood behind you, watching you for a moment and then beginning to work on a section closer to the joints. You worried your lip as you worked, pulling the feathers and thoroughly cleaning the others. After finally finishing the first you both move onto the second, wincing when you come to the parts with cuts. This wing was much more injured and you both worked much more cautiously. After what seemed like forever they were both finally clean, and you immediately let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't spoken the entire time, but you had caught him quietly humming to himself after a while. You wouldn't complain though, you loved the sound too much, and you wondered what he would sound like singing.

You are completely soaked as Newt stops the water flow, while Newt managed to only get halfway there. A sudden thought struck your mind and you back a few steps, watching as Newt turns to face you. "Don't worry about the feathers, I'll pick them up la-" You cut him off by flapping your large swings, sending all of the water clinging to them flying off and splattering on him. He freezes, jaw almost dropping as he looks at you. You laugh wildly at his expression, one of pure shock. After a moment of shock and confusion he joins you laughing, nearly doubling over. His eyes sparkle as his eyes become almost wet. He sits down where he had sat earlier, wiping his eyes and the laughter dies down. You're still smiling like crazy, very proud of yourself for making him smile and laugh like that. He looks up at you, head tilted to the side with a half smile. You blush deeply, looking down and around. After a small pause he leans back over, grabbing up his outer clothes and walking back the way you had originally came, to the bedroom. You follow farther behind, taking your time to take in all of the sights around you; all of the different animals moving here and there and all of their different habits blending seamlessly into one another by the curtin-like flaps. It's amazing and breathtaking, this entire wonderful world around you. You hurry to catch up with Newt, who is now far ahead of you, already making his way into the bedroom. He once again held the curtain open for you as you stepped in. "Um, I don't really have anything that you could wear, with the wings and everything, but I can go ask Queenie and Tina. I'm sure they would have something to borrow." You nod, not sure who he is talking about or what relevance they are, but you trust him not to hurt you or but you in danger. Newt took out his stick again, and you immediately move back, scared of it. Earlier sparks and noises had shot out of it towards you and you didn't trust it wouldn't try to hurt you. Your wings flare protectively, wrapping around yourself and you involuntarily make a hiss like noise. Newt's startled, turning and looking at you concerned. He is confused as to your reaction, unsure of what you were doing. After a moment he down, frowning at the stick as a look of understanding crosses his features. "Ah," he murmurs, looking back at you. He holds the wand out and you flinch back once more, scared of it. "This is my wand, okay? I'm a wizard, and my wand allows me to do magic. It's not going to hurt you, alright?" You nodded, peering closer at it. Newt held it out, offering it to you, and you shook your head, not wanting to come into contact with it. One part of what he said really interested you through, the magic. You could do magic too, but you didn't use a stick- a wand. You just concentrated and willed whatever you wanted to happen or appear to do so. You were curious why he had to use a wand when you didn't. Did it have something to do with your wings? You knew you were different from him, an entirely different species you were sure, but wouldn't all magic be just about the same? Why would he have to use a wand if you didn't? You thought these questions to yourself, pondering them to yourself. Maybe you could ask him later, when you found a way to communicate.


	4. Queenie Goldstein

Shaking your head you refocused on what was happening. Newt was waving his wand, murmuring something, and his clothes suddenly changed. He was back in his formal wear, and his clothes were now dry. You watched in wonder as the clothing appeared, layering and buttoning itself. He turned, looking at the pile of clothing he had set down. He started speaking, soft tones that you couldn't quite make out. You stepped towards him, curious as to what he was doing. He turns around, a small half-smile on his face, holding something on his hand. You tilt your head, peering closer as he steps to you. "Hey, meet Pickett," he says, "This is, um... a new friend."  _ Hello, Pickett,  _ you try, attempting to speak with him in your mind again.

**_Hello, how are you talking to me?_ **

_ I... I'm not sure. _

**_Well, hello. What's your name?_ **

_ I don't remember. _

**_How?_ **

_ It's been a long, long time since anyone has called me by a name. _

**_Don't worry. Mummy will take care of you and give you a new name now._ ** Picket suddenly reached towards you, so you held out a hand and he happily jumped, clutching onto your thumb. You made a small coo noise, bringing him up closer to your face.

_ Did you just call Newt mummy?  _ You laugh, looking up and glancing at Newt. Did he call himself Mummy to his creatures? That was sweet. Newt stood near you both, watching you both confused.

**_Yes, Newt is mummy. He says so._ ** You laugh, bringing your other hand up to cover your mouth as you do so. Newt is now thoroughly confused, but is chuckling as well. "What are you doing?" he exclaims, trying not to laugh harder. You duck your head back down, sheepishly shrugging as you hand Pickett back to Newt. Newt accepts him, moving and placing Pickett in his coat pocket. "Pickett is a bowtruckle. They protect their home trees, but he seems particularly fond of me and refuses to let go. He usually doesn't leave me." Looking at his pocket you can see Pickett poking his head up, mouthing along to the words Newt is saying. You laugh slightly, making Newt even more confused. He looks down to Pickett, who quickly ducks away before he can see him. He frowns slightly, looking between us before shaking his head again. "Anyway, would you like to meet them? Queenie and Tina, I mean." You slowly nod, if he thinks it's best, you will go along with what he says. You completely trust him. He gives you another one of his half-smiles, leading you to a ladder in a shed-like structure. You look around swiftly, not talking much time before he is climbing up the ladder and encouraging you to follow. You hesitantly climb up, wings tucking themselves as close to your body as possible so you can fit through the small opening. He reaches back down, offering you a hand as you step out and back on solid ground. You look around and suddenly you are in a bedroom, a normal tidy one, with two beds on each side. Frowning you look back down, to see a smaller suitcase, which Newt closes and picks up. Were you in the case this whole time? Was that entire world fit into the suitcase? How was that remotely possible? Suddenly there is another voice, one coming from the doorway, bright and cheery. You jump back, startled, wings fluffing to make you appear larger than you really are, a defense mechanism.

"Hello! You must be the woman Tina and Newt where talking about. What's your name?" This is not the first time you've been asked this quite a short amount of time, and you work harder to remember, thinking back to a time long lost to you. A face appears and you mind supplies it's your mother. Suddenly you recall her calling to you when you were outside, Y/N. Y/N! That must be your name! You smile widely, proud you can remember. But now you have no way of telling them your name, you can't talk. "Oh, y/n, nice to meet you, I'm Queenie." The woman smiles widely, extending her hand to you. She seems nice enough, but how does she know your name? You didn't tell her. You don't trust her, suddenly very cautious, looking to Newt. He nods, as if encouraging you, but you're unsure of what to do.

After another moment, Queenie dropped her hand, shuffling awkwardly. You felt bad for not shaking her hand, but you couldn't shake the feeling something was off about her. Testing a theory you push a thought towards her, clearing the rest of your mine.  _ How do you know my name? _ You studied her closely to see if she reacted. After a moment  her eyes widened, "Oh! Newt didn't tell you. I'm a legilimen, I can read people's minds. I don't mean to do it, I sort of just do. Sorry." You looked to Newt you blushed slightly.

"I-I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. What, did she call you your name?" Suddenly he was excited, looking hopefully at you. You look to Queenie, clearing your mind and projecting another thought.  _ Can you tell him yes, my name is Y/N.  _ Now Queenie looked confused, as if your request was odd.

"Why?" she asks, resting a hand on her hip.  _ Beca-because I'm mute.  _ She's shocked, a hand covering her mouth. "Oh, Darling, I'm sorry. It was rude of me to assume. Newt, she says that yes, her name is Y/N. And don't worry sweetie, I'll help you communicate anytime I'm around, alright?" You nod, ducking your head down as you thank her in your head. You'll just have to be careful of anything else you think around her. "So, Newt, you finally decided to come out of that case of yours?" He laughs slightly as he nods, a faint blush appearing on the tips of his eyes and the top of his checks.

“Yes, well, I was hoping you or Tina would have something Y/N can borrow to wear for the time being. If that’s alright with you…?” As he talks his hand fiddles with the said case, running his thumb over the handle as if nervous. Queenie’s excited by the idea, clasping her hands together.

“Of course it’s fine. Y/N, come into my room. I’m sure we can find you something to wear. Newt you make yourself at home in the living room, alright?” He nods, watching you as he walks away. He is probably recalling you fainting as he left the first time and you duck your head down, embarrassed. What must he think of you if he has to make sure you won’t pass out when he leaves? You press your lips together in a fine line, determined to be better, especially for Newt. “Don’t worry, hun. Newt doesn’t think ill of you, he probably just wants to make sure you’re safe,” Queenie whispers, leaning closer so Newt won’t hear. Your startled for a moment, forgetting she could read your mind. “Now, what size are you?” She asks a glint in her eye as she leads you to her bedroom. You look down at your dress, looking back up and shrugging. She asks you to sit on the bed, which you do, and you hear her murmur, “This is going to be fun.” 


	5. Undergarments

She darts to her wardrobe, shifting through some clothes. “Now, we’re going to have to find something with an open back, because of your wings, so…” Queenie trails off, opening another drawer. "Oooh! Hey, try this one. Do you have anything on underneath?" She tossed you a odd looking garment, which you caught with one hand. She looks back to you expectantly, and you slowly shake your head no. Why would you need something under your dress? Queenie apparently heard your question, even though you hadn't meant for her to. "Well, it's just something normal most people do. But you don't have to if you don't want to. I think it's just more comfortable. I'm... not sure I have your size though," she said, glancing down at your chest for a moment. You blushed deeply, crossing an arm over your chest. You didn't particularly like your larger chest, you found it was more uncomfortable and you wished you had a smaller one. 

 

_ I, uh... I never wore anything underneath before. At least I don't remember it. Half the time Boss took away the dress, too. _ You didn't even think twice about the statement, moving on to inspect the odd top garment she had thrown at you. You were immersed in trying to figure out how it went you didn't notice Queenie before the bed dipped beside you as she sat down by your side. Somewhat startled you look up, raising an eyebrow. What was wrong? Why did she look upset? Was it something you had said. 

 

"Y/N, was... was 'Boss' the man that had you before?" She was very worried, and it looked as if her eyes were getting wet. You begin to panic on the inside. Did you do something wrong? Trying to keep calm and clear your thoughts you nod to her question. She swallows thickly, looking down at her hands in her lap before looking back up at you. "I... I don't work for the MACUSA, so I don't know much about everything that happened, but Tina told me you had been rescued from an illegal underground trade network of some kind. I don't know all of the details, it was just said in the passings as Newt brought you in. Um... I want-I want to ask you something. And you don't have to answer if you don't want to, okay? You can just tell me to leave it alone and I'll drop and I'll focus to not read your thoughts. But, Tina's working on a case against the man that held you and it would help the case. Okay?" You were scared now, terrified really. What was she going to ask? Against your will your mind raced through a list of different possibilities of what she could ask, each worse than the next. You force yourself to nod though, wanting to help in any way possible even if you were frightened. "Did- Did he touch you? Force you to do things you didn't want to do?" That wasn't what you were expecting. Of course he touched you, you had scars from his knives and whips to prove it. They were clearly on display for her to see them, as you weren't wearing the most covering clothing. And he everything he had you do was against your will. You don't think you ever wanted to willingly do something for him, although you did most things for him without being asked twice out of sheer fear. He was constantly using your magic for things you didn't agree with or want. What kind of questions were those? But something told you that wasn't all she was asking about... 

 

_ In what way? What do you mean? _ You hope she understood what you were asking, and could hear those thoughts more clearing than the rest swimming around in your head. You studied her for a moment, turning to watch her. She had a deep frown on her face, staring intently at her hands. Suddenly what she was asking doned on you, and it was up there high on the list of questions you feared she would ask.  _ You mean... you mean like sex? _ She looked up at you, eyes misty as she nodded. She reached over, grabbing your hand up in her own. 

 

"Like I said, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I'm hear to listen to you if you want. You can come and talk to me about anything and everything, alright? I'll be your friend." She smiled softly, sadness drowning her features and you could practically hear her praying the answer was no. 

 

You loved the contact of her hand, and you happily squeezed it before attempting to order your thoughts and project something to her. You closed your eyes, trying to think of something happy and force him out of your thoughts for a moment. Suddenly Newt popped in your head, and you used his smiling and laughing face from earlier to give you strength.  _ Um... Well, yeah. He, um... He had me...  _ You paused, trying to think of a good phrasing that sounded better.  _ He would use me to service him. And, ah... others. _ Your head is hung low, feeling dirty and ashamed of your answer. Not only had he used you, but he allowed others to as well. It was one of his favorite punishments for you, except of course torturing your wings. You can't even think to look at her, horrible, self-destructive thoughts running through your head of what she must think of you know. She probably thinks you're as pathetic as you really are, a voice in the back of your head supplied. Queenie let out a strangled, almost sob sound and she removed one of her hands, the other squeezing yours tightly. What would Newt think of you if he knew? Would he care? He would probably care, and he would probably hate you for it, the harsh voice replied. It wasn't like the creature's voices, which were soft sounding and kind. This voice was mean and destructive, and you knew deep down it was you. It was your worst thoughts animated in a voice, which was always telling you that you weren't good enough. And you knew deep down you weren't. But you still somethings liked to believe you were, even if it didn't last long. Now completely petrified you look out of the corner of your eye, catching a glimpse of her. She had her mouth covered with one hand, and appeared to be holding back tears. When she saw you look to her she rushed forward, grabbing you in a large hug, while being extremely careful of your wings. She was crying audibly now, crying into your shoulder as she held you tight. You couldn't help it. Your bottom lip trembled as tears escaped, running down your face and to your chin. You held her to you, body shaking as you too began crying. She was murmuring over and over, how sorry she was it had happened and how she would do everything in her power to protect you no matter what. You kept your eyes open, no matter how much you wanted to close them, afraid you would close them and see him there. See him there, hurting you. Instead of Queenie, of her hugging you. Of her telling you how much she loved you and how strong you were. Even though she felt far, far, far from strong you listen to her attempt to comfort you, trying to soak in the words. 

 

Suddenly Newt burst into the room, wand at his side and a coat askew. "Merlin's beard! Y/N, are you alright? I thought something was wrong." He pauses, putting away his wand and straightening his coat. He approaches softly, taking small steps in your direction. "Y/N," he asked quietly, eyes flickering to your and then away every so often. "Ar-are you okay? What happened?" I let go of Queenie, who I had still been holding onto, keeping my eyes cast down as I reach up and wipe at my face. Queenie also wipes her tears, looking up at him and smiling. 

 

"Newt, dear, you worry too much! We're just having a little girl talk, that's all." She glances at you, and you can practically hear the question she's silently asking you. Do you want to tell Newt? You become choked up at the thought, and furiously shake your head no. She smiles almostly sadly at you, watching you for a second. Expertly she masks her face, cheering up almost instantly. "Really, it was just some mushy girl talk. She's fine." She stands, walking to her wardrobe and looking through the clothes. Newt still stands, looking thoroughly unconvinced. 

 

"I-I don't want to intrude, or push you, but are you sure you're okay? You can tell me whatever it is, you know that right?" You huff a small, unamused laugh, looking up at him and pointing to your throat. He blushes at that, looking down as if ashamed he had forgotten you couldn't speak. "Well, there are other ways we can communicate. You can talk through Queenie, or you could write out what you want to say. We can make it work if you want to." It sounds... it sounds almost nice. You almost wished you could talk just to talk to Newt. He was sweet and lovable and meant the world to you and you wanted to make him happy even if it meant talking when you didn't truly wish to. You half-smile, and he lights up, clearly happy with the thought. At this time Queenie comes back with clothing for me, sending a playful frown to Newt. 

 

"Newt!" she chastises, a hand on her hip. "Shoo! We're trying to find something better for Y/N to wear, and she can't change with you in the room." His ears go red, which you can't help but find endearing, and he stands up, stumbling as he does so. He nods, leaving the room quickly, casting you one last look and a small nod as he does so. Just before he closes the door you nod back, showing you were fine and you would be fine. As he closes the door you look back to Queenie, who is holding up another odd looking top or dress thing. You take a deep breath, blowing it hotly out your nose.  _ Alright, let's get this done.  _

 


	6. Dinner Time

1 hour. One whole hour was long it took for Queenie to 'doll you up.' Now, looking at yourself in the mirror you can agree you look better, but it took far too long in your opinion. Most of the time was taken up by trying to find a outfit which not only fit, but you were also comfortable in. She had shown and had you try on many tops, but most were far too short to wear by themselves and you loathed the idea of wearing pants, or even a skirt really, far too comfortable with your dress. Once she found a dress with a cut out back it was revealed the the lines in the back of the cut-out came too high and irritated your wing joints, which were not accustomed to the sensation of fabric. You had both finally found a dress which was not too frilly or glitzy and had a low back to allow your wings room. It also had longer sleeves, which you were very thankful for, as you hated the scars covering your body. Then she had insisted on doing your hair, which you did not like the process of. You hadn't brushed or really even washed your hair for so long it wasn't in the best condition. But Queenie made it work, using a spell to fix it and then helping you brush through it all. You hadn't cut it in all of the time you had spent it there, so it was fairly a good length, trailing all the way past your butt. You didn't really like the length, and hesitantly asked Queenie if she would cut it for you, which she agreed excitedly to. She trimmed your hair, cutting it to the perfect length in your opinion, not too short but not too long. She had offered to braid your hair, but you disagreed, not wanting it to be constricted in any way. She also tried to do your makeup, which you were not exactly familiar with, but you refused as soon as she can at your eye with a long, stick looking thing. She had pouted for a while, but had finally decided you were done, to your utmost relief. 

You studied yourself in the mirror, from your new dress to your shorter hair to your clean and healing wings. You nodded to yourself, deciding this was as good as you were going to get and stepped out. You walked out of her bedroom and looked around the small living room for Newt, who was nowhere to be seen. You frowned. Had he left? Did he decide you were too much trouble to bother with and just left you? Surely he wouldn't, would he? Newt didn't seem like the kind of man to just up and leave you, but looking around he was nowhere to be seen. Queenie mad a tisking sound under her breath, muttering something about that man and his case before affectionately shaking her head. As she scoped the living room you now noticed his case laying on the ground, shut tightly. Finding it she bent over, knocking on the top and stepping back. After a few moments, which felt like forever for you since you were waiting to see what Newt though of you, the lid shook. It slowly opened, revealing Newt who quickly climbed out and shut the case tightly, picking it up. "Right, well. Here I am. I didn't know how long it would take for you two to finish, so I thought I would check up on my..." He was facing away from you, buttoning his coat and he finally turned around, sentence abandon as he looked you up and down. Nervous you cast your eyes down, head ducking downwards as well. Seemingly realizing what he just did he blushed deeply, looking away. "You... You look marvelous, Y/N." He ducked his own head down as well, looking over your shoulder to Queenie. "You look quite stunning as well." She nodded, smirking slightly. 

"Newt, sweetheart, you are too kind. I was about to start dinner. Is there anything either of you would fancy?" Queenie asks, turning to the kitchen. You give a small shrug, leaning against the wall. You liked this position, even if it was cowering slightly. No one could sneak up on you from behind, if you were quiet enough you could blend in, and you could observe everything without being engaged too much. You watched as Newt spoke and laughed with Queenie and you quickly became jealous of how familiar they were with each other. Sure he never quite met her eyes, always looking slightly off to the side or at something behind her, but he typically wouldn't meet yours either. Your wings fluttered softly at your sides, curling around your body ever so slightly. Comforting you. A noise sounded at the door and your head jerked up to it, eyes tracking the movement as the doorknob wiggled. It suddenly swung open and you press your back firmly against the wall. The brown hair girl, the one who was with Newt earlier, walked it and shut the door behind her. Queenie warmly greeted her, Newt smiling and nodding his head in a similarly as well. You frown slightly, observing them. Did Newt have a crush on this new girl? How did she fit with Queenie and Newt? You hoped to stay silent and hidden, but it wasn't long before the new woman noticed you. 

"Oh! Hello, my name's Tina. I was with Newt in the warehouse, remember? I'm also going to be working on your case at MACUSA. When you're well you can come and when came type up a report." She smiles at you in a friendly way, but Queenie comes up behind her, smacking her lightly on the arm. Tina looks over to her as Queenie scowls her. Clearing her throat she steps forward once more. "I- I'm sorry. That was a bit much at once. I'll restart; my name's Tina." She holds her hand out as Queenie had done before, although her's seems more stiff and formal. Regardless you take a small step forward, slightly placing your hand in hers and allowing her to shake. You step back again, suddenly feeling trapped. You were in a corner, a bookshelf on the left side of you with the wall at your back. Queenie and Tina were standing in front of you, in a friendly way, but entrapping you nonetheless. You could feel your heart starting to beat faster and your eyes darted over their shoulder searching for a way out. Your eyes land on Newt and you breath out a burst of air. You squeeze yourself even smaller, moving past Queenie without touching her. You dart over to Newt, standing just behind him to the side and focusing on your breathing. 

He turns his head, glancing at you before his eyes dart away. "Are you alright?" he asks softly, not turning his entire body towards you. This gave you control. He wasn't turning and blocking your movement with his own body. You were trapped, you could move if you wished, just as you had wished to move beside him. You shook your head ever so softly, leaning forward and resting your forehead on his arm. "May I?" You nod, trusting him fully. He shifts his arm, putting it around your shoulder and hugging you gently. You head moves to his shoulder and you rest there a moment, taking your time to breathe in and out, in and out, in and out. You steady yourself once more and straightened up, smiling up at Newt. He blushes faintly, giving you a small smile in return. 

"Dinner?" Queenie questions, setting the table. You follow Newt's lead and sit beside him at the table. Tina and Queenie sit across from you and the three began making small talk as they eat. You fiddle with the fork for while, twisting it in your hands. You of course remember how to use it, but the action is slightly foreign to you. You push the food around your plate, only eating a few bites. "Y/N, honey, is the food alright?" Queenie's question startles you and you look up to her with wide eyes. You can feel your face heat up, ashamed you hadn't ate the food she gave you. To prove there is nothing wrong with the food you hesitantly take a bite, smiling up at her before casting your eyes back down. 

Queenie looks concerned, smiling sadly at you. You look out of the corner of your eye to Newt, who is not to subtly watching you. He blushes when he catches you looking at him and immediately stares back down at his plate. You clear your throat slightly, sending a thought to Queenie.  _ Um, Tina. You said you worked for MACUSA and would work on my case? What do you mean? _ Queenie quickly relayed the question, shortly explaining how you can't speak yourself. "Oh, yes. MACUSA is the government for magic basically. My Boss put me in charge of piling the case together against the name that held you captive. Creatures... ah, aren't exactly held at the same regard as wizards, but I have no doubt in my mind we can put him away. He shall never see the light of day again, if he doesn't receive a death sentence. That's why I said when you're feeling better you can come down to the office and we will write an official report on you. You may be asked to testify against him, but you can refuse at any time." She nodded to herself, thinking before continuing eating.  _ Wha- What happened to the others? I know I wasn't the only one he held captive.  _

Newt smiled, hesitantly patting your hand reassuringly. "The others are down in my case as well. Sadly a few were is such horrible condition it was best to,... ah, end their suffering, but we saved quite a few. I can introduce you to them after dinner. You can even help me name them." You smile at the thought, somewhat excited to see others who had suffered along with you. You wondered if he had tagged them similar to the way he had you. At that though you reached over, rubbing the skin on your right wrist. Though it had long scared over you could still feel it ache every so often, causing you to rub at the irritated skin. You force yourself to take another bite of food, somewhat lost in thought. 

The others finished their food quickly, all continuing to make small talk with each other. Queenie and Newt both made efforts to bring you into the conversation, but you had simply nodded or shaken your head. You hadn't wanted to be rude, but you weren't really in the mood to talk. Well, not that you can talk, but you didn't feel like asking Queenie to speak for you. You didn't eat much, mostly pushing the food around your plate. Normally you would be scarfing down any food you were given, but that seemed highly inappropriate in the circumstances and you had no idea how to act. You mostly sat there, giving your full attention to your plate while listening in on their conversations. Before you knew it, everyone was standing up, moving around and putting the plates away. You instinctively grabbed onto yours, frighten for it to be taken away as well, but you quickly released it and handed it over Queenie with a small smile. You watched her take out her wand, silently casting a spell and cleaning all of the dishes before putting them back away in the cupboard. Everything was new to you, and to be quite frank, it scared you. You had no idea how you were supposed to act and you were terrified of doing something wrong. What would happen it you did? Would you be kicked out? Would you get in trouble? You had no idea! You slowly scooted away from everyone, towards the case Newt had left resting on the couch. You sat down cautiously beside it, casting a quickly glance at it ever so often before looking back at the others. 

It was only a few moments before Newt noticed you were gone though, and he quickly came to your side. "Hey, Y/N, it everything alright?" he asked you softly, motioning for the other two girls to carry on wait they were doing. Unsure of yourself you nodded, trying to give him your best smile. "Do you want to go back in the case?" Newt voice was soft, and though it didn't meet your eyes you could tell his full attention was on you. You paused, wondering if it would be rude to say yes. Would they see it as you didn't like them, or as if you were disrespecting them? You weren't sure, but you  _ did  _ know that simply sitting here was horrible and you were constantly worried about your actions. You look back to Newt, shyly nodding your head yes to his previous question. He gave you a large smile, allowing you to finally breathe a sigh of relief. A small smile forms on your lips as Newt grabs the case, setting it on the ground in front of you both. He quickly opens it, holding an arm out to help you down. You gingerly place a hand on his arms, stepping down into the case. Once you're a few steps down you release his arm, steadying yourself on the case's side. As your feet land on the floor of the case, you look back up, confused when Newt doesn't follow you down. Just as your head to go up a step to investigate, his head pops into view above you. "Y/N," he calls down, smiling softly down at you, "I'm going to speak with Queenie and Tina for a moment, alright? I'll be down soon." You nod, turning and looking around the smaller shed-like room. You slowly step out, vaguely remembering your way around the case. Stepping out of the shed you look around, making your way to Frank's area. You cup your hands to your mouth, calling out a chirp like noise. There's a flutter of movement from above and the large thunderbird drops down from the sky, landing soundly beside you. You laugh slightly, holding out a hand and running it over his large head. You stretch out your wings, fluttering them as you bring them in. 

_ Hey there Frank, _ you think to him, running a head down his beak. You sit down on the edge of the rock, watching as Frank fluffs down beside you.  _ Today's been a long day. I just... I don't understand them. I don't think I fit in here. I don't know how I'm supposed to act or do; everything happens so fast and I don't understand it all. _ You sigh, leaning your head against Frank's as tears well in your eyes. You quickly wipe them away, hating the feeling of crying. It always makes you feel so weak. But you can't stop yourself from crying, and soon more tears are running down your face and dripping from your chin. Frank chirps lightly at you, cooing to you. You turn your head, burying your face in Frank's neck. 

**_It's okay,_ ** you heard Frank's 'voice' in your head.  **_Newt loves you and he'll take care of you. Mummy will heal you and he'll help you fit in. He loves you... he loves all of us._ ** Franks pauses for a moment, shuffling around and wrapping one wing tightly around you as you attempt to stop the flow of tears.  **_You were still asleep, but when Newt came in yesterday he brought in a baby. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but it was very, very small. Newt cradled it in the shed and tried to feed it, but it was too small and too weak and he didn't make it. You should have seen Newt; it broke his heart. I tried to comfort him, but he didn't understand me. And I know it's not the same. But now he has you. He can understand you like you can understand me, and you can comfort him when he cries. And you'll help each other._ ** You smile softly up at him as he runs his large beak down the side of your face. You nod, sighing contentedly as you wait for Newt to come down the ladder and introduce you to everyone else. You don't even realize you nodding off, curling in a small ball with your wings cocooning you in the crook of Frank's wings. He snuggles down beside you, resting his head to the side of your body. 


	7. The Others

"Y/N? Y/N, where are you?" You stir slightly at your name, yawning and shuffling closer to the warmth next to you. Blinking open your eyes, you find yourself wrapped in a flurry of feathers. The large body shifts and a large eye blinks open, focusing in on you. You smile softly at Frank, reaching out at brushing a hand over his head. "Y/N?!" Newt voice startles you and try to look around to find him, but you can only see feathers. Sitting up, you're glad when Frank lets you up, pulling his wings to himself and allowing you to stay. You stand uneasily on the rock turning to look for Newt. It takes you a moment to find him, as he is currently searching through the biome next to Frank's for you. You take small, soft steps behind him, gently reaching out and resting a hand on his shoulder. Newt starts, spinning around and grabbing your forearm. He is startled, but his soon gives you a small smile. "Oh! There you are. I was getting worried; where were you?!" You shyly smile back, pointing to Frank. Newt smiles widely at that, glancing over to him. "I'm glad to see you and Frank are getting along. Would you like to meet everyone else?" You nod enthusiastically, excited. 

 

Newt takes you on a tour of the entire case, both of your losing track of time as he feeds and introduces you to everyone individually. Finally you are back at Frank's enclosure and you are terribly sad for the tour to be over. "Okay, so that's everyone's settled in! But that's not everyone. There was some others, that we rescued from the same place as you..." He trailed of slightly, somewhat embarrassed. "They aren't in the best shape, many are in need of healing and most are still completely wild, so you have to use the utmost caution around them. Please, for your own safety and theirs." You nodded along, somewhat eager to meet others who had been through what you had. Would they be able to speak? What would they look like? You knew there were quite a few who were very different from you, but surely there had to have been at least one other like you. But, if there had been, why would Newt put them in other area away from you? Your thoughts flew quickly through your mind and you could barely make sense of any of them. You hadn't even realized you were following him until you arrived at a new area. Pausing you look over it a moment, studying the outside structure of it. The building was a hastily built extension of the shed, leaning off of it and sectioned off by large drapes and sheet wood. 

 

Using his wand to unlock the door, Newt quickly pushed it open and held it as you stepped through. "Now, I do not believe in cages - I hate to even have creatures in my case because it basically a fairly large cage - but I had to section everyone here off for their own safety. They are all scared, and scared animals tend to lash out. Almost all new creatures come and spend some time in the Healing Room -that's what I call this - before I allow them out to interact with others. It gives everyone time to feel better and become accustomed to the changes around them." As you step in you have to blink rapidly for a moment, trying to convince your eyes to adjust. This room is much, much darker than the rest of the case, nearly as dark as the cell. There is small lights hanging around it which gives a nice and calming feel, something the cell never had. But the thought sends a shiver down your spine nonetheless and you wrap an arm around yourself. There are cages filling the room, but they are filled with blankets and branches and water and food bowls and nearly anything else the creatures may need. You slowly step to each one, your heart splintering as each shrank away from you in fear. No, these creatures weren't quite like you, but they had been through the same cruelty you had. And they were just as fearful as you because of it. You tried to reach out and communicate with them, but they all refused, hissing and cowering away from you. "Yes, I'm afraid most everyone here is traumatized, and it will take quite some time before any of them begin to feel better. I'm been slowly trying to introduce them to others and accustom them to natural light - most seem almost starved for it. There are some who are doing quite well though. I assume they are the ones who had been there the shortest time and who I have another of the same species. This one, she's a Kewstela [Cue-stel-la]. I have a male of the same species and they work well together. I haven't given her a name yet, but Jack is quite smitten with her I believe." 

 

You turn your attention away from everyone else and focus back to Newt. He is delicately supporting a odd fury creature on one hand, allowing it to stand on his hand and arm. It's a smallish weasel-like creature with coarse black-blue fur that seems to be giving off a blue glow. Two small fangs protrude from its mouth and a longer, scaly tail wraps itself around Newt's arm to keep itself upright. It - Jack - gives off a small click noise, turning his head to look at you. You lean your head down, becoming eye level with him as you tilt your own head. It was honestly quite... cute. You smile at him, wrinkling your nose a little. More clicking noises come from deeper in the shed and Jack suddenly turns, clicking out his response as he jumps onto a shelf. Slowly another creature, one quite similar to Jack, appears from the shadows, though extremely cautiously. This one regards Jack for quite some time before emerging fully. She slowly makes her way along the same shelf Jack is sitting on, though she walks with a slight limp. Newt stretches out a hand, dropping some berries on the shelf before backing away. She warily watches him, but shuffles along the shelf to accept the berries. Jack nudges her encouragingly along the way, using his shoulder to support her when she stumbles. You smile at the loving act, closely watching the two. 

 

You suddenly turn to Newt, a question in your eyes as you hold out a hand. He tilts his head confused for a moment, but nods when you point to her and mimic eating a berry. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a couple and handing them over to you. Just as you are about to step forward and hand on you arm pulls you back. "Please, be careful. I don't want you to get hurt." You nod back to him, giving him a reassuring smile as your own heart flutters at the words. Pushing the feeling to the back of your head you step forward, studying the two small creatures as you do so. 

 

Both creatures turn to look at you, though her gaze is much more wary while Jack's is friendly. You hold out your hand, unsurely making a clicking noise in the back of your throat. Well, you try to at least, though it comes out much harsher and high pitch than you meant for it to. Jack blinks at you confused, while she takes a step forward. Her nose twitches rapidly as she limps her way closer to inspect you. You hold out your hand, unwavering in your actions to appear as calm as possible. Though the others didn't take well to you trying to communicate with them, you decide to try again with her. Hello? Can you hear me? I want to be your friend; I'm not going to hurt you. Her eyes suddenly narrow and she tilts her head again. 

 

"Y/N," Newt warns, "She might want you to take a step back. She may look harmless, but her fangs contain an extremely poisonous venom." You nod to acknowledge him, but make no move to step back. 

 

_ Please, don't be afraid. I-i was from the same place you were. Those evil men, they hurt me too. _ You shift the berries to your other hand, twisting your right arm around to show her the tagging marks that are imprinted on your skin.  _ See? They did this to me, and I can only imagine what they did to you. But this man, Newt, _ you pause, gesturing to Newt who was to your side and behind you.  _ He wants to help was get better. Okay? _

 

**_Why should I trust you? How do I know you're not going to hurt me like the others?_ **

 

_ I... I don't know. There's nothing I can do right now that will prove I'm not going to hurt you, but please know that Newt and I will keep you safe. I can back away if you like?  _

 

**_No!_ ** she says suddenly, and you instantly freeze, watching her carefully.  **_You... you don't have to leave. I-i believe you._ ** You smile widely at her, wings fluttering happily behind you as you do. She limps forward a little, looking to the berries in your other hand. You comply and hold them out for her, absolutely delighted when she climbs up onto your hand as Jack had done to Newt. Only she goes a step farther, shuffling her way up to your shoulder and carrying the berries with her. **_I like it up here. I can see a lot._ ** You give her a small smile, gingerly reaching out and running a fingertip over her head. Jack clicks at her, scurrying around excitedly and you laugh lightly as you watch them. 

 

Remembering Newt behind you, you turn to him with an almost smug 'I told you so' look and you find him watching you with awe. "Wow, I hadn't got her to allow me to approach her before. You're amazing with them." You can feel heat rising to your checks and you give him a shy half-shrug, extremely careful not to disturb the creature on your shoulder. "Well, I suppose since she's taken such a liken to you, you should be the one to name her?" Newt reaches in his pockets, pulling out a small notebook and quill. Grabbing a miniscule inkwell from a shelf, he hands them to you. You blink down at the items, unsure of what he wants you to do. Raising an eyebrow at him, it's his turn to blush as he suddenly takes the time to show you how the inkwell and quill work. "See, now you can just write down her name. Then we know what to call her!" Newt's fairly excited and gives you a smile, which once more sends a fluttering feeling to your stomach. 

 

You shakily reach out, taking the quill from him and looking to the cute Kewstela on your shoulder.  _ What would you like your name to be?  _ She seems to think over the question for a moment, and you can't help the smile on your face as you think it suits her. Shakily and quite uncertain of yourself you write out the letter, frowning deeply in concentration. JASMINE. 

 

You look to Newt to study his reaction and he gives you a wide smile. "I think Jasmine's a wonderful name for her."

 


	8. Nighttime and Nightmares

Night time much too quickly for your liking and soon Newt was putting all non-nocturnal animals to sleep, preparing for bed himself. "So, Y/N... I was going to sleep in the Goldstein's guest room, and you can have the bedroom here all to yourself if you like? I don't know if you'd prefer a nest or bed, I honestly don't know much about your species, but I didn't really have time to prepare much." He rambles on slightly, and you huff a laugh. You lightly reach over, laying a hand on his forearm to effectively shut him up. A blush dances across his cheeks and you give him a smile. The bed will be fine, but you'd hate to keep him out of his case. "Right well, I'll leave you to it?" You nod, watching him turn for a moment before slipping into the bedroom. Laying on top of the cover you worm around a little bit, completely unaccustomed to the feeling of sleeping on a real bed. It was nearly completely dark in the room as well, something you completely despised. You tossed and turned for quite some time, settling on sitting up in bed. It was impossible to sleep on your back due to the wing joints and everything felt... off. You felt alone and slightly scared, hating the odd noises and shadows which seemed to surround and jump out at you. 

 

Your unsure of how long you simply sat and stared at the wall, but quite some time had to have passed before you heard a small squeaking. Frowning you look around the room, studying each darken corner thoroughly before you eyes land back on the curtin door, which was moving minutely. Suddenly a small head peeked out from under the cloth, looking up at you with a tilted head. Jack called out once more, moving into the room as Jasmine followed his lead. She immediately ran to you, scurrying up the side of the bed and crawling into your lap. You smiled widely down at her and you happily ran a hand over her oh-so-soft fur. She nuzzled your hand constantly while Jack climbed onto the bed as well, though he laid out on your side rather than your lap. Clearing your throat, you attempt to chirp back at them, only for the sound to come out oddly. It was closer, and you repeated the action in an effort to get it right, but it still had a peculiar ring to it. Shaking you head you bring up a hand to cover a yawn you hadn't felt coming on.

 

Jasmine suddenly jumped out of your lap, squeaking at you as she runs up and stands on the headboard. Jack repeats her action, and you watch as Jasmine's small eye flick between you and the bed. Cautiously you lay down, one arm curling under your pillow and the other bent at your side as you wings fluff out to cover you. Jasmine then runs back down to you, settling contently into the bend of your arm while Jack lays out next to your thigh. You yawn again, looking around the room, now somewhat brighter due to the unnatural glow both creatures put off. You can feel your heartbeat calm down and your breathes even as you are slowly lulled to sleep, comforted by your two new friends. 

 

********

_ You're tied down to the bed, body completely bare and laid out like an offering before Boss. It of course was not, and you would much prefer to be laying in your cell or being beat by one of his men, but Boss had decided on a new punishment for you. He stood at the edge of the bed, looking over you with a small smirk on his face. Your hands were wrapped around the rough ropes securing your wrists in place and no matter how hard you pulled, they refused to come undone. He walks up to your side and you strain you head to follow his movements, even though it puts your head at a horribly crooked angle. You watch him fearfully, whimpering as he runs a hand down your bare arm. Tears well in your eyes, though you don't allow them to overflow. At the sharp crack of his hand slapping across yourself you can't resistant and a choked cry escapes your lips. Boss smiles down at you, pressing firmly against one of the wounds you had on your arm, one of the many you had received only a week ago. You bite your tongue as his sharp nails dig into the wound, forcing it to reopen and blood to flow freely down your arm.  _

 

_ Boss's hand suddenly flies to your neck, wrapping around it with a vise-like grip. You feebly try to swallow, but his too tight fingers block the movement, causing you to almost choke. He shifts his grip, no longer cutting off your air but forcing open your jaw. His shoves his semi-calloused rough hands in your mouth as tears begin to stream down your face. He kneels on the bed, suddenly hovering over you and he straddles your waist. You shake your head the entire time, but he nods, smiling down at you with malice. "Yes," he whispers, leaning to your ear. "I bet you going to be good for me, aren't you pet?" He laughs deeply, retrieving his hand only to slap you harshly across the face once more. You release a scream, and it isn't the only time that night you do.  _

 

******

 

A hand is gently cupping the side of your face as you eyes fly open, a scream stilled on your lips. Gaze searching wildly around the room, it softens as you see Newt's frightened and concerned expression. Looking around you bed you find both Jasmine and Jack standing close to you and watching you apprehensively. At the end of the bed stands Dougal, the Demiguise who Newt had introduced you to earlier as part of the tour. He studies you worriedly as well, large wide eyes tracking your every movement. You can feel your face stained with tears, but you're not actively crying as you look down at your own hands clasped in your lap. When you look back up at Newt and see the almost heart-broken look on his face, you completely break down, allowing all the tears and sobs which you had mostly contained over the years to rush out of you. Newt gently wraps you in a hug, shushing you quietly as he rubs your back. 

 

You finally blink you eyes open to find Dougal standing next to you, multiple handkerchiefs held out to you in offering. You give him a small smile, but the sight renews your tears. The poor thing was concerned and truly cared about you and he couldn't even properly talk to you! It wasn't something you had felt in quite some time, being cared for, but as you take in all four of them, Newt, Jasmine, Jack, and Dougal, you realize they all really care for you. 

 

You concentrate on your breathing, forcing yourself to take large, deep breaths as you calm yourself down. Newt notices this, slowly unwrapping himself from your body and sitting back to watch you. After a few more deep breathes you manage to look him in the eye, though you're not completely surprised when he drops the contact in favor of looking slightly to the left of you. You don't take is as a personal offense, no. You had saw the way he had previously acted with the others and you had seen him do the same to them. If anything, he actually kept your gaze longer and more often, though you figured you were simply making it up. Still, the thought warmed you internally and you couldn't wipe off the small, shy smile on your lips. 

 

"Nightmare?" Newt inquires, breaking your thoughts. You nod, looking down once more, almost ashamed of it. How had he even know? Had you screamed loud enough to wake him while he was outside of the case? Surely not. Newt clears his throat, glancing at the wall to your side before assuming his stare at the one behind you. "I used to get them a lot too, frankly I still have them quite often. Probably more often than normal. Jack and Jasmine were nearby and got Dougal, who rattled the case until I awoke." Ah, will that did make much more sense and reassured you heavily, though you still hated you had disturbed his sleep. "I immediately came down, and when I saw it was you... Are you alright?" You nod a little too quickly, putting on your most reassuring smile as you do so. You can see his doesn't quite believe you, but he accepts the lie anyway, mostly likely not wanting to put you on the spot. As if you could really answer or tell him anyway. "Well, um, do you want to try to go back to sleep? It's nowhere near morning, a little early to get up for good." 

 

You bite your lip hard, fearing the idea of sleep, and by extension nightmares, but you didn't want to bother him too much. You had already taken up too much of his time as it was and you were surprised he wasn't making a move to throw you out already. He begins to stand, turning to leave and you suddenly panic, reaching out and latching onto his sleep-shirt sleeve. It's almost the same scene as when you had met and he tried to leave, but so much seemed so much more different now. You scoot across the bed, making room for two as best you could. You gingerly pat beside you, a question in your eyes as you force yourself to look at him. He tilts his head, watching you closely, "You want me to... sleep with you?" His face immediately blushes when he realizes what he said and you have to look away, too embarrassed to keep contact with him. "I-i mean, I mean you want me to lay with you? Er, no, that doesn't sound quite right either... Just, share a bed?" 

 

Nodding you lay down on your stomach, stretching your wings before pulling them close to your body, ensuring all of you was on one side of the bed. Very slowly Newt slides into the bed on the opposite side of you, watching you the entire time. Jack and Jasmine both run up your body, Jack snuggling into your bodies and Jasmine curls in a ball near your face. After a pause another dip in the bed signals Dougal climbing onto the bed as well, sitting at the head and watching over all of you. A small smile falls on your face as you realize how quickly you are becoming accustomed to all of his creatures and, well, Newt himself. Your thoughts are much more peaceful as you fall asleep, and this time your past doesn't come back to haunt you. 

  
  



	9. Meeting Mr. Graves

Finally, waking up  _ isn't  _ a fearful or nervous event for you. There's a firm arm wrapped around your waist, but it doesn't scare you and you instead snuggle into the body pressed at your side. Blinking your eyes open, you admire Newt's lax sleeping face. He looks so peaceful in his slumber, you don't even register you are more or less laying on him. He is one his back, his sleep shirt thoroughly rumpled from sleeping. You are on your stomach, half way on top of him. One arm of his is wrapped around you and yours is curled on his. Jasmine is in a ball, burrowed down in the croak of your arm on Newt's chest and Jack is laid out in the crack formed by your two bodies. Dougal is still in the bed, half propped up on the bed rest and he murmurs in his sleep. You huff a laugh under your breath at the sight of him, and you smile fondly at Newt. 

 

And you suddenly realized you were practically laying on his chest, pressing up against him. Your face turns completely red, nearly mortified at the idea. Not to mention your wings were embracing him, one wrapped around him and the other dangling limply off the side of the bed. You shift your wings first, moving them with patience off of him as to not to wake him. But before you move any farther, a knocks sound throughout the case, three sharp raps to notify you of a visitor. Dougal stirs, large eyes blinking open as he yawns at you. You love how nearly human he acts, even though he falls short, and you find his little human-like quirks endearing. But the knocks cause you to frown, not sure of who is knocking on the case. What if something was wrong? Newt stirs at the noise, a small frown forming on his otherwise peaceful face. You freeze slightly, allowing a pause before you worm your way out of the bed. He frowns heavily at the loss of you, reaching around and grabbing the pillow you had been laying on before. He wrapped around it, curling into it in an oh-so-adorable way. You smile at him, turning to answer the case door. A small hand tugs at your dress and you turn to face Dougal. He looks up at you, straighten out his arms for you to hold him. You gladly compil, holding out an arm as Newt had instructed you to do. Dougal climbs up you, wrapping his arms around you neck and holding onto you as you support him underneath. Humming to yourself you cast one last glance at Newt before heading to the case door. 

 

Climbing up the ladder is more difficult than you had imagined, especially while holding onto Dougal, but you manage. Slowly pushing open the lid you peer out it with fear, worried as to who was knocking. But it was only Queenie, smiling down at you with her ever present cheerfulness. "Hey, sweetie! I assume Newt is down there as well?" she asks, holding a hand out to help you up. Climbing out of the case you don't even realize you are still holding onto Dougal, though you do make sure to close the case after yourself. At Queenie's question a picture of Newt sleeping pops in your head, and you know without a doubt she can see it, as she becomes slightly flustered. "Oh, how adorable. I thought he had started out the night in the guest room though. He doesn't seem to like it too much, as he's always sneaking out of bed, but whatever makes him happy I guess." In between her words you send thoughts of your nightmare, although you attempt to hide what the nightmare actually consisted of. 

 

Of course you can't hide it from Queenie and her eyes suddenly begin watering. She shakes her head, wrapping you quickly in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry. No one should ever have to go through something like that. Especially not you." She seems to have more to say, but Tina suddenly appears in the doorway, peering at you with an odd expression. 

 

"Hey Queenie, Y/N. I'm about to head to work. Y/N, when do you want to come down to my office? Not to push you or anything, but the sooner we get all of the paperwork done, the sooner we can lock him up for good." You nodded along, though you weren't entirely sure of what she was asking from you. How would you answer the questions? Would Queenie be there as your voice, or someone with the same powers as Queenie. Queenie picked up your confusion, shaking her head at you. 

 

"No, I won't be going with you. Most people don't know about me, and it's easier to keep it that way. But it is a good point - Tina, if she can't talk, how can she answer any question?" She frowned slightly at her sister, who paused to ponder the question. 

 

"Well, why don't we enchant a pen to write out her answers for her? Would that work?" Queenie nodded at the idea, though it puzzled you. Obviously it was magic, but you had little experience with your own magic and you definitely not confident with using others. Your thoughts were drawn to Jasmine and the countless others who had been put through the same thing as you and had no voice to speak up. You had to do this, you had to help them in any way you could, no matter what. Even if it wouldn't be enjoyable for you. 

 

_ Queenie, would Newt be able to come with me? At least stay near me.  _ As you asked the question, thousands of dark memories flashed through your mind, none of which you wanted to face but feared you would have to do so. 

 

"Tina, why don't we wait till Newt gets up? I don't have to head to work for another hour, which will give him plenty of time to do whatever he needs to and I can walk them both down there. I think it'll put everyone at a calmer peace of mind." You smile at Queenie, your fondness for her growing with every word. She was utterly amazing and wanted you to be comfortable without saying you weren't and putting you on the spot. 

 

Tina pauses, then nods once more as she walks to the door. Grabbing up her coat and scarf, she bundles herself up and readies to leave. "I think under the circumstances, that will be fine, but I'll run it by Madam President as soon as I get there. I'm sure she'll let Newt stay with you if it would help you as well?" You hurriedly nod, fearing the thought of being alone and answering questions. You step closer to Queenie, as if afraid she would disappear at this moment, and she immediately wrapped a loose arm around you. Tina rushedly leaves, rushing out the door to head to work and you're left with Queenie in the apartment. 

 

"Hun, are you sure you're up for doing this?" she asks once more, studying your eyes as she asks. You give her a stern nod, squaring your shoulders slightly. It's only then you realize you are still holding onto Dougal. He looks up at you almost worriedly, as if asking you what was wrong. You run a hand over him, trying to prepare yourself for the day ahead. 

 

****************

 

You sit in the stiff metal chair, shifting nervously in it. Your hands are clasped together on top of the metal as well table in front of you and you fiddle with your hands every so often. Newt is sitting next to you, slightly nervous as well though he is trying to act calm to help you. His case is sitting in between the two of you, bound closed with a length of rope. He had of course refused to leave it behind and it was quickly becoming an almost home for you as well, so he had placed it near you. But nothing was helping your nerves. Queenie, Newt, and Tina had all three reassured you everything would be fine. You had done absolutely nothing wrong, so you had nothing to worry about. Newt had even confined his motto with you, 'Worrying only means you'll suffer twice." But you did. Well, worry that is. You were scared if Newt heard of everything that had happened and that you had done under his control he would hate you. He would think you were vile and disgusting, which really, you were. After everything that had happened you were surprised you were still sane, and that was assuming you were-

 

A loud click and the opening of the door behind you alerts you to the presence of others, effectively cutting off your thoughts. You swallow heavily, moving to place your hands under that table in your lap while you force your leg not to bounce. Tina walks in, back stiff and posture straight with a man at her side. They both come and sit down across from you, Tina giving you a small smile which you assumed was also supposed to be comforting. "Hello, Miss Y/N. My name is Privical Graves, I am the Director here and I will be head of your case. You of course know Ms. Goldstein; seeing as you are staying with her, she will be working with me to help you in any way we can. Before we get started with the questions, may I offer you anything?" You immediately shake your head, not sure you could stomach anything at the moment. "I know how nerve-wracking being questioned is and I want to make sure you're comfortable. We can stop at any time if you want a break, alright?" You nod this time, finally looking up from the table to study the man across from you. He was older than you, and the others for that matter, with graying hair on the sides. While right now he came off as friendly, you had no doubt he could be unyielding if need be. On the side of his face a long scar cuts across his flesh, extending from his temple and trailing down to almost the corner of his mouth. Knowing it rude to stare, you shift your eyes away, glancing at Tina for a moment. "Would you be more comfortable if someone conducted the interview?" he asked, frowning slightly, probably having seen you taking in his appearance. You shake your head once more. At this moment you know with certainty, even if you had words to say you wouldn't share them. Mr. Graves suddenly reaches into the bag beside him, pulling out a stack of papers and a quill. "Now, this is a charmed quill. It doesn't need ink and it will write whatever you want it to by you just thinking it, alright? It will also state your answer aloud so everyone can hear." He sets both in the center of the table and you watch as the quill stands on it's own, poised to write. "We'll start with the basics. Can you please state your name?" At his question the quill jumps into action, scrawling out the question in a remarkably neat script. Testing it you push the thought towards the inadament object. 

 

**_Y/N._ ** The voice is not quite monotone, but definitely sounds fake and you instantly hate it. Not only that, but there is no way to hide your answers from Newt- he can hear them as they are written. 

 

"Last name?" You freeze, searching for an answer, but you can't find one. Heck, it was hard enough to remember your first name, much less your last. 

 

**_I don't remember._ ** Mr. Graves frowns at your answer and you shrink back slightly in fear. Sneaking a look out of the corner of your eyes you can see Newt frowning at the paper as well, lips pursed slightly. Great, he already hates your answers and you've only just gotten started.

 

"Right. Well, do you remember where you were born? Parents' names?" You think over the question once more, searching deep in your memories for some kind of answer. A girl pops in your head, one younger than you but somewhat similar in looks. She has bright Y/E/C eyes and similar facial features, but she strangely has pink hair? No, it's changing, now she has golden hair. No, brown. Her identity floods your mind; she had been your sister. You had had a sister and she could change herself, something you couldn't do. You search deeper for a parent figure, but you can only come up with the vague figure of a woman. 

 

**_I don't remember. I'm sorry. I know I had a sister and she could change what she looked like._ **

 

"It's okay, don't worry about it. We'll move on. Do you remember the day you were kidnapped?" 

Mindlessly you rub a hand over the code embedded in your skin, bringing the buried memory to the surface. You had spent almost all of your time trying to forget, because you figured it would be easier that way. But you knew you needed to revisited the past to prevent something happening in the future. Blowing out a puff of air you close your eyes, rewatching the memory as you have the quill write it all out. 

 

**_I'm outside, walking somewhere. To town, I think. We didn't go to town often, because of the wings. My sister is walking beside me, chatting on and on about something, though I can't quite recall what. I'm not really focused on her. I'm looking around, because something feels weird. We get closer to town and there's a loud noise behind both of us. I grab her, turning around, but someone's hands are on me. I shove my sister away from me, telling her to run as something is pressed up against my face. My vision is weird, it's swirling a little. I can hear my sister scream, but I can't really respond. I try to hit the person, but they tie up my arms and legs, throwing me. I hit a metal area hard, and I try to get up, but I'm held down as we're suddenly moving quickly._ **

 

You blink your eyes open, to find all everyone watching you. You shrink farther in on yourself, disliking the attention of having three sets of eyes on you. Your eyes are wet, but you refuse to cry, instead focusing in on your hands once more. Silence fills the room and you dare not to look at anyone, terrified of the hatred you are sure you'll see on their faces. Finally you look up at Newt, shocked to see his eyes wide and watering as well. Seeing you breaks his trace and he looks away, a faint blush brushing his upper cheeks. Right, now he's probably embarrassed to be near you. Who you want to be? You study your lap once more and Graves suddenly clears his throat. "I-I'm so sorry. Do you want to continue-?" 

 

You nod before remembering to push your answers towards the quill.  **_Yes, please._ ** You take a deep breath, still refusing to look up.  **_Let's just get this over with please._ **

 


	10. Interrogation

"Okay, what's the next thing you remember?" Mr. Graves asks, voice trying to be as comforting as possibly. "And please, take your time."  
Right. The next thing I remember is... I woke up, chained to a wall. It was dark and everything was concrete. My normal clothes were gone, replaced with the dress thing and my wings- You stop, shuddering at the thought. Unconsciously you pulled your wings closer around you, wrapping yourself in them. You held onto the fluffy appendages, almost wishing to disappear. My wings were pinned on the wall on either side of me. He came in and I demanded to know what happened to my sister. He smacked me, telling me 'pets shouldn't talk without being spoken to.' I told him where he could shove it and he just smiled. Kept promising to break me in and how I would beg to do whatever he wanted me to. And he did. You stop, unsure if that's a good enough answer or not. You softly carding your hands through your wings, grooming them as the pen spoke for you. Once again there was an almost stunned silence, though this time you decided to continue. They wanted to know everything right?  
He kept on like that for quite some time, coming in and hitting me, trying to break me, but I held out for the longest time. After a week or so, I'm really not sure, he knocked me out once more. When I woke I was strapped down to a operation-like table. They forced my wings underneath me so they would be out of the way. Then he marked me. The serial code on my arm. He started with a tattoo but then he cut it into my arm. I guess decided that wasn't good enough and decided to burn it there. Honestly, I'm surprised you can even tell what the code is, with everything Boss did to it. You look over the code, studding it yourself and running a finger over it. It had healed over, though it had loved to reopen it many times over. And honestly you were truly surprised you could still tell what it read, but even if you couldn't you had long since memorized it. It was one thing he had had you do as part of your 'training.'  
You shuffled in your seat, wings forming a safe haven for yourself. You hated realized you were crying until a tear dropped from your chin onto the scar. A hand suddenly reached out, grasping your own and you imminently jump at the touch. You look up, startled, and find Newt looking down at you with tears streaming down his own face. His raises his other hand, wiping off his face as he scoots his chair closer to yours. You lean into him a little, glancing up to look at Mr. Graves. He is watching you with remorseful eyes, undoubtedly sorry he is making you relive everything.  
Tina opened her mouth, searching for words to say, but closed it before any came out. She had brought a folder and a pile of papers with him into the room and she now shuffled them, looking for something to do. After a moment she had composed herself and decided to ask a question, "Is there anything else you can tell us?"  
Yeah, once Boss 'broke' me, he had me do jobs for him. Make potions or work spells. I have powers, but I don't know much about them. My magic- it works by me just focusing in on things. I move things or make something appear by just willing it to happen. I don't understand it, but it works. The more I did and the better I was, the less I was hit. You squeeze Newt's hand, thinking over what you had told Queenie the previous night. She had said you needed to tell them, but it was the last thing you wanted to do right now. Though really, all you wanted to do was crawl down in Newt's case and forget about the rest of the world. But you knew you couldn't do that, so you took a deep breath and pushed another thought out. He had me do other... things as well.  
You couldn't force yourself to actually say it, so you left it open. You knew Tina or Mr. Graves one would ask you and you would answer, but you just couldn't say it unprompted. "What kind of other things, Miss Y/N?" Graves asks softly, guessing the answer before you could think it. "Sexual things?" he quietly prompted when you gave no answer. You couldn't answer. You literally could not force it out, and you felt near bursting. You thought about Newt's reaction, or Tina's for that matter. You were filthy! They would hate you and want you out of their sights as soon as possible no doubt. Shakily you push a feeble thought to the pen, surprised it even catches it.  
Could I speak with Mr. Graves please? Alone? The thought of telling a stranger alone was much more appealing than saying it with Newt in the room. He was sitting tense at you side, awaiting your answer silently. At your request he studied you, searching over your features as you tried to shrink in on yourself.  
"Yes, that's quite alright. Tina and I will be standing right outside if you need us. Dougal will be waiting for you as well," Newt said, voice soft but thick from crying. Tina stood quickly, Newt removing his hand from your own and grabbing the case instead. They left, but Newt gave you one last look as he did. Without his presence you almost left lost and you had to remind yourself you asked for this. You had asked to be left alone with Mr. Graves. You pulled your legs closely to you, wrapping you arms around them and then your wings around your entire body. Resting your head on your knees, you stared at the pen.  
"You know we don't have to do this if you don't want to." Mr. Graves is quiet, voice barely above a whisper but you can hear him perfectly in the silent room.  
Yes, I do. And yes, I mean... that. It was one of Boss's favorite punishments. And- and sometimes he would let his clients have me as well. You watched the pen as it wrote, focusing on the flow of the motion rather than the words themselves. You zooned out, recounting everything you remembered and answered all of Mr. Graves' questions.  
*************  
Almost 4 hours later, everything that had happened to you was successfully written down on paper and Graves was filing it away as well as searching up every single thing they could possibly charge the man with. It was quite an extensive list.  
You stood from the chair, rolling your back and hearing it pop as you did. Graves rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder as he leads you out of the room and down a series of hallways. On the other side of the double doors Graves push open is a bench which Newt's tall frame is slouched on. His case is sitting beside him and Dougal is out, sitting on the case and leaning on Newt. He looks up at you as you exit, eyes brightening in excitement as he sees you. Newt jumps up as soon as the doors close behind you and runs to you, wrapping you firmly in a hug. Your first response is to tense up, but you allow yourself to relax and wrap your own arms around him. Your bury you face in his chest, face red and puffy from crying though you have no more tears. Dougal comes to your side, tugging at your dress and you waist no time in scooping him up in your arms. Dougal holds onto you tightly, mindfully of your wings as he hugs onto you. You turn your head slightly to smile at him, pressing a small kiss to the top of his head. No one says anything but you can feel Newt nod to Mr. Graves and hear the click of his heels as he walks away. "Do you want to go into the case and I'll take us back to Tina's?" you hear him softly whisper to you.  
You nod to him, holding Dougal as he opens the suitcase and allows you to step in. You take Dougal back to his nest sitting him there and sitting down beside him for a moment. A small chirping brings your attention to Jack and Jasmine, who are now running to you from another part of the case. Jack sits in your lap while Jasmine takes her place on your shoulder. You sit there in silence with them for a while before a few mooncalves waddle over to you, seeking attention. You huff a near silent laugh as they hop to you, pushing in front of one another. You clear your throat, coughing a little before attempting to say a word. "Hello?" you croak, voice rough and harsh, cracking halfway through the word. You concentrate and create a glass of water for yourself before you try again. The mooncalves seem undisturbed by you rough voice and talk back to you with little noises. Finding some confidence you practice other words, though keeping one ear out for Newt. Leaning against the tree and practicing talking you feel a content air fall over you. You're going to be fine.


	11. Fly High

A few days pass with no problem. You and Newt work well together, Newt teaching you to care for the animals and you learning to work around and with all of their needs. It's... amazing. This is the best you have felt in as long as you can remember. You both shared a bed and the physical contact was one of your favorite things of all. You had been robbed of all loving touch for so long, it was a relief to finally have someone like Newt. You were slowly becoming less afraid, you didn't flinch at every single noise like you used to, and you didn't force your wings to take up the smallest possible space, which you had trained them to do for so long. You were slowly speaking too. You still never uttered a word around any person, but you practiced your speech on some of the animals and they never complained in the slightest. While Newt was there for you, you were also there for Newt. One of the other animals Newt had rescued from  _ Boss _ had passed away, his injuries too great to recover. The death hit him hard and you comforted him the same he had you when you woke up from a nightmare. Holding the other through their tears while murmuring reassurances. You were still terrified of  _ Boss _ , but you had learned through Tina that he was going on trial tomorrow. You wouldn't even be required to go because of all of the evidence they had against him, which you found as a large weight off of your shoulders.

You walked over to Frank's enclosure, stretching your wings widely as you approach. They were healing nicely, thanks to Newt and his various healing potions and spells. If there was one thing Newt knew, it was how to heal. They had almost completely rehealed, and you were hopeful to fly soon, an idea which truly excited you. You ran up to Frank, running a hand over his beak as you nuzzled him affectionately.  _ Hey Frank. How are you doing, buddy? _

**_Hello, Y/N. I'm fine. Can you fly yet?_ **

You breathlessly giggled as you watched his excitement. He had been wanting to fly with you for the longest time, constantly worrying over your wings to ensure they were healing correctly and judging on how long until you could fly again.  _ No, I'm sorry. The tips are still marred a little, but they will be better in no time, I promise.  _ You gave him a small kiss on the beak as Newt rushed over to you, hair more disarrayed than normal.

"Uh, Y/N? Could you help me a moment? A Kester got close to the Occamy nest and now everyone is upset. I got ahold of the little bugger and got him back where he belongs, but I was hoping you could help calm everyone down?" You smiled, nodding in agreement. The Kester was one of the recent rescues and he hadn't quite settled down yet. Not that you blame him, going from the dark and dangerous cell to Newt's fantastic case was quite the scene change and it took time to get used to. You just couldn't get through to him that it wasn't kill or be killed here. You both make your way to the Occamys, clicking little noises at them as you greet them. You immediately speak to the eldest and, with her help, you are able to settle everyone back into their nests. Newt looks relieved, thanking you profoundly. "Y/N, how are you healing, may I ask? Do you feel okay?" You hold up a thumbs up, unsure of how else to tell him you're okay. While you were getting better at speaking and practice definitely makes perfect, you were still terrified to speak in front of anyone. Your voice was still slightly raspy and you hated it. Compared to Queenie's, you were practically a man. Every time you even thought of speaking up in front of Newt you would freeze, throat closing up to the point you couldn't speak even if you wanted to.

Newt frowned slightly at your answer, obviously wanting to say more, but undecided if he should. Finally after a few more moments as walking quietly together he spoke. "Y/N... I don't wish to push you or anything, but have you tried speaking? From looking your vocal chords over, you should be able to speak, even just a little. Vocal chords are a muscle, and yours are extremely weak. That said, the only way to strengthen them is to use them. Little by little you will slowly regain your speaking. Have you tried?" You froze, horror plain on your face. He couldn't make you speak, he couldn't. It was the one thing  _ Boss _ had always punished you for, and most harshly as well. He had threatened on more than one occasion that he was going to rip your throat out or make you mute if you spoke again. You were to be seen not heard in his eyes, unless of course you were crying. Crying and whimpering were his only exceptions because he enjoyed drawing the painful noises out of you. He enjoyed watching you cry as he beat you or used you. He got off on it. It was the only noise you had ever been allowed to make without receiving a punishment, and the thought of speaking now made you freeze, bracing for some sort of impact from just thinking of talking. You couldn't help it, it had been beat into you; no one wanted to hear your voice, so why subject others to the torture of listening to it?

You flinched away from Newt still somewhat froze. Even though Newt had told you repeatedly you wouldn't be hit here, you couldn't help but think of what he would do if you made him truly mad. The longer you were away from  _ that _ place, the more you remembered of your childhood. You had had the most loving and caring mother in the world, but your father was more stand-offish. You don't remember him ever actually hitting you or your siblings, but you could remember him yelling at you for doing something wrong. Every once of you was scared Newt would turn to doing the same thing. Yelling or hitting you because you were doing something wrong. So one part of you was terrified of talking because of  _ him _ , while the other was scared of upsetting Newt in way he would retaliate.

Seeing you, Newt immediately stopped, slowly stepping forward and stopping when he was you flinch away once more. "Y/N, it's okay. I'm not mad, I just want the best for you. I just want to help you, and if you don't want to talk, you don't have to talk. Okay?" You nodded hesitantly, the dark thoughts still foremost in your mind, but you allowed Newt to step forward, gently cupping your elbow. "Want to go see what is for dinner?" Newt asks, suddenly changing topic. You nodded, deeply grateful Newt had let it be. Jasmine chirped in your pocket, her favorite place to stay as of the late. She loved to stay near you, never straying from your side for long. She was becoming your Pickett, who you had discovered had attachment issues to a certain Newt Scamander. You reached into your pocket, allowing her to climb up your arm and settle on your shoulder. You and Newt slowly made your way up the ladder, opening the case into the Goldstein's spare bedroom. The two of you didn't always eat dinner with them, and sometimes Newt even cooked for everyone. The latter didn't occur too often; Newt had learned to eat just about anything and not everything he made was enjoyed by the others. You still ate more minimal amounts, barely eating what was given to you and certainly not getting seconds. Everyone had encouraged you to eat more, Queenie not so subtly adding more food to your plate, but you still couldn't bring yourself to eat as much as the others. Still, the regular meals, if in small amounts, did help a lot with your malnourishment. While you were still underweight, you were filling out ever so slightly. Your sharp bones had somewhat curling, not quite rounded, but getting there. Even if it was a small step, it was definitely in the right direction and it was a lot in your eyes.

Queenie had made a wonderful soup and a fresh loaf of bread, all set out wonderfully on the table. With a  swish of her wand, the ladle self-serving each bowl and the bread broke off by itself and a piece went to each person. You realized your slice was slighter larger and your bowl was slightly more filled than the others. The thought in itself sickened you. You absolutely hated the idea of wasting food, especially when others could eat it, but you could only eat so much before you were so full the thought of eating more made you sick. It made you feel pressured and horrible, because you were  _ lucky _ to have this much, but you still couldn't force yourself to eat it. You kept these thoughts skillfully closed off though, away from the prying mind of Queenie's. You loved her to death and you were so grateful she was willing to be your voice for you, but you had learned quickly to hide certain thoughts from her so as not to overwhelm her. At least that's what you told yourself; it may not be specifically true, but it helped you sleep at night. Well, at least that wasn't the reason you were not getting sleep at night.

Everyone sat down, you carefully guarding your thoughts, but still trapped in your own mind. Everyone began chatting animatedly while you remained silent; more silent than usual as you would typically send thoughts to Queenie to rely to the rest of the group. Tina was the first to speak up, "Y/N? You're sorta quiet tonight, are you okay?" Tina immediately blushed, embarrassed by her words. Newt cast her a glare, furious she had said something like that, especially after how you had reacted to his suggestion. You swallow thickly, glancing shyly at Queenie as you send a thought to her.

_ Please tell them I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind. I'm okay.  _ And if that wasn't the biggest lie you've ever told, you don't know what was.

"She says she's fine. Just has a lot on her mind." Everyone silently accepted the answer, conversation slowly returning. Every so often Queenie would look at you concerned, watch you for a while, then resume with whatever she had been doing. You stirred the food around in your bowl, dipping the bread in every so often and munching on it little by little. You had barely made it a quarter way through before you were full. You pushed it around some more, feeling terrible about not finishing your food, but at the same time, you felt as if you couldn't. Everyone was finishing up and you still had over a half of your bowl left and Queenie finally spoke up. "Honey, don't you like it? Aren't you hungry?"

_ No, it's alright. I'm full. I'm sorry I didn't eat it all.  _ Even if it was just a thought, it was mumbled and you could practically see Queenie straining to hear.

"Are you sure? There's plenty here, you never have to worry about food while you're here okay? Eat up!" she said encouragingly, nodding to your bowl. You glanced around nervously around the table, seeing the others eyes on you. Newt scooted closer slightly, giving you a shy smile.

_ I don't want to eat... _ The thought was barely a whisper.

"Honey, you have to. Don't be embarrassed or anything." Queenie looked concerned and Newt was starting to get worried. It felt like everything was building up and you didn't have and outlet for it. You slowly pushed your bowl away, standing up slightly, almost tripping over as you did. Your face was burning red, and you needed to get away. "Y/N?" Queenie asked uncertainly.

_ I... I just can't okay? I'm sorry. I just can't eat. I'm full. I know I don't eat enough and I'm so so so sorry, but I just  _ can't _! I can see you adding more food to my plate than others and I feel terrible that I'm wasting food, but I physically can not make myself eat anymore.  _ Your wings flexed in and out rapidly, fluttering in your uncertainty and unease. Jasmine chirps on your shoulder, staring Queenie down. She visibly shrinks back, head down a little.  _ Just... just give me some time. Please.  _ She nodded and you can tell she feels terrible for pushing you. It makes you feel even worse and you just need to get away. Your wings flex out once more before wrapping around yourself in an almost protective stance. Before you do anything else wrong you back away. Newt is at your side almost immediately, caring eyes searching your face, always slightly off from eye contact. He looks to Queenie for help, or maybe translate.

"Uh, she's full. She wants some time. I'm so sorry." Newt gives a little nod, looking back to you.

"It's okay, if you need some time. Healing is an ongoing process and it's completely fine if it takes a while, everyone works at there own speed. Just always remember, we will always be here for you for whatever you need. Alright?" You nod tears in your eyes as you take in everyone around the room. Tina is next closest behind Newt and Queenie is standing next to her. You lean into Newt, opening an arm for the other two to join in a group hug. Queenie rushes in next to me, Tina joining in the middle. My wings flutter around them, curling around them on the tips.

_ Queenie?  _ you ask tentatively.

"Yeah, sweetie?" she responded, turning slightly to look at you.

_ Can you tell Newt I want to try to fly with Frank? Queenie nods excitedly, squealing. _

"Newt! She wants to fly!"

"Well, then let's fly!"

***********

Newt rushed all of us down to the case, the only place you would be able to safely fly. Newt had assured you all there would be plenty of room once you were in the sky. He had, of course, made enough room so Frank could fly around freely. Once you got down though, a wave of uncertainty washed over you. You breathed a deep breath, trying to calm yourself as you fiddled with the end of your dress. You imminently walked over to Frank, running a hand over his neck to calm yourself.  _ Hey there, want to try flying?  _ He chirped excitedly, nodding his large head up and down. He shifted his wings, eagerly leaping up into the air. You smiled shyly at him before glancing at the others nervously. A part of you was scared, but the other was remarkedly excited. You barely remembered the last time you had flown, but you know you loved it. Gathering all of your inner courage you leap into the air, your powerful wings snapping out and catching you from falling. You take a moment to silently thank Queenie for having you try pants and for wearing some under your pants today. You flex your back, muscles shifting and rolling, wing joints almost protesting from being dormant so long. You suddenly swoop forward, moving in a gentle arc upwards until you suddenly flip around, moving up and back the way you came, but now upside down. You twist, pulling to a halt in front of Frank who is watching you carefully, protectively almost. Flying comes with a rush, partly because there is an element of danger to it. Your wings are still not fully healed, or you could hit an air pocket wrong and it could send you spiraling, but one look at him and all of the fear was erased. This huge, magnificent creature would catch you because he cared for you. And though he was much larger than you, if he were to fall, you would at least attempt to catch him as well. It was nice, and you were overjoyed at the idea. Was this how Newt felt with all of the creatures? No wonder he was a magizoologist.

An idea popped in your head and you opened the link between you and Frank to send him the message. He tilted his head and you minisculely nodded, waiting for Frank to do the same. As soon as he did, you both took off into the air, soaring to impossible heights. You could only imagine what Newt and the others saw; most likely nothing more than a dot. You suddenly tucked you wings in, wrapping them around your body. Like a bullet you dropped, spreading down to the ground below. You didn't make a sound, but Frank began squawking, a storm brewing above himself. The ground was coming closer and you could see the panic on everyone's face when they saw you falling. Sure, it was cruel, but it was kinda funny. Newt as panicking the most, yelling and searching to something to catch you. You were only 50 or so feet away and Newt wide, fearful eyes were watching you as you dropped. At only 15 feet from the ground, your wings flared, pulling you to a quick stop and pushing you back up in the sky. You could hear Newt's breath of relief and you laughed loudly, energy coursing through you as to made your way across the sky in tight loops and elegant swirls. This, this was almost pure joy. You laughed again, wide smile showing off all of your teeth and you let out a cheerful whoop of happiness. It was some time before you came down.

Even once your feet were on the ground, your sprits were miles high. You hadn't felt this amazing in, God's know when. You felt so... You felt alive. For once in your life you were truly alive. You suddenly knew, coming here with Newt, that was when your life really began. Everything in the past didn't count, it was all miniscule and Newt helped you overcome it. With Newt, you never had to worry about being hit, or wonder when your next meal was because you knew he would take care of you.

************************

It was later now and everyone had gone off to bed. It had become habit for you and Newt to sleep next to one another as having someone next to you helped keep nightmares at bay. Or maybe it was the fact it was Newt beside you. Either way, you didn't complain. You were laying in bed, Tina and Queenie having gone to bed in their apartments already, but Newt still hadn't came to bed. A faint smile was still on your face due to your flying experience, but you were tossing and turning, the empty space in the bed beside you unnerving you. So you waited for him to turn in for the night. And waited. And waited some more. Finally you couldn't take it, sitting up with a near silent huff. Jasmine, who had been laying next to your head, blinked her eyes open, yawning heavily at you. You wrapped the blanket around yourself, standing up. She immediately scurried to climb your arm, nuzzling the side of your face before settling in on your shoulder. Jack was probably around Newt, wherever he was. While Jack did spend more time with Newt, Newt didn't bring him every as you did Jasmine. Jack did hang around you often though, playing with Jasmine at every chance he got possible. You and Newt both thought they were adorable together. You had caught Jack more than once courting Jasmine, though half the time Jasmine would ignore him or push him off. It was so adorable and you were just waiting for them to have kits.

With the blanket wrapped around you and Jasmine on your shoulder, you set off in search of Newt. As well as all of the separate animal habitats, Newt had made himself some rooms. He had the shed, of course, where the ladder went directly down to, and he had the lean on beside it where he kept wounded animals while he nursed them and slowly introduced them to others. He also had his bedroom, which was a jumbled mess including a small drawer for clothes and a desk. Next to his bedroom he had his official office/living room area. It was more closed off, so he could work in piece and it was where he was writing his book. It was furnished with another desk, a couple chairs, and multiple bookshelves brimming with books on almost every animal imaginable. The office was the first place you went to look for him, figuring he had gotten caught up with writing his book, and you were unsurprised when you were right. He was sitting at the desk, quill in hand, scribbling down words impossibly fast. It almost seemed as if the words were trapped inside of him and he had to rush to get them out. You saw him pause, stopping to sketch out something. He didn't notice when you entered, nor when you softly walked up to him. It was only when Jasmine jumped from your shoulder to a book lying close to him, did he jump.

 

"Oh! Y/N! I didn't know you were still up. Are you okay?" You nodded absent mindedly, peering over his shoulder to look at his book, one of the pictures catching your eye. It was of a wing, eerily similar to yours and you scan over the words on the page. You had been taught to read as a child, your mother's kind words and patience's going over them with her children almost every night. It had been a trait you had nearly forgotten during your time there, but you had quickly retaught yourself with books of Newt's.

_ Their wings are absolutely extraordinary. From what I have saw, they are able to completely re heal, even pieces caught off of them. The specimen I rescued had her wings slashed through and cut off on the ends and now, almost a month later, she was able to fly again. I had been worried she wouldn't, as most winged creatures are unable to grow back parts or fly without the tips, but she was able to. It leaves me wondering if they would be able to completely regrow wings, given the time. They fly similar to other winged creatures, thought more gracefully. They are able to make sharper turns and have better control, at least she does. She dropped from what I can only guess was a few hundred feet from the ground and was able to catch herself and fly away only 15 or 10 feet from the ground, a remarkable feat considering how fast she was falling. She also showed the ability to fly backwards and upside down, which I have not seen many do. _

 

His words were cut off there,  and you stood staring at the page for a while longer. He was writing about you? Was this for his book? He suddenly cleared his throat, shyly looking up at you. "I'm sorry, I should have asked you before I wrote about you, but your species is so unknown and practically extinct according to most. Next to nothing is known about your kind as your so exclusive. You can look over everything before I publish the book, if you like. Or I can take it out all together..." He trailed off, head bent down somewhat and face bright red. You look over the desk, searching for the quill Graves had given you. Once the interview was over, he had offered it to you for as long as you needed so you could communicate with Newt and the others in a way besides using Queenie. Finding it as a blank sheet of parchment, you set it to writing.

_ Don't worry. It's fine; I'm flattered honestly. I can help you look over everything and answer any questions you have if you like?  _ His head jerked up as he nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, yes. That would be wonderful if you don't mind. Here, pull up the chair," he said, pointing to a large wing-backed chair in the corner. You scooted it over, curling up in a ball once in it, blanket still wrapped around you. You sat there, watching Newt talk animatedly, stopping to ask you questions. You patiently answered them all, watching with a smile how excited he was. It was absolutely adorable to you. You feel your eyes getting heavier and Newt was relaxing more in his chair too. You yawned widely, bringing a hand covered by blanket up to cover it. At your actions Newt stopped for a moment, simply sitting there staring at you.

_ What? _ you penned after a moment, slightly self-conscious with all the attention.

"Nothing," he murmured, still staring at you. "You're just so cute when you do that." You both paused, seeming to realize exactly what he said at the same time. He blushed faintly, a light red dusting on the top of his cheeks.

_ Thank you,  _ you penned after a moment. You paused once more before pushing the next thought to the quill.  _ You're horribly cute when you blush. _ This only made him blush harder and he seemed to consider his words for a while before sharing them.

"May I kiss you?" The question was soft, almost a whisper, but you heard it loud and clear. You slowly nodded, uncertain of yourself. He leaned forward, over the arm of you chair and softly pressed his lips against yours. It was soft, sweet, and innocence, but to you, it meant the world. He slowly sat back, watching you with a smile on his face. You smiled back happily, cocooned in your blanket of warmth, with a fuzzy feeling spread all through your body. You both sat and simply smiled at each other until you finally drifted off to sleep. Newt gently picked you up, carrying you and Jasmine to the bed and laying beside you. With a simple kiss to your forehead, he fell asleep beside you. And that night, thoughts of him chased away any bad thoughts.

******************

You woke up that morning to a pounding on the case. Newt woke up at the same time, making sure you were there before he shot up and run to the case door. You rushed behind him, leaving a confused Jasmine still in the bed. Throwing open the lid Newt hurried to step out, you right on his heals. "Queenie!" he exclaimed as you pulled yourself out, "What in the world is the matter?!" Tina was pacing the floor just behind Queenie, who had been knocking on the case.

"Newt, Y/N," Tina says, stopping and turning to you both. "Mr. Roldenburg had escaped." You frowned, trying to remember who that was. Suddenly it occurred to you. That was the name Mr. Graves had used to talk about Boss. Boss had escaped. 

 


	12. NEWT!

You could hardly hear what anyone was saying, their words distance and insignificant. You couldn't believe what you had just heard. He had escaped? How had he gotten out? The reality of it all suddenly sat in. He had escaped. He could come after you now and take you back. He could take you again.

You hadn't even realized you had ceased breathing until everything went black and you’re dropped to the floor like dead weight.

**********

You woke smiling, yawning as you slowly blinked open your eyes. The bed you were in was much smaller than you had grown accustomed to, and there was no Newt at your side as per normal. Frowning you looked around, finding all three of your friends staring all you. They are all talking rapidly to one another, Newt looking more cross than you ever seen him. As soon as he noticed you were awake, he silenced the others, his harsh face softened and caring now as he knelt beside the bed. “Y/N?” he asks quietly, as if you were about to break. You nodded, confused as to why you were in… Queenie’s? bed and why he was so concerned about while energy only a moment ago. His anger scared you, a side of him you had rarely seen. He was close to yelling at sweet little Queenie, and if she hadn’t done anything wrong and received harsh words from him, what where to happen to you if you actually did do something wrong. He gently reached up as if to cup the back your head, but he removed it when he saw you flinch. “Are you alright?” You nod again, still confused. But abruptly you remembered, remembered why you were asleep, or rather why you had fainted. Boss, he had escaped. He was a free and, he could… He could find you and take you back.

You shook at the thought, afraid of what he could do to you. If he did find you... this would be his worst punishment yet, you could count on that. Tears welled in your eyes are you cover your face in your hands. Newt shushes you softly, moving his hand up to remove yours. You allow him, feeling absolutely weak and pathetic. "Y/N," he speaks softly to get your attention. You blink rapidly, looking down at him. "I swear, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, alright? And Tina and Queenie will as well, right?"

"Of course we will!" Queenie exclaims, rushing forward. "Darling I will do my best to ensure no one very touches you again. It makes me so mad it got out!" She did, indeed look mad, which frightened you. You hated being so weak, but their anger almost scared you more than him, if not only because it was here with you right now and he was not.

Newt immediately switches the topic though, "Do you want to go down to the case? I'm sure Jasmine is very worried and Dougal would like to visit you." You nod your head, standing up as Newt does. You make your way down to the case, trying to forget the horrible thoughts that are plaguing you currently.

******

An entire week passes by in a flash. There is no trouble, no word from  _ him _ , not even a single sighting of him anywhere. Everyone is tense, waiting and worrying for the next shoe to drop, and even the animals are starting to feel it. While you and Newt do your best to keep all negative energy away from then, they aren't dumb and can tell when something is wrong. You work yourself harder than ever with the animals, hoping to completely forget about the situation, wishing it would just go away. But it's always there, in the back of your mind. The worry of where  _ he  _ is, what  _ he's  _ doing, wondering when  _ he _ will come for you. You feel in an almost constant state of fear.

Your nightmares are back full swing as well, leaving you less and less rested each day that passes. Newt next to you didn't help in the slightest, only waking him up in the process as well. He always says he wasn't really sleeping anyway, but you can't help but feel the bags under his eyes are your fault. God, it all your fault.

Graves had visited you more than one now, checking on you and warding the apartment as best as he could. They talked about him behind your back which frustrated you to no end, but you had immediately learned how to eavesdrop. Apparently, the man who had held you was working with a Grindalwald, though you had no idea who he was. You couldn't recall ever hearing that name before in your life. But he had done something to Mr. Graves and Newt had made him very cross for some reason. Graves was worried he would find your connection to Newt and decide to use you as revenge on him.

While you didn't completely understand everything because no one would tell you anything to your face, you did pick up on the gravidity of the situation. Of course you did, it was your life after all, and you could certainly see  _ him _ killing you if he got his hands on you once more. It wasn't even a doubt in your mind anymore. If he found you, which you were sure he would, he would kill you. At this point the only doubts you had were when and if he would hurt your friends in the process.

You finally ventured out of the case at near midnight. You were having terrible nightmares again and you hated to disturb Newt. The entire apartment is silent as you make your way to the kitchen, making yourself a hot chocolate. Queenie would make some every now and then and hers were absolutely amazing, which you had messaged to her and she had taught you to make some for yourself. Yours weren't nearly as good as hers, but they weren't bad either. You make the coco as silently as possible, not wishing to wake up Tina or Queenie. They deserved their sleep too, both stressed over you and Tina with her job. Stirring everything together in your mug, you blow the top, watching the steam curl and twist in the air with a small smile on your face. A yawn over takes you, and you decide to sit down and pray you can sleep at least a few hours tonight. You turn to the living room, your favorite spot beside the window in mind. On nights you couldn’t sleep you would spend your time sitting and watching people outside. It was too much of a risk for you to leave the safety of your comforting abode. Though the case was large and seemed to go on for miles upon miles, it was still a cage. A wondrously furnished and loving cage, but a cell nonetheless. And you had spent too much of your life in a cell. Though you knew you couldn’t leave, watching others out the window gave you hope that you could one day do the same. You wouldn’t be trapped forever. Even if death was your only escape, you would sooner or later no longer be trapped, confined to a space in which you were never meant to spend days much less years. If your last breath was the only freedom you ever felt, you at least felt sure it would one day come. Most likely sooner rather than later.

You turn, eyes searching out your chair only to find it occupied. Shocked you freeze, confusion masking your features as you take in the male figure watching you with cold, calculating eyes. “Well, well, well. Hello, pretty little thing. My, you truly are beautiful, aren’t you? I mean, he had told me all about you, but I just couldn’t believe you were really, well, real! It’s going to be so fun to break you...” A cruel smile twisted this odd man’s face, but you were only more confused. You slowly took a step back, eyes growing wide. “Ah, but you don’t know who I am, do you? I’m Grindwald, ever heard of me?” Stunned you shake your head no, gripping the cup in your hands even tighter. He pursues his lips, frowning down at you. “Well then, we will have to make sure to inform you, am I correct? Roldenburg, remember him? He gave you that pretty little scar, the code. How about I crave my name right into you, that would surely help you remember my name, correct?”

It suddenly clicked. Grindwald was the man Mr. Graves had told you about. In private after your interrogation with him, he had spoke to you about his own kidnapping and how he was now stronger for it, how I would be too. Grindelwald was the name he had said. The one who had helped boss escape. Pure agony washed over you as you realized the gravity of the situation. Your mind instantly raced to Queenie and Tina, the two wonderful women who you had came to trust and care for, your friends. Would he hurt them too? Your head jerked in the direction of their bedroom, startled to suddenly realized you couldn’t hear Tina regular soft snoring. Had he... had he already hurt them? Your throat closed as tears sprang to your eyes. Grindelwald’s laugh brought your attention back to him, back to the wicked smile he had. “Don’t worry about your little friends; they’re fine. I only performed a simple spell to ensure they will not wake up for a few more hours. But if you don’t comply, I can make sure they never wake up.” You swallowed thickly, nodding your head as you cautiously stepped forward. “That’s a good girl...” he murmured, hungry eyes searching over your body, causing you to squirm under his gaze.

A small noise brought the attention of both of you, simultaneously turning to lay your eyes on the case. A soft, familiar voice called to you from down below, and you ached to call back, tell him not to come up, but you had no voice. By some power of his, you were rendered completely unable to speak or even move the slightest. "Y/N? Y/N, are you up here? Frank's throwing a fit and I couldn't find you anywhere in the case." A tuff of familiar ginger hair popped out of the case, followed by the smiling face of the kindest man I knew. His face stopped short once he took in my fearful, frozen expression. "Y/N?" Glancing to Grindwald, he leaped into action. Whipping out his wand he launched a curse at him, hitting Grindelwald square in the chest. He seemed unfazed though, rising from your once favorite seat and throwing a return curse to Newt. You silently begged Newt to stop, to not try to fight him. You knew it would only end in him being injured. Or worse [expelled] killed. But you couldn't move, you couldn't make a noise. Panic gripped you tight as watched the spell hit Newt square in the chest. He staggered back, falling backwards from the sheer force if the spell.

"Newton Scamander. You bested me once, I won't have you doing it again." Grindelwald yelled in a fury fueled rage. He stomped over to Newt who struggled to sit up only to be knocked down again by Grindelwald's boot. Wand pointed threateningly down at Newt, he sneered. "It would be so  _ eas _ y to kill you right now. I can prove to everyone I truly am the best. But I want so much more from you than a quick death. I want torture, I want pain. I want to break you down in ways you've never imagined, ripping you apart piece by piece until your  _ nothing. _ Then? I want to carve into your body, slitting open vines and I want to watch the blood flow from you as you slowly bleed out. I want you to suffer. And you want to know the first step? Her." He stopped, looking at you over his shoulder, smirking in that cruel way for his.

"Now," he begins casually, stepping off if Newt and shooting another spell at him. "I believe we must be going. Shall we?" he asked, gripping your arm and pulling you to him. You suddenly were able to move again as you fell against him. You fight against his grip, struggling to move away from him. It's useless and he wraps an arm around your waist.

Beginning to hyperventilate, you push against his chest as hard as you can, turning and locking eyes with Newt. He stares up at you in a weak, beaten state. He's struggling to get up, still trying to save you. But he can't. You know e can't, Grindelwald knows he can't and worst if all, Newt knows he can't. But he continues fighting, trying to stand. As Grindelwald pulls you closer and farther away from Newt you suddenly cry out. "NEWT! NEWT!" The heart break is evident on his face and just before Grindelwald apperated away with you, you yelled, "DON'T BLAME YOURSELF! I LOVE YOU." With the last word still ringing in the air you both vanished in a black swirling, leaving Newt laying bruised and alone or the floor or his only friends' apartment. 

  
  
  



	13. Pretty Little Pet

In such a time, your entire world had been turned inside out. While it was something you had seen coming, you despised it.

It was a rocky landing once you feet finally hit the ground. You were thankful, but as soon as you could stand properly, your stomach lurched. You feel forward on your hands and knees, trying not to hurl. Grindelwald came behind you, making a sound of disgust. A solid foot was placed in the small of your back as he kicked you down and held you there. Sneering he informed you, "If you get sick on the floor, you'll be cleaning it up." Holding back tears you nodded mutely, terrified of further punishment. Above you he tutted in displeasure, removing his foot only to grab you by the hair and pulling you up. My small gasp felt your mouth at the pain, but you fell nearly limp, moving how he wanted you to. "Now, I don't know how Newt ran things, but I'll tell you right now. When I talk to your worthless being, I. Want. An. Answer. Do I make myself clear?" You nodded your head, licking your lips as you tried to form words.

It was only out of fear you were able to, pushing the slimy words out in an act that made you feel every bit as worthless as he had said you were. "Ye-ess sir."

He smiled cruelly, looking me over. In an instant he had let you go, walking away from you completely. You took this time to search your surroundings, looking over every inch of the room. It was a simple living room, though less furnished than others. There was a tall cabinet on one side, full of bottles and glasses which was where Grindelwald was now walking to. There was a small loveseat with a coffee table in front of it. A fireplace was lit in the corner, giving off a light glow. A door was across from it, assumedly leading to another part of the house. He opened the cabinet, pulling out a glass and a bottle filled with brownish liquid. "Want some?" he asked as if engaging in simple conversation with a friend.

Already you could tell he was unpredictable. One moment he would be fine, but the next he seemed to snap, his entire being shifting from friendly to threatening in less than a second. Unsure of how to answer you paused before softly refusing, "No-o thank yo-ou." As if he didn't hear you, he pulled out another glass, filling it as well as his own. You slowly stood, shakily and leaning against the wall for support. With both glasses full he holds the turning you watch you. Your back has a dull ache from his kick and you are sure there is a bruise forming. Leaning against the wall you look away from him, studying the ground a few feet to your left. Without a comment he moves, sitting down on the loveseat. Both glasses are set in front of him as he looks back to you, seemingly waiting for something.

"Well, come here, have a seat." You nod, though are confused by his request. He is sitting in the only chair in the room and it isn't until he pats his lap that you realize what he wants you to do. Your stomach drops as you lower your head, steadily walking to him before sitting across his lap. The simple action makes your stomach drop, a horrible feeling surrounding you. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath and preparing yourself for anything else he could do.

He studies you for a moment before causally resting his hand on your bare thigh. You were only wearing a simple dress with no undergarments, a decision you are cursing yourself for already. He kneads the skin there, running his hand over and over the area. Suddenly sitting forward he grabs a drink, taking a long drink from it. He brings the glass back down with a content sigh, turning and pushing it to your lips, an eyebrow raised expectantly. Rationally you knew it didn't have anything in it, after all he had drank from it first, but you didn't want to accept anything of his, much less drink after him. It was silent for a moment as he watched you, eyes boring into you viciously. Scared you part your lips and tilts the liquid into your mouth. It has a horribly foul taste and you sputter and cough, trying to get away from it. A rough hands suddenly grabs the back of your head, tilting it back as he poured the rest of the glass down your throat. "When I give you something to drink, you drink it!" he roared, emptying the glass before throwing it at the wall behind you. You swallowed the foul drink, hating the way it burned your throat and chest. It seemed to linger there, a fire building in your chest as you began to cry silently. You longed for the comfort of Newt, for his smile and all of the wonderful creatures. Grindelwald suddenly shoved you back, pushing you off of him and onto the like of glass laying on the floor behind you. You winced as the glass shards sank into your flesh, a painful reminder you were  _ no _ t with Newt and he would not be coming to save you. In a fit of rage, Grindelwald stood, raising a good and kicking you in the face. You head flew back with tremendous force, knocking it back against the wall. You tell limply down the wall, the world around you becoming a blur as you fading out of consciousness.

*****************************

Newt POV

Newt cried out as he watched Grindelwald take you, a loud, heart wrenching wail, one which you didn't hear. He fell back, wore out from the brief fight and fighting tears at the loss of you. Your words struck him hard; you loved him. Though he didn't know if you meant as a friend, he was being to think he Scared for you as more. And now... You were gone. He wasn't strong enough to save you, he never had been and dangerous thoughts crashed down on him at the thought of it.

Newt had a past. Of course everyone did, but he kept his much more hidden than others. Hogwarts... Hogwarts had been tell for him. He was a good student and well liked by most teachers, but the students didn't care for him. In their mind, He was a loner freak, someone to stay away from. And most people did, they ignored him, going as far as to turn away when he saw him coming. But they were better than the ones who died pay attention. He was a Hufflepuff, and a weaker one at that. Many over the older and stronger students would pick on him, for no reason at all other than the fact he was different. He was weird, and weird wasn't good. It needed to be punished, and so others mad it their mission to. His older brother, Theseus, he cared for Newt, but graduated after Newt's first year. After that he was alone and bullied relentlessly. He was too kind to really hate his tormentors, another thing that set him apart. Instead he took their cruel words to heart, be living he truly deserved nothing, truly  _ wa _ s nothing. He turned every negative emotion he felt inward. He began to really hate himself and it took him to a very dark place, one he himself dreaded to be. 

****Self-harm warning****

He took to the only escape he could find, self-harm. At first it was small things, things no one would pay attention to, scratching at his skin till it was red and raw or finding a rubber band to snap himself with. But as he got worse, so did his actions. It wasn't too long before he had found a blade, using it to cut jagged lines across his already somewhat scared skin. His mother had worked with creatures and he was constantly helping the Care for Magical Creatures teacher with all of the various animals, so he was prone to have a few scars. He hated looking at them, they were another reminder of how different he was, but he figured if he already had some, a few more would go unnoticed. When he went to the nurse for bandages, she was already so used to him needing them from and accident with a creature she hadn't even thought to question it. 

****Warning over****

His depression, it was slowly eating him alive. He knew it too, but he couldn't stop, he couldn't help himself. Until one day another he ran into an odd person. One not like him, different in other ways but still different and set apart from others. Leta Lestrange. She was strong and confident while still being odd. Her differentness came in the form of clothing and speech more than anything. People had tried to attack her too, but she was strong and they learned to leave her alone, least they get on her bad side. He had become infatuated with her, watching her from afar, but never having the courage to speak to her. In his mind He wasn't good enough for her, even though he longed to at least say hello. She had noticed him, from the beginning when He started watching her. She took note of him, watching him as well though she did it much more secretively than he. She asked around, finding out everything she could about him. She waiting for him to approach her, but he never did. After waiting nearly 7 months, she had had enough and decided to go to him herself.

Newt was reasonably caught off guard when he was suddenly being pushed against a tree At the edge of the Forbidden Forest after class hours. He had immediately assumed it was another guy to come beat him up, and he was thoroughly surprised to find lips being almost forcefully pressed against his. His first kiss and it was more forced than anything, rushed and almost feverish if he had to describe it. When he opened his eyes to find his long time crush was the one pinning him to the tree, well, he became a lot more cooperative. It was a while before she finally pulled away, both of them desperately needing oxygen. She had proceeded with asking him to be her boyfriend, when he enthusiastically agreed.

With her now in his life he began to feel better. She was strong where he was weaker and she wasn't afraid to protect him. She fought off his tormentors and everything feel into place it seemed like. Newt fell in love, and he fell hard. It was an amazing beautiful teenage romance, straight out of fiction. With Leta around, Newt felt all of his problems disappear, vanish away in smoke. He was outstandingly happy. At least, while it lasted.

Newt never told her why He wore long sleeves, terrified of her reaction, but he figured seeing as he quit, he wouldn't have to. That was until she wanted to take things further. She had lead Newt into the Forbidden Forest, a private place neither were afraid of. Newt knew the animals and Leta was simply brave. She had made plans to have her way with him finally, but she lead him there under the guise of a date. He had went willingly, filling trusting her. It would be a lie to say he didn't think of her in that way or indulged with her on his mind, but he was no where near ready to actually go all the way with her. They had dated for quite a while and he truly loved her, but it wasn't something he wanted yet.

She dragged him deep into the forest until almost no sounds were heard at all. It was just the two of them and she pulled him into a heavy make-up session, shifting until she was sitting fully on his lap. She paused for a moment, shyly smiling at him as she grabbed them hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. Newt was nearly frozen in shock, growing horribly red as he took in his girlfriend for so long sitting in his lap with only a bra and skirt on. She had smiled widely at his reaction, knowing she could get him to do whatever she wished. She jumped right back to kissing him, pulling his arms around her and up to her bra. She brought his hands around, leading them to cup her breasts as she smiled down coyly. Newt was wide-eyed, swallowing hard as she pressed her crotch against his. It was... pleasurable, but too much. He became more uncomfortable the more she moved against him. Her mouth was once again attached to his, but moved down, making a trail of open-mouthed, sloppy kisses down to his neck. A strangled noise escaped his throat as his head fell back. He wanted to say no, to stop her from going farther, but he was unsure how to, or even if she would listen. Not to mention what she would think of him for doing so. He was disposed to like this, not be a whimp and back out. He could do this, he could show her so was strong. He experimentally gripped her breasts and was pleasantly surprised at the noise of approval she made. Yeah, he could do this; he could be normal for once. He pushed away troublesome thoughts, trying to swallow the terrible feeling brewing in his gut. She suddenly pulled away slightly, gripping the bottom of the sweater he was wearing. In a flash she had pulled it up and over his head. Panic ripped him as he suddenly realized his scars were now visible. He went still, looking away from her and suddenly becoming very interested in the roots of a tree to too far from them. 

****Self-harm scar warning****

Seeing his scars, Leta froze above him. She ran her hands over his chest, running them over wounds that had long since healed. Wounds he had inflicted on himself. He had covered it chest with various marks after someone almost saw his arms. He was ashamed now to look at them, he outright refused to look in the mirror, because they were a constant reminder of how weak he was. How weak he is. Glancing at her he saw her staring down at him confusedly, a dumbfounded look covering her face. She suddenly grabbed his arms, looking over the multiple slash marks up and down his arms. 

****warning over****

She suddenly looked up at him, eyes burning bright. She demanded to know if he had done this to himself. He shyly faced her, nodding his head eyes as tears threatened to escape. At this motion she suddenly became infuriated, dropping his arms immediately. She reared back, striking him across the face with a suddenness that sent him to the ground. Tears flowed freely as she screamed at him, calling him everything she could think of. Worthless. Scum. Fuck-up. Deadbeat. Failure as a person. Waste of skin. You never should have been born. You should go kill yourself, freak.

All he did was lay there, taking every insult she threw at him. He simply lay there in the middle of the forest, half-naked until Leta finally walked away. He curled in the cold of the forest, shaking as he silently sobbed to himself. 

****self-harm warning****

He weakly reached forward, finding a sharp stick and using it to slice into his arm. It hurt, but he welcomed the sharp pain. He ha always hated existing, but this time he truly wished to die. Blood pooled on the ground under him, the result of three long, horizontal smashed down his arms. It was only a moment before he became light-headed, the blood loss getting to him. He lay back down on the dirty, cold forest floor, head smacking on the ground just after his back. Laying there he prayed for an animal to come kill him. At least then it would be quick, he thought weakly. The blood loss got to him before anything else did, ripping his consciousness from him sharply.

****Warning over****

Newt now laid on the floor, back pressed hard on the ground the same it had all those years ago. Tears silently streamed down his face as his immense sorrow and grief awoke Queenie with a start.  With the exit of Grindelwald, came the release of the spell he had under Queenie and Tina under, though they were completely unaware. Queenie rushed out of her room, finding Newt laying back on the ground crying as flashbacks of years long past surfaced to his mind. She gasped, crying out as she saw everything he saw, everything he had worked so hard to overcome and hide from her. She yelled her Tina, who immediately summoned Graves. By the time Graves had arrived wearing only pjs, slippers, and a coat, Queenie ha managed to sit Newt up in a chair, wrapping him in blankets and setting tea and coffee to be made. He was mute, shell-shocked past the boundaries of functioning. He simply sat and stared, gazing at the broken pieces of a mug that Y/N had dropped. Graves arrived asking question after question, only to be met with silence. Queenie filled in what she knew, what she had saw of the night as it had replayed once in Newt's mind. She didn't tell them about Hogwarts, she would never in a million years. She was sad Newt hadn't felt close enough to share some of his past with her, but she full heartedly understood.

"Queenie, is there anything,  _ anything  _ at all that you can read from Newt that could help us in even the smallest way?" Graves asked her for the 100th time. He had a notepad sitting in his lap, making notes of everything she had told him.

"No, no there isn't. His mind... It's empty right now..." Queenie mumbled nervously, wringing her hands as she did so. She peered at him closely, trying to find anything in his mind. Even if it wasn't anything helpful, there should be  _ somethin _ g there.

"What do you mean by empty, Queenie?" Tina gently asked her. She knew Queenie wasn't telling them everything that she knew and she knew whatever it was had upset her sister in a way that she had rarely seen before. But Tina had complete faith in her sister to tell Graves and herself anything that could even possibly be helpful. Secrets aren't hers to tell, Queenie would tell Tina all the time, always vowing to never tell or take advantage of someone weak spots or hidden pasts.

"I-i I mean empty. Blank... Everyone always has something that their thinking of, or is in the back of their head, and sometimes I have to work a little harder to find out what, but there's  _ nothin _ g here. He doesn't have a simple thought in his mind at all. There's nothing to read from him..." Her words fell heavy on the group as the other two were stunned into silence. And yet still, Newt sat there, staring blankly at the floor, the spot Queenie had cleaned. He could hear words being spoken, but they seemed so far away, and useless. They didn't matter. He didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He didn't move, didn't say anything, didn't think anything, didn't even  _ feel  _ anything as he sat there numbly, not processing anything around him. 


	14. Fog

Hell. Absolute hell, was all you and Newt knew the following week. You had completely retreated in yourself as you had been when Newt first recused you. You were almost constantly on edge, flinching at every sound and hiding away from light. But Grindelwald, he was so much worse than Boss. He  _ used  _ you, in a way even Boss had not. Not only did he used your body, for please and to take his anger out, and your magic, he also experimented. He took your blood, your hair, and your feathers, trying to find magical used for them. He reminded you of Newt in a cruel, harsh way. He carried a journal of sorts with him, constantly writing down little notes on what worked and what didn't, what his had tried and what he should in the future. Newt did very close to the same, though he more studied creatures actions and habits, how they worked with other animals. He kept track of how they healed, while Grindelwald wanted to see how things worked and he definitely wasn't afraid of breaking them to find out. Today, for example, he was testing how different runed weapons reacted to your skin. You were stripped bare, held down on your stomach on a flat table by multiple straps. Her head was tilted to the side, but it was facing the opposite wall rather than him. He loved the "excitement" of you being blindfolded or not being able to look while he hurts you. Your wings were roughly pulled above your head, held together at an awkward angle by strings. Humming quietly to himself he drew his first blade. As you couldn't see, every other sense you had was on overdrive, meaning you felt it all the more when he finally cut into your back. Having thought ahead and put a gag in your mouth, muffled screams where all that was heard for the rest of the day.

Grindelwald had continued with his experiment throughout the day, only stopping when he ran out of knives to test out. The skin of your back had long past been filled with the long, horizontal marks, and he had moved on, creating vertical ones down the back of your legs. Every inch of your body aches and cried out in pain as he finally went to release you from the binds. Muscles were sore from disuse, while the rest aches from the still bleeding cuts. Grabbing you by the forearm, Grindelwald pulled you up. The sudden movement and blood loss caused you to nearly faint, and he can to hold you up by the arms to keep you from hitting the ground. He sneered down at you, pulling you to the bathroom area. It was a small, rectangle room adjacent to the main room, though it had no door. He dragged you in, throwing you into the open shower. "Clean up," he ordered, releasing you and briskly walking away. You braced yourself on the wall, weakly reaching out to turn on the water. You hissed, flinching way as the too-cold Water suddenly hit you open wounds. Biting your lip hard enough to bring blood you slowly turned around, rising off your back and legs as best you could. Every drop of water hurt more than the last, but you knew the cuts needed to be cleaned in fear of infection. Leaning on the wall you hang your head, focusing on the trails of blood the ran down your body and swirled together on the ground, slowly making their way to the drain. Not too long after, you turned off the water, shakily walking out of bathroom. You had no towel, so you shook yourself off as best as you could, looking around the room briefly. The door to Grindelwald's room was already shut, meaning he didn't expect you to join him tonight. You breathed out a sigh of relief, not sure you could have physically handled anymore. You make your way over to the corner of the room, slowly sinking into it. You curl into yourself, wings wrapping weakly around you. Resting your head against the wall your finally fall into a fitful sleep.

******

**Newt's POV**

The morning after you were gone, the search was on. Graves extended every contact he knew and they were all looking for any leads as to where Grindelwald could have taken you. Newt was still numb, but functioning. At least as far As his animals went. Everyone had decided Newt was in no shape to help look for you and they had pretty much left him to his creatures. Queenie was constantly fussing at him, doing her best to insure he ate and took care of himself. She now knew of his past and was horribly afraid of him falling into depression once more, so she was constantly watching him.

Newt himself quickly fell into his daily routine, feeding and caring for all of the creatures as he normally would. They all understood something was wrong but it was a full day before everyone noticed your absence. Some who we're closer to your cried out, shifting anxiously and searching for their "daddy." He had been almost a joke in the beginning; Newt was of course their Mum, so he had said you were Daddy. But know he only hurt him to think about it. Dougal had took on the job of calming everyone down, becoming close to Frank and Jasmine who had been close to you as well. No one quite understood why you were gone, but they all knew you weren't here. Jasmine had almost permanently moved into Frank's habitat, and which her Jack who of course never strayed from her. Frank would sleep curled around them, Dougal joining them soon after. It broke Newt's heart to see them like this, and everything he passed them he had to take a moment to keep from completely breaking down.

Nights... Nights were the hardest for Newt because he had grown so used to sleeping next to you, cuddled together. He missed wrapping his arms around you, missed your wings acting as a blanket for him, missed waking to find you laying across his chest, missed falling asleep with you drawing mindless figures in his chest. He missed  _ you _ . Everything he did now, he could close his eyes and see you doing it with him, helping him as best you could, but then he would open his eyes and you would be gone. Sleeping as fitful for him as nightmares invited every aspect of his dreams. He was unable to sleep for long periods of time, only taking short naps when he was so exhausted he could barely stand.

Today he had stumbled out of bed at on ungodly hour, climbing out of his case as if that would allow him to escape. He moved to the living room, in a chair broke away from all the others and facing away. He looked at the other chairs and he would think of you being taken, so he curled in a ball away from them, sipping a warm cup of tea He had magically summoned to him. Instead of the living room, he faced outward, gazing over the empty streets of New York. He thoughts were mindless, pulling him in different directions in an attempt to distract himself. He idly realized this was the longest he had stayed in one place since He left to start his book. He mostly stayed only a week or two, a month at the most, and they were typically quite busy working with various creatures who needed him or tracking them down. He had been in New York three, going on four months. And that didn't account for the few days he was here only two months prior to this trip, when he had first met Tina and everyone. It was strange, he supposed, how little he had known the people he now counted as his best friends, or even how the person whose absence was causing him so much pain now he had only known for roughly a month at best. He was coming too close to thinking about you again, so he shook his head, switching to think of something else. Of his first trip to New York. He had been far too hectic for his taste, with creatures going missing, Graves and Grindelwald, the American Ministry, and everything else. It hadn't been the first time his creatures had gotten loose, but it was mostly just the niffler, who he would find shortly after. He would never admit it, but he knew he didn't have quite everyone back in his face. He was missing two billywigs, but they were just harmless bugs who would have been terribly hard to catch. They definitely wouldn't hurt anyone and he had been planning on releasing them soon, so he figured he would just let them be. Frank, he loved Frank so much. After he had released him the first time in New York, he had traveled back to find Newt. New York wasn't where he belonged, so he was content to travel with him until they finally reached Arizona. It was actually one of the main reasons he had returned to New York. He was stopped by the visit his friends before moving to Colorado, following reports of a strange mountain monster. He had a few different ideas of what it could be, but it had a strong suspicion and it he was correct it would cause any serious injuries until he finally got there. After Colorado, he would go down the Arizona, releasing Frank and seeing if he could find another Thunderbird. Of course all of his plans had been pushed back by the discovery of Y/N...

Something suddenly flashed out of the corner of his eye and Newt furrowed his brow, shifting in his seat to get a better look out of the window. He had been sitting there for so long 3rd Sun had begun to rise, but just barely enough that the streets weren't covered in complete darkness. In the faint light, his eyes strained to find what he had previously saw. A few streets down a black fog was surrounding on alleyway, slowly sinking into it. Newt jumped up, not even bothering to throw on a coat before hastily searching for bystanders and apparating near the alley.

The sudden change in temperature from the warm street to the chilly street side was a shock to Newt's system and he cursed himself for not grabbing his normal blue coat. Pushing away the idea he slowly crept forward, wand somewhat hidden, but ready if needed. It was still so early in the morning no muggles were awake or out yet, so he wasn't as concerned with hiding. Slowly creeping forward he turned into the alley, searching for the black fog in the darkness. The air around him crackled with energy and he could  _ feel  _ the magic. He stepped forward, into the dark of the alley where there was a lack of light. " _ Lumos, _ " He whispered, barely audible to even himself. His wand cast a soft glow around him as he looked deeper in the alley. Creeping toward He watched as the fog twisted away from Newt's glowing wand, moving in a way he had rarely seen before. His eyes widened as he realized what he was staring at. It was... It was wholly impossible, and yet it was right here, in front of him. An Obscurus. He watched wide-eyed as the being tried to compress itself, attempting to once more become a solid form. It was unsuccessful, only able to make the blurry form of a face. But it was a blurry face, he recognized. Astonished he stepped back, a gasp falling from his lips as he stared in wonder. Leaning back in his whispered softly, so has not to scare it away. "Credence?"

 


	15. Best Way to Wake Up

A hand gently cupped your head, tilting it to the side. "Morning sunshine," Newt whispered, lips inches from your ear. You smiled widely, nuzzling into his hand as you turned to him.

"Newt," you murmured, reaching a hand out and trailing it approvingly down his check to his chin. "I love waking up next to you," you whispered, snuggling closer to his side.

"It's my favorite part of the day," Newt confessed, looking to the side semi-embarrassed. Your smile grew at his response and you suddenly leaned forward, capturing your lips with his. It was the first real kiss you'd ever had. Boss had forced his lips to your before, but it wasn't a true kiss and was tainted in all the worst ways. This thought... This was light and pure. It was perfect. You and Newt moved with one another as if you were made for one another. He suddenly rolled you over, forcing you to your back as you hovered above you. Your wings rolled out to the side, sprayed out in a show and they may limply. You panted slightly, almost out of breath as you stared up at Newt longingly. "I," kiss, "love," kiss, "you," kiss, Newt repeated, recapturing your lips. His hand came up once more, holding onto the back of your head, them suddenly gripping your hair, pulling the strands in a hurtful way. You pulled back, surprised Newt would hurt you in any way. The tugging became worse, more harsh and more insistent with each tug.

In a flash you had awakened, gasping as Grindelwald ripped out some of your hair from pulling so hard. Mouth wide open, you tilted your head back, moving it in the direction of his hand to prevent the loss of more. He kneeled down, releasing your head and instead grabbing your jaw to stare you in the eye. He watched me closely, trailing his head slowly over your body. His eyes alone made your skin crawl, the ghost feeling of his hands sliding over your body terrified you. "You know," he began, staring more at your lips than your eyes. His eyes flicked back up to yours as he continued, "You are very pretty, and somewhat useful, but that man already used you, trained you. And that's my favorite part, breaking in pets. So how about we try something new, something I know he didn't do because he had no leverage. But I do. I have your friends, and I can hurt them  _ so  _ easy. I think it would be really fun to make you watch, too." My eyes widened in horror as I thought of anything he could possibly for me to do. There were so many terrible, terrible things, and many flashed through my head as I took in a shaky breath. Even the worst one I could think of I would still willingly do, because it meant saving my friends. Their lives mattered more to me than anything, and I would do anything to save them, even if it meant I would die. I had accepted, cherished the idea actually. It would put an end to my suffering, but I needed to make sure Newt was save before... before it happened. I had known from the beginning, the first time I was taken, once I was really broken in. I knew I was destined to die and I hated that some part of me actually believed I could stay with Newt and love him. It such a ridiculous idea, and I was ashamed I had ever even thought about it before. It wasn't possible, and I had always really known it, but for a brief time I thought we could make it work. Now the reality really crashed down, he had be at his will. I would do anything for him, and he knew it with perfect clarity. It was completely dehumanizing and I wished he would just kill me to get it over with, but I also knew that wasn't how he worked. He loved to play the long game and watch everyone suffer in the process.

"I want you to," he said softly and slowly, taking his time and loving the silent torture it put me through. "get me off. Everyday, willingly. If you don't one day, I'll take one of your friends and I slowly bleed them, staining my hands red as you are strapped down and forced to watch. Maybe I'll even hurt you a little, that would hurt them, too, right? You pathetic people care far too much about one another, but it makes it so much more fun to play. I could just kill you before them and teach them everything  _ boss _ taught you. I love you actually called him that, it shows respect. But that's beside the point, do you accept?" You frantically shook your head yes, unwilling to but your friends in danger for even a moment. He grinned triumphantly, releasing you internally while he stood up and stepped away. Wandlessly, he made a chair appear in the center of the room, making a show of turning around to sit in it. You watched confused, until he raised an eyebrow, silently questioning you.

Swallowing hard you crawl closer to him, bile raising to your throat at the idea of your actions. He laughs mercilessly as you force yourself to do as he asks.

***Newt POV***

"Credence? Is that you?" Newt hesitantly asks, stepping forward slightly. The fog twirls around, twisting closer to him. It presses itself together, attempting to hold a human shape but failing and dispersing quickly. The fog, Credence, pressed himself into the corner, so Newt did what he did most of his life. He comforted a wounded animal. "Credence. Credence, its me Newt. Remember? I tried to help you in the train station."

At the words, the fog lashed out, forcing Newt back. He internally cursed himself. How he be so stupid as to bring up a traumatic event to an injured person? "Woah, Credence, calm down. It's okay, I promise I won't hurt you. I'm here to help you, okay. I want you to come with me, and I'll heal you as best I can, alright?"

Even though no face was visible, Newt could almost feel the judgmental stare Credence was giving him. That was what worried him the most; he always had body language and facial expressions he could read, but with Credence, he had none. He had no way to guess what he was thinking, or what he was preparing to do. He could watch the fog curl and twist, wondering if there was a motive behind the actions. Could Credence controls how the fog moved, and if so, could he use the actions as a way to communicate?

Credence began to move forward, actions slow and weary, though Newt suddenly understood why. Credence had had so many different people in his life who all abandoned him or used him or their own personal gain. It was sick, and it hurt Newt to think of it, but it was the reality.

"Credence, I'm going to use my wand to summon my case, alright? Don't be startled," Newt carefully spoke all of his intended actions before he moved, hoping it would help ease Credence. Twisting his wand he summoned his case to his side. Credence backed up slightly, untrusting of the foreign magic he had been promised would cause him so much harm. Newt opened the case, watching the fog as he did so. "See, it's not going to hurt you. You can go inside and you'll be safe. You can stay with me; I'll heal you and protect you, alright Credence?" Newt had tears in his eyes, thinking of everything the poor boy had been through, and how much he had to fight every day to simply stay alive. He hoped Credence could see how sincere he was, how much he really wanted the boy to have a better life.

Credence slowly crept forward, spreading himself out as he did. A part of him slowly creeped into the case, watching the surroundings. Finally, painstakingly slowly, the rest of him entered the case. Releasing the breath he had held in, Newt closed the case, quickly apparating back to the apartment. Immediately he sat down the case, opening it and crawling inside. Shutting it behind him, he made his way into his home, thinking of ways he could help Credence. 

  
  



	16. Unyielding and Ruthless

***Newt's POV***

Newt sighed frustratedly, shoving the book on his desk away from him. Crossing his arms on the desk he hung his low, tears forming in his eyes. A mantra of self-deprecating words flew through his head at a rapid pace as he fought to keep himself together. It had been nearly a month and there had been no sign of Y/N. The thought of her with that... That monster, it tore at Newt more than he had ever thought possible. And it didn't help that he was continuously failing Credence. He had tried almost everything he could think of to help Credence gain strength, to help him regain his human form, but nothing worked. His best attempt was having Credence's fog surround an animal which threw electric-magic bolts to anything near it. Three shocks and Credence solidified, but it only lasted a few hours and he was heartbreakingly weak. Other ideas and combinations would give him so power, even solidify of a few moments, but nothing held. Newt could still feel the magic and power radiating from him and he could even feel it grow occasionally, but it was never enough to keep him alive and human. And it broke Newts heart, each and every time he failed.

_ Newt was nervous, having Credence surround on of his most dangerous and powerful creatures he had in his case, but he almost had faith it would work.  "Credence, I want you to get close to him, okay? From what I've seen, you need more energy, more power to... Condense yourself. Now the little critter, he shoots it off as a way to defend himself and I want you to use that to help yourself, alright?" Credence gave off a small pulse, his way of agreeing. His fog, crept forward, surrounding the poor, small creature. He hated manipulating it and making it scared, but it knew it could potentially save another. The dark cloud completely covered it, so much so, Newt couldn't track it anymore. There was a warning hiss before three bright, flashing bolts and suddenly the cloud jerked, instantaneously compressing itself into a human shape. Credence, the real, human him, stood before Newt, shaking and looking up at Newt through his bangs. His hair had grown out since Newt had last really seen him, slightly curled and defiantly unruly. His clothes, which had been used and worn before, were now almost tatters that hung off of his broken, shrunken in body. While he had been malnourished before, he was almost non-existent now, thin enough you could practically look through him. Yet, even if he was a little worse for wear, the sight of him caused Newt's heart to surge. Credence shook slightly, finding it hard to keep himself up and he suddenly toppled over, hitting the soft, grass covered ground below him. Newt rushed over, panic seizing him at the idea Credence was hurt. Looking down at him though, Newt saw he was laughing. Small, light, breathless laughs fell from his lips as he laid on his back and stared at the sky. He suddenly reached up, holding his hand above his face and studied it, memorized. _

_ "Ya-you di-did it," he murmured, stuttering as he did. Newt knelt beside him, smiling as he did. Credence suddenly shoot up, wrapping his arms around Newt's neck. "Ya-you s-saved me. The-thank you." Tears pooled in Newt's eyes as he wrapped his arms around the poor boy's frail body. He did it, he really did it. And even though she was in the back of his mind, he knew he couldn't help her right now, but he did save Credence. _

_ It was a while before Newt got Credence up. Even though he was strong enough to maintain human form, he was horribly weak. Getting him standing, bathed, and dressed with new clothes he was borrowing from Newt was a large challenge, but one they enventually got done. They were now sitting at Newt's make-shift dinner table, Credence eating a bowl of soup with a few potions mixed in while Newt sat across from him, writing in his journal. _

_ Newt had a very disorganized, organization system. When he took in a new creature, He logged in their name, the date, and species into a overly large, wire-bound book. He would then give them a serial code, which he could use to identify that particular animal. In his journals and records, he wrote out that serial code before writing down any information he had. He grouped the animals together and had one book for many different ones, having A list of the serial codes on the front of the book. In the front cover he would write out a table of contents telling which codes were raked about on which pages. If he had a certain creature that was very important or he was studying for a special project, he would start a new book for just them. It was very complicated and very few understood it well, but it helped him work more efficiently. He had started a new book for Y/N, but he decided to add Credence to it as well, seeing as they were both very rare and the only humanized creatures he was caring for as of now. _

_ He now wrote excitedly, recording how the electro-magic shocks had given Credence strength. He was also writing how Credence had survived on his own as he told the story. Credence's words were soft and almost reluctant, with pauses and stutters throughout his speech. Newt were encourage him every so often, a half smile orca nod of his head to show yes, he was listening and yes, he did care. _

_A look of pain suddenly overcame Credence's features as he dropped the spoon. He gasped in a breath, scrunching himself inward to make himself as small as possible. "Credence?!" Newt cried, jumping from his chair and running to his side. He put a hand on his back to help steady him, frowning when Credence flinched at the feel. "Hey, what's wrong? Talk to me, tell me what's wrong," Newt's words were soft and comforting and he began to rub circles on_ _Credence's back._

_ "Hurts..." Crednece strains out through gritted teeth. "I-I da-don't think I ca-can hoo-hold it I-in..." His stuttered words were cut off by a whimper that tore at Newt. _

_ "Shhh... It's alright. I-I was afraid of this, and I made a room for you, okay?" Newt helped Credence stand, but he was so weak and his legs fell out beneath him. Newt immediately began carrying him, hooking Credence's knees over his arms and lifting him up. Running through his case he ran to the winter area. The other obscrial had preferred this habitat as it was far more isolated than any of the others and Newt liked it because it meant the other creatures were  likely to be effected by and outburst. Shortly after he had found Credence on the street and taken him in, he had set to work building a safe place for Credence in case he lost control. He now rushed Credence to the strongest house he had ever build and one of the very few that actually had a roof. It wasn't really furnished, he had figured Credence could use the room as a bedroom when he was able to stay solid and Newt was going to allow Credence to decorate it as he pleased. As of now it only had a simple, bare bed and an empty chests. "Credence, this is a safe place for you, alright? When I leave and close this door, you don't have to hold it in anymore, understand? You don't half to worry about hurting anyone, because you're the only thing in here and you won't get out. Once you're feeling calmer, I'll come and open the door." Newt brushed back the scraggly hair that was stuck to Credence's forehead, heart breaking at the thought of having to lock someone, a friend, in a room even if it was for their own safety. Shaking his head and fighting tears, Newt ran out of the room, shutting it firmly behind him.  There were a few moments of tense silence before a pain-ridden scream tore out of Credence. Tears fell down Newt's face as he covered his mouth. His body shook with silenced cries as he slid his back down the rough wood of the door, curling himself on the soft ground. _

Newt was suddenly snapped back into the present by a wetness on the back of his hand. It took a moment to realize it was his tears as he stared down at it. He quickly wiped his face, trying to remove any sign of what he considered a weakness. He had to do better, he had to  _ be  _ better if he ever hoped to save both Y/N and Credence. It was a terrifying thought, that he wasn't and would never be good enough, and it was one that kept him up at night, tossing and turning. Closing his eyes he focused all of his energy. He opened them, picked up a quill, and wrote.

*** Y/N POV ***

You lay with your stomach and chest pressed firmly to the chilled metal table in the center of the room. Your mind was fuzzy as you tried in vain to grasp what was happening. Droll rolled down your chin and dripped to the concrete ground beneath you. There is swirled with other substances, one which you vaguely recognized as blood. You could almost remember the other, greenish slob on the floor was a spilt potion, but you weren't quite sure. Flashes of you being buried alive or drowning in a pool stung your mind, but you weren't sure if they were imaginary, nightmares, or memories. It scared you to realize you were losing your sanity, but you could only fight so hard to keep it in tact.

_ You hid in the corner as Grindelwald grew madder and madder. Your head hurt and you could no longer remember how much time has passed or what all he'd done to you. You knew there were potions and spells and beatings, more and more threats of harm to get you to do as he pleased, but there was no separation of night or day or even the passing of time, and you lost track of so much. _

_ Grindelwald suddenly ran at you, grabbing the bottom of one of your dirty wings. Feathers were missing, as well as larger chunks and most of your feathers were matted with blood. Stark pain sliced up through your feathers and into your back as you jumped up to follow him, hoping to relieve some pain. You tried to remember what you had done wrong, but you could barely recall the day before. "You know what?" Grindelwald's sudden, booming voice yelled out. "I think I'm tiring of you..." Paralyzing fear overtook you as you fell limp. _

_ "No, no, no, no,no,no,no,plea,pleaseno,please!" You mumblingly repeated over and over, eyes wide as you tried to jump to him. You weren't afraid of death exactly, but you were horrified of what he may do to your friends after you. You grasped at him, holding onto any part of him you could, begging for your life. _

_ An almost a smile flashed over his features before he suddenly sneered down at you, releasing you and kicking you back. "Well, I guess you'll just have to prove yourself to me, won't you?" _

A loud crash brought your attention back to the room and you strained your head to look around the room. A man was standing in one corner, seething with rage. He was mumbling to himself, but growing louder with each word.  "That mindless, blundering, prat! He's gotten himself a Obscurial now! After all of the work I've put into her, he goes out and finds himself a new little pet." He suddenly composes himself, turning and smiling toward you. Stepping closer he grabs a wistful of your hair, pulling it up so he can look you properly. The angle strains the muscles in your head and you struggle to find a semi-comfortable position, which you soon find impossible. You cry out softly, mind muggy as you watch him sneer down at you with malice.

"I'll just have to shatter toy before I return it, won't I? Have you been enjoying our little games? Because I think it's time to turn it up a notch..." He suddenly brings a machine forward, one you had previously not seen. Twisting his hand you suddenly flipped over, the change making you sick to your stomach. He casually walked around you, leaning over to face you. He had an almost annoying habit of explaining what he was doing, almost like a doctor explaining a procedure before it happened. He said it allowed him to smell the fear on you, allow you for prepare for something you could never imagine. And then sometimes he'd pause, delaying whatever he was planning just long enough for you to begin to relax before he attacked.

But this time... this time he didn't, and that terrified you. Holding his wand, he suddenly postioned it near your head, pressing it into your right temple. Holding your breath, you closed your eyes, awaiting whatever he had planned. "Letaereo!" [lee-tear-re-o]

Fire. A pulsating, white-hot burn consumed you. Every nerve ending, every limb, every breath was pain, never-ending, earth-shattering pain. You thrashed against the bonds holding you down, struggling to escape in any way possible. A scream was tore from you as you lashed out. You couldn't move, you couldn't think, all you knew was the ache of the pain settling into your bones and invading every millimeter of your being. You were so consumed by your own suffering, you hadn't realized he had covered your face with a towel until he was shouting the next curse. " _ Aguamenti,"  _ he quietly murmurs, smiling sinisterly. You were overcome by the horrifying sensation of drowning as water shot through the tip of his wand. The pain ebbed away, only to be replaced by panic seizing  your heart and stopping your breath. You struggle to breath, and then once you finally give in to the primal urge you struggle to cough it out. He flicks his wand sharply, summoning the same spell off lightening he had used on Newt in the subway. The water stops, though you are still unable to breath due to the cloth, and instead every single muscle in your body tenses, seizing and unclenching rapidly at the electricity caught on the water and spread across you. What seemed like hours passed by as he held the spell, thought you realistically knew it was only a few minutes. It took forever for him to stop, and even when he had you knew you were beat. You couldn't move, you couldn't think, you could barely even breathe. Everything hurt, but after a while, once everything began to clear and shift, the pain lessened. Something overcame your body and it didn't really hurt anymore. You didn't feel anything, you didn't move (unless it was involuntary) and you certainly didn't think. And you never felt yourself drooling or hear it hit the ground. 

 


	17. Uncut

***Newt***

He'd been considering it. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't. Of course he kept his this thoughts tightly locked away around Queenie, more or less avoiding her anyway. He would remember how it felt, the kind of relief it gave him. But he knew now what came after it, the crash. You see, the physical pain took away the emotional pain for a while. It gave a sort of high, he mused, fore you didn't really register the physical pain either. But when the high was over, everything was worse. You seemed to hurt more and more and more until the blade seemed to be calling your name, over and over and over in a vicious cycle. You traveled around and round as a hamster on a wheel, pulled by the invincible strings which turned you into a marionette doll. He knew of the disgusted stares, the judgemental looks and the pitiful glances, knew it the never ending sorrow, of scars too disable to hide and seek by everyone. He knew one mark and you gave ownership of yourself over to this object, this inanimate thing that now took control of his life. His reality was based of the heart-wrenching, bone-deep sadness. The broken look of the brother whose shadow he'd made himself a home in; the desperate, aching grasp of an unsuspecting mother who kept herself up wondering where she'd gone wrong; the disappointed, almost ashamed restful edge of a man you raised you and loved you more than anything and who now paced the hall wondering if the last time he had spoken to you was the last. He knew of everyone ending a conversation in "I love you," as though they were afraid it was their last. He knew of his brother looking sleep and quitting his job to stay and look after him. He knew how much of a burden he was to others, others who tried so hard to save him in a time he hadn't wanted to be saved, but who did anyway because they loved him more than he could ever see. He remembers nights spent crying, falling asleep in a brotherly embrace, trying so hard to did whatever was broken with himself. Months spent treated as a toddler, years spent working so hard to fight yourself in a never ending battle.

And yet.

And yet he thought of how good the release would feel right now, how much he craved for just one moment of peace in his struggle of an life.

Swallowing hard, Newt attempted to clear his head, shaking it slightly as he did so. He soared a dangerous glance at the letter-opener resting on his desk, gulping as he did so. He almost reached for it. Almost. Instead he grasped past it, latching onto a small necklace. The necklace was rather bare, a simple, golden heart attached to a thin, silver chain. Carrying it with him, he practically ran to Dougal's nest. The necklace was charmed, a special link connecting him to his brother. The charm worked similar to a telephone; you simply had to hold it and murmur  _ Alcento _ [Al-see-en-toe] to establish the link. Theseus's matching heart would glow and pulse, letting him now of the incoming call. Once he accepted, he and Nest could speak freely back and forth to one another and when they were finished they simply had to call out the  _ Taescent _ [Tay-see-ent] to end the call.

Sitting down next to Dougal's nest, Nest now called out the  _ Alcento _ for the first time in years. While Nest did talk with Theseus frequently, he typically used owl, thinking of the charm as more of an emergency contact. Theseus had given this to him with fears of nights like this, but this was only Newt's forth time using it. Theseus disapproved of him leaving and travelling alone and so far away, fearing he may relapse, but Nest had calmed his fears and had accepted the gift upon his departure.

Theseas answered quickly now, only sparing a few moments. "Newt! It's been so long since we've used this I had almost forgotten it! I haven't heard from you in quite the while, where have you been; what have you been doing?" His voice alone calmed Nest a considerable amount and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"I-it has been a w-while, hasn't it? I-I've been so busy, I hadn't realized..." Nest trailer off, guilt washing over him as he realized just how long he'd gone without messaging his family at all. He sent out his last owl to them all, informing them he had a new creature-related project and wouldn't be able to talk for a While shortly after he rescued Y/N. They knew nothing of her.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I understand how hyper-focused you get with your little creatures. But I would sent off to mum here soon if I were you, she's been fretten' quite a bit here of the late. Ya know how she gets when you don't write for long. A downright mess you'll become in a week or so. So Newt, are you alright?" Newt smiled, surprised Theseus was actually stopping to let him talk. His brother was a somewhat loud, excitable person. Sometimes he were ramble on for hours without even realizing it and he always put Newt at ease to listen to him.

"No... Not really. A lot's happened since we last spoke. I don't, I don't even know where to start or what to say... I've been really bad lately, really really bad. Everything's seemed to have came back and I don't know how to deal with it all. I can't do this again Thes, I don't think I'm strong enough to." Newt's voice was soft and quiet, barely a murmur at all and Theseus had to strain to hear him. His heart broke hearing the sound of his little brother's voice, broken and afraid in a way that sent him back in time, back to very dark days.

While Theseus hadn't been around to witness Newt's dark spiral downward, he had seen the aftermath and the havoc it wrecked on the Scamander household. Dumbledore was the one who had discovered Newt, barely alive after hours in the forest. He had always had a soft spot for Newt, but seeing how deeply the boy was hurt had crushed something inside of him. He has scooped a still unconscious Newt up, rushing him to the infirmary. He took the poor boy to the head nurse, watching over him as he was healed. He took charge of the boy, telling the headmaster he would cover everything of the boy's including the contacting of his parents. But Dumbledore didn't immediately send off for Mr. and Mrs. Scamander, something told him not to. Instead, he called Theseus. He had seen how close they were earlier when they were in school together and had attempted to comfort Newt when his brother had left, but he knew he wasn't enough. Theseus had flooed over as quickly as wizardly possible, running straight to his little brother. He had laid with Newt that night, and many nights after that, in the small infirmary bed as Newt slowly regained his strength. The official report stated the incident as creature related, and Newt was expelled from Hogwarts.

Theseus had always cared for his brother as best he could, though he hadn't always been the nicest in early childhood years, Theseus had manned up and taken Newt in after Hogwarts. He was one of the very few people who Newt told absolutely everything, and though he didn't quite understand and definitely couldn't relate, he was there for his brother when he needed him most. And he would be there for him now.

Theseus now wished he was right beside his brother instead of halfway across the ocean. "Newt, Newt shh, it's alrigh'. Can you start at the beginning? I'll be right here and I'll help ya with anythin', you know it." Newt had to take several deep breaths before he was calm enough to begin. He was hard, and his throat caught more than once, but he told his brother everything. Absolutely everything.

The next morning, Theseus boarded a ship to sail to America.

***Y/N***

There was no passage of time. Only dark depressing time that never seemed to end. You weren't yourself anymore. You were someone, some _ thing _ else. You no longer had any thoughts of Newt. The name meant nothing to you now and you had no recollection of it ever meaning something to you. You didn't know anything, only that the man you were with was a god. He was above all else and he was powerful in ways you'd never known before. He ruled everything, he ruled you. You were everything after all, everything you knew. You knew pain, yes, but it meant precious little to you. You didn't move much, you didn't speak or think either. You were simply there. Catatonic half the time and diligently obedient the rest. 

The man looked down at you, smiling as you sat there staring into space, completely unmoving. "I think this toy's done for. We need to continue the game." 

  
  



	18. Grindelwald's Game

Theseus's arrival certainly surprised many, though he was warmly welcomed. Graves had actually smiled upon seeing him, one of the few times Newt had seen him break into a wide grin. It changed his entire personality, softening soft edges and lighting his eyes. Theseus's trip had been organized through MACUSA and The Ministry, and Graves had decided to put him up in his apartment, having Newt move his case into the spare room as well. Graves felt more comfortable like that, wanting to have Newt in a secure place as to ensure his safety. Newt didn't mind much, actually feeling somewhat better as he wouldn't have Queenie constantly trying to read his thoughts.

Theseus's wrapped Newt is a warm, loving hug and it almost didn't seem like he would let go. He really, really didn't want to. His little brother had finally let someone into his life and grown close to him only to have them ripped away from him, quite viciously at that. Although Theseus had already been searching for Grindelwald in England, he was out for blood. He would find that bastard and make him pay if it was the last thing he did, he was sure of it.

Newt moving wasn't a big deal, nor was it hard to do. Newt lived out of the case and was continuously in it, so he had no problem simply snapping it close and moving it to a new location. He didn't even mind his new location, barely paying attention to it as he lived in a completely different house nearly. The one things that stood out though, was the silence. While the Goldsteins' house was continually filled with love and voices and smells of baking, Graves' house was a stark contrast with utterly solid silence and a disconnection usually filled in a hospital setting. Yet, Newt didn't mind. He was able to escape into the silence when he was overwhelmed by the animals around him. It was comforting to have his brother nearby as well, and he loved he was able to easily turn to him whenever he needed him. But there wasn't much Theseus could really do. As nice as it was to be close, he could never replace  _ her. _ And Newt missed her so much. Everything around him reminded him of her in a way that hurt so much. He could barely eat or sleep, he was hardly even there. He was half of a person, resolved are barely survive until his other half returned.He functioned enough to care for his creatures, but he himself was wasting away. This was much worse than what he experienced with the betrayal of Luna, worse than the worst day he could image. Queenie had told him he would feel better with time, but it wasn't working.

On bright light in the dark dim era was Credence, or at least what was left of him. It was hard to tell, but Newt believed he was growing each day, thriving in the safety of the case. He had taken to watching over the creatures and though most ignored and even avoided him, a few had warmed to him and would watch him amazed. Newt had to agree with his creatures on this one, amazed by the way Credence's mist twisted and circled, curving around itself and suddenly spreading itself out. He wondered it Credence conscious controlled it, or if he only took control when he wanted and let it float around itself. Newt believed that although the mist was a part of Credence, it was a slightly separate part, and he was unsure if it had a connected but separate mind of it's own or not.

Credence had taken up watching over Newt, nudging to a bowl when he hasn't ate in a while and attempting to push him in the bed when he was desperately sleep deprived. The presence was a comfort to Newt, albit a slightly small one, but one he adored nonetheless. Credence was a constant companion, almost as Y/N had been, and was as silent as her as well. The longer Newt thought, and he had quite some time for that, the more and more he felt they resembled one another.

*****

It was only five days before Newt decided he couldn't take it anymore. He simply couldn't stand just sitting around in his shed waiting for you to simply fall into his lap. All of this waiting was driving him crazy and he decided to take a walk. He wasn't sure where he go, he still wasn't very accustomed to New York nor did he know where anything really was located. In his frustration he threw on his coat, huffing out a puff of air and scaled the ladder in record time. Credence immediately tried to follow as the few times Newt had left his case he had allowed Credence to look around the apartment as well, though he kept him far away from Graves. Newt and everyone knew Grindelwald had been impersonating Graves when he had abused and used Credence and he wasn't sure how Credence would react to seeing the real Graves in his obscure form, but he had decided they shouldn't test the idea to find out. 

Once out of the house Newt already feels a weight lifted off of him. It's as if he can finally breathe again, something he had rarely done since losing her. The feeling surprises him, startled by the realization he was becoming catastrophic in his case, in his home. Shake his head he bites his lip, quickly choosing a direction and walking. He thoughts are jumbled, a disorganized mess that  _ hurts. _ He doesn't really have muggle money, so he ignores the emptiness in his stomach and trudges on. 

The cold air feels heavenly in his almost deaden lungs. It's a shock to his system, but it feels ungodly good, as if he's finally alive. He takes a turn, trailing down a side street that he doesn't recognize. All the side streets off New York look the same to him. Of course London's looked identical as well for the longest time. In his defense, though, London is very different from the rural England countryside he had grew up in. He had lived on an almost farm, giving his mother plenty of room to raise hippograffs. 

30 minutes later and he's utterly lost, sure that he'll never find his way back anywhere. Newt finds himself in the far back alleyways, areas where children are kept away from and tourists have the sense to avoid. But not Newt. Honestly, he couldn't care less if he got mugged as he didn't have anything of value and he could defend himself if need be. 

Shadows danced out of the corners of his eyes, ugly black things morphing and contorting to torment his sanity. Claws seemed to grab at him, arms lurching from the ground, people hiding in the darkness whispering of him and planning their attack. He wouldn't stand a chance, the believed. It'd be the quickest way to make 20 bucks that anyone's ever seen. They sized him up, searching over his thinned shape to find the easiest opening. The only thing that stopped them was his purposeful gaunt. He walked in a way that showed his importance, though really it was indifference. He really didn't care, honestly couldn't care, and it showed, putting a stop to many planned attacks. 

He had been walking for nearly an hour when he finally gave up, simply unable to push himself further. He sighed heavily flipping an overturned crate and sitting down hard. He was a puppet whose strings had been cut and he couldn’t move any more. For not the first time, he wondered what his life would be like if he never found her again. He liked to think they’d find her body at the very least. Though it pained him to think of her as dead, it was outstandingly better than the alternative. Just this sort of uncertainty never knowing, never having a sense of closure. His mind flashed back to the war, of all the young kids who’d died and whose pares will never lay their body to rest. he’d put a lot of effort into forgetting the war, even using some of Swooping Evil’s venom to force himself to forget he refuses to open the box now, unwilling to relive more painful memories of the past.

Newt curls into himself, wrapping an arm around his stomach. He closes his eyes briefly as he wages an internal war.  He focuses on his breathing, taking slow steady breaths in an attempt to fend off a panic attack.  Hours seem to pass as he calms himself down though he realistically realizes it's only been minutes if not seconds. He head still hurts, but he forces himself to stand up. He wasn’t able to really remember what happened, but he had faint glimpses or something that seemed far away. His head hurt every time he tried to think of it. He wasn’t sure if it was a side effect of his medicine, but he wanted to write it down as part of his research. He also should ask Graves if he felt anything similar. After his time in captivity with Grindelwald impersonating him, Graves developed PTSD, to an unmanageable level. He was paranoid all the time, suffering from extreme panic attacks almost every time he left his flat. Newt had been gone by ten, of course, back in London to check on his book. Tina had wrote to him, updating him on Graves and informing him that Graves wished to meet him. He had been confused at first, unsure why Graves should want to actually meet him, but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless. He finished his work quickly, returning to New York by the end of the month. After meeting Graves, Newt felt an almost immediate connection to him. Graves had questioned Newt at length, wanting to know exactly how he had known Graves was being impersonated when he was a complete stranger and those closer to him were completely unaware. Newt had shyly explained his creatures and how Frank, the thunderbird, sensed danger. Frank became unsettled in Grindelwald's presence alerting Newt something was wrong. Having had searched for Dougal in his invisible form multiple times, Newt had trained himself to look past invisibility, disillusion, and even transformation spells. While being interviewed by Grindelwald, Newt noticed the edges of Graves shimmering, splotches of the real person showing under the spell. But overall, it was still just a hunch he had that happened to be correct. Graves, the real one that is, had watched him amazed, profoundly thanking Newt over and over, even once Newt had shied away from the praise. He had denied the necessity at being thanked, saying it was only a coincidence and that anyone would have done it. But Graves shook his head, insistently looking into his eyes for the time the entire meeting, “Grindelwald wouldn’t”. He had immediately looked away, cheeks flaming in shame. Newt had shifted closer, comforting  as best a stranger could, a broken person. Graves had cried, shaking, with the pain and fear he had attempted to hold in, but was always unable to. The next morning Graves, having slept off the previous night, Newt had taken him into his house, showing off his small shed. It was in the confined space Newt revealed his long-term project, the perfect potion to erase bad memories. Graves had been amazed, staring at Newt as if he was a God, an awestruck and focused gaze that made Newt instantly uncomfortable. He spent the time explaining how everything was still in testing, no concrete evidence was formed, but he was using it and it had a few side effects, a little woozy and lightheaded, a few days following the first dose, but that was the only negative response he had found. Of course, he had also sent Frank into the air with a much, much smaller dose. Quite a few Muggles had complained of lightheadedness, something that had been written off as another gas leak.

With the help of the medication, Graves was able to move past his past and continue his life as a director. It had been hard going at first, a potion wasn’t able to fix your life automatically, but it did help enormously. Now, thinking of how he had helped Graves, Newt was able to calm himself even able to smile. He was proud he was able to cause others happiness, or at least peace, and it helped him to push on when everything seemed to shove him down.

Newt took a deep breath, rubbing a hand over his face as he forced himself to stand. He closed his eyes, collecting himself one last time before he resolved to find his way home. It had grown darker, the dark menacing alley ways turning into an impossible labyrinth. Frustrated, Newt searched his pockets for his wand, frantically hoping to find it. Did he grab it when he left? He’d been in such a rush to leave and had been trying to convince Credence to stay. God, did he pick it up?

A growl of frustration left Newt as he threw his hands up. Of course he didn’t bring his wand. Why would he do something so useful? Sighing, he attempted to retrace his steps, twisting around all the curves. It wasn’t until he hit a dead end that he finally admitted it, he was truly lost. Kicking the wall, Newt leaned forward, resting his head against it. A crack sounded behind him, something eerily similar to apparate. Newt spun around, reaching for his wand only to realize once again he didn’t have it. But nevertheless, it was Grindelwald, Grindelwald and Y/N.

Grindelwald stood in front of Newt, smirking wickedly. Y/N was standing beside him, lax even with his hand around her neck. Her eyes were unfocused, as if she wasn’t really there, hadn’t been there for quite some time. She was wearing, well nothing, Newt noticed, a blush covering his cheeks as he politely looked away. But he had already seen the damage, how she looked worse now than when he’d first met her.

Grindelwald stepped forward, dragging Y/N with him. “Newt, how well is it to see you. Your little pet, she’s been quite fun, but I’m rather sorry to say I’ll have to return her. Broken goods and all. Hell, I’m sure you understand-”

He was broken off by a cry. A roar, more like, as Newt released all his anger out on Grindelwald. He had no wand to channel his magic, so raw, pure power now escaped him and attacked Grindelwald, pushing him back. He disapparated, traveling away from Newt as quickly as possible, so his magic wasn’t leached by the sheer force of Newt’s.

In the aftermath, there was a thud. The crash of a limp, lifeless body hitting the ground. Aghast, Newt turned to Y/N, finding her in a heap on the cobblestone ground. He ripped off his coat, covering her as he dropped beside her. He shook as he gathered her in his arms, holding her against him as he cried. He murmured to himself as he held her, how everything would be alright and she was okay. With one hand he grabbed his amulet, something he had forgotten he even had. He held it as cries racked his body, holding it so tightly he felt the cold metal slice into his hand. 

 


	19. Hanging On

Theseus was still at MACUSA when his charm began to burn. An alert went up on every magic watch system the organization had, a large, explosive wave of raw magic having been released. Theseus knew Newt was involved, informing Graves the relevance of the incident. Madam President Picquery was gearing the best Aurors to handle the situation when Graves and a frantic Theseus broke in. They disapparated immediately, arriving on the scene less than a minute after it happened. Theseus was first, running to his brother and falling to his side. He had lifted Newt’s head, who was physically shaking, asking gently what had happened. But he just shook his head,  _ nononononononono,  _ and  _ icanticanticanticant, _ in an almost nonsensical stream was the only thing that left his mouth. Theseus had looked to Graves then, seeing the pain pinching one of his best mate’s face as he saw the girl in Newt’s arms. Graves eyes grew wet as he leaned down, gingerly picking Y/N up in his arms. It was as if Newt suddenly came to life, jumping up and grabbing at her, attempting to take her from Graves. Theseus held him back, wrapping his arms around his little brother’s waist, pressing Newt to him as he broke down all over again. Graves called off the other Aurors, who all bowed their heads and stepped back, something typically reserved for fallen brothers in arms. Grave disapparated, the others following quickly. Theseus closed his eyes, holding his brother tightly in an abandoned alleyway. 

 

“She can’t be gone…” Newt murmured, holding his brother close. “She can’t. Please, please Theseus, tell me. Tell me she isn’t gone, Theseus.” His throat closed as he looked down at his brother, the simply man whom life had taken so much from and he’d never asked much from. 

 

“Newt… I can’t promise you that. You know I can’t.” He wiped a hand over Newt’s face, wiping away tears. “Come, we’ll go back to MACUSA. I’ll make you a cup of tea and we’ll talk. Okay?” Newt was still limply laying in Theseus’s arms, so Theseus gathered Newt up in his arms as best as he could, gingerly disapparating back to his makeshift office. It was an unused office on the Aurors floor which had been given to him when he came to America. There was a small chair, soft, with arms that seemed to encircle you as you sat, and Theseus now sat his brother in the chair, hoping it gave him warmth and comfort. He immediately sat his kettle to boil, warming the water before adding a few of Newts favorite herbs and a spoonful of honey. Giving him the mug, Theseus moves his own chair forward, leaning in close to Newt. 

 

“Thanks,” Newt mumbles quietly, eyes downcast. “She’s gone, isn’t she? I’m not, I’m not going to see her again.” 

 

Theseus’s throat closes as he watches his brother.  _ Why?  _ Why does this have to happen to his brother, someone who’s only ever seen the best in the world and has never asked for much. Newt’s the kindest person Theseus’s has ever known, a shine of good in a world that had no much godforsaken hate. “Yeah, Newt. She’s gone…” Newt’s face crumples then, crunching into itself as his shoulder begin to shake, but no tears escape him. 

 

“Come on, let it out. You know it’s not well to keep it all in,” Theseus murmurs, resting a hand on Newt. Newt flinches away, curling in on himself. 

 

“I can’t… it’s like there’s nothing there. I’m empty. I just, I don’t know what to do. The, what do I  _ do? _ ” His voice cracked and he hid his face in his shoulder. 

 

“I don’t kno-” 

 

The door flew open, slamming against the wall and bouncing back. “Newt! Theseus!” Tina stood gasping, “We need you in the infirmary. Now.” 

 

******

 

“She’s alive, but barely. Her breaths are shallow and slow and her heartbeat is irregular, skipping multiple beats in a row. I’m quite frankly not sure how she’s even alive, but we’re stabling her as best we can. She’s flatlined four times in the last hour - she brought herself back three times and we resuscitated the last. We believe she is in a magically induced coma, though we’re not sure which spell was used and if it will wear off or not. Of course, depending on the strength and spell type, the she may awake within a week or so, but, knowing Grindelwald and his uh, unconventional spellwork the effects may be long term or permanent. We are keeping her under 24 hour surveillance until her condition stabilizes.” The head nurse sadly smiled, giving a small nod before dismissing herself. Newt swallows, cotton filling his throat and lungs. She was alive, but practically dead. Theseus is standing behind him on his right and Graves was to the left, both warily awaiting his reaction. 

 

“Ma-may I see her, please?” His voice was quiet, barely a whisper in the defending silence of the room. 

 

“Of course,” Graves replies just as quietly. “She has a private room, right this way.” Leading through a multitude of hallways, Newt finally finds himself facing a rather plain looking wooden door. There were no special carvings orr markers to singalify who’s room it was or if anyone was inside at all. He stands there a moment, gathering his bearings before glancing over his shoulder. 

 

“Theseus, could you retrieve my case for me, please?” Theseus didn’t hide his shock, raising an eyebrow at his brother. He opened his mouth to ask if he was sure before thinking better of it. It was painfully clear this was an excuse for privacy, and Theseus understood. Backing away he left Newt to deal with his demons, or in this case angel, alone. Graves walked with Theseus, speaking softly in respect. 

 

Turning back to the door, Newt slowly opens it, peering his head inside. A nurse is sitting in a bedside chair, and she quickly leaves in respect. 

 

There.   
  
Laying on her back in the center of the bed was y/n. Pillows raised her off the bed slightly, allowing her wings to lay limply on the tables to her sides. She was horrifically pale, an ashen color only death could bright about. Breathing deeply Newt stepped forward, moving to her side. A chair was placed nearby and Newt dragged it over to sit beside her. The room seemed to stand still, holding its breath, the only disturbance being y/n ragged breaths. "Y/n..." Newt murmured, lips barely parting. She showed no response, held captive in her coma-like state. Reaching out Newt held her hand, squeezing it as he prayed for movement.   
  
***   
  
"How long has he been here?"   
  
"Quite a few days. Every since she came in. He refuses to leave her side."   
  
"Poor thing. It's so tragic. You know his brother is Theseus right? He's out for blood, searching for whoever did that to her."   
  
"I heard she's one of Grindelwald victims. That he took her to get back at Newt for exposing him."   
  
"She wasn't even involved, just caught in the crossfire."   
  
Newt straightens up, clearing his throat and shooting a glare at the two nurses standing in the doorway. Blushing, they quickly run off, embarrassed to have been caught. He knew rumors flew quickly throughout MACUCA and most of the where current revolving around him and y/n. It had been two weeks since the incident and y/n had yet to make any sort of recovery. There were still a few moments were her heart slipped too many beats or she stopped breathing altogether, but the staff had been able to quickly revive her. It was thought she received substantial brain damage, an idea back up by a few brain scans, but no one knew how to heal her. Potions and spells had little noticeable effect and the doctors had nearly given up. Newt, however, refused to. Everyday he would mix and brew different healing potions to give to her, holding his breath as he awaited results. But she was still not awake.   
  
Her body, however, was slowly healing. Dark bruises lightened before fading away and cuts slowly closed themselves. Her wings were were still worse for wear, shredded to near nothingness and nearly unrecognizable. Newt had the theory that once she was healed, she would wake, but it seemed less and less probable the longer she was frozen.   
  
Smiling softly at her Newt stood, opening his case. Stepping down he rushed through caring for his creatures, a once enjoyable task now daunting. It was no longer a break for him, something he could do that would relax him. Now he only viewed it as something that separated him and y/n. And almost all his creatures could sense his shift in mood. They themselves became more defensive and on edge, fights breaking out between them more common. Others retreated as much they could, hiding any way that were able. Dougal and Credence tried to comfort him as much as possible, but Newt pushed aside their efforts. He didn't believe he needed help of comfort. He needed her back.   
  
Jasmine became the clingliest, hiding in his coat and staying close to y/n whenever possible. Although it was annoying at times, it comforted Newt to know he wasn't the only one who missed her terribly. Frank acted out as well, once attempting to leave the case has he wished to see her. That had broke Newts heart to see, hearing the way Frank cried out for y/n, pushing forward when he doesn't hear a reply. That night he had spent with Frank laying together. Newt has allowed Frank to cover him with his wing as he had done to her, pretending to himself it was her wing.   
  
He now shuffled around the case, feeding everyone before grabbing some oils and heading back out. Newt figured y/n's wings could use a little help healing as they weren't doing much on their own. He has noticed they were naturalized oiled, as many birds' were, and they had lost their gleam while she was asleep. He had mixed healing magic into the oil to hopefully help the wing heal faster. He took his time, just as he had the first time he cleaned her wings all those months and months ago. He straightened as many feathers as he could, gently running his fingers over each one and separating them from each other. Some were matted with blood and he used a soft, damp rag to wipe off the crusted matter. It hurt him to see feathers fall out, especially knowing it had hurt her the last time, but he now knew it was part of the healing process for her. Most wings molted, so it would only be natural that hers would as well, he presumed. Once each feather was in the correct spot and cleaned as well as he could, he began oiling them. He poured a bit over his hands, softly rubbing them over her feathers. He then worked a little more, rubbing the oil into each and every individual feather. This wasn't the first time he had had to oil wings, oftentimes small abandoned winged creatures needed help with theirs before they learned how to do it on their own and Newt would have to help them. This was definitely the first time he had oiled a person's' wings however.   
  
He worked mindlessly, quickly becoming lost in the action as he hummed quietly to himself. This was comforting for him, soothing. A repetitive motion to keep his mind occupied.   
  
_ "Do you remember what happened to you?" Newt asked softly. Y/n nodded, shifting closer. She was facing him, cheek resting against the back of the chair. Her wings were wrapped around her gently, a blanket wrapped over them and her shoulders. The pen Graves had given her shifted on the paper, gearing to write. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "I remember... I don't think all, but I remember a lot. It's like it's always there, but sometimes it's farther away, almost like it happened to someone else. Others, others it's more real than ever, like its still happening." Newt leaned forward, reaching a hand out and setting it over hers. She tensed for a moment, but relaxed, leaning forward pushing her forehead toward him. Newt's eyes darted to the side, head tilting away slightly. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "Do... Do you remember your parents?" She frowned, looking down. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "I remember a little. Not much though. I had a little sister and she was, she was precious. She had these doe eyes that were so hard to say no to. I remember my mother, vaguely. She was warm and always smelled like vanilla." She paused, smiling to herself. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Newt was glad to see her smiling, even if it was sadly. He wasn't sure if he should ask for more or not, scared to push her too far and scare her off. This wasn't for his book anymore and he hoped she knew that. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "My mum, I felt the same about her. She was always so warm and caring. My brother, Theseus, he was the troublemaker and I was her favorite. Theseus was dad's favorite, though neither one of them would admit it out loud. I was the mama's boy and he was going to carry on dad's legacy. Mom raises hippogryphs, I guess that's where I got my love of animals from. She always let me care for her creatures with her, teaching me the importance of all animals, large and small. Everyone has a purpose, everyone makes some kind of difference, even if it is small. That's always been a comfort for me. To others, even my brother sometimes, what I do for the animals here is useless, pointless, and even stupid sometimes, but I'm making a world of difference to them. I've saved some of their lives." At that moment Jasmine suddenly moved, scurrying out of y/n's blanket. Y/n moved her arm, allowing Jasmine to crawl onto it. They stared at each other, sharing a moment. It confused Newt slightly, but he had began to suspect y/n was able to communicate with animals. He wasn't sure how, maybe it was part of her grace, but it amazed him. Newt supposed it was how she was able to calm them down when there was a fight. It also explained how they would trust her quicker than they had him. Regardless, it was amazing. They would make a great team. The thought struck him suddenly, a wave of realization washing over him. He didn't want to lose her. At first he had thought he would help her get better and find her family or someplace where she could live, but everything had changed. Somewhere along the way he began to view her less of a sick creature and more of a... friend. Maybe even more than friends. He studied her for a moment, looking at her in a new light. He felt comfortable around her, felt like he was more than himself. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "Newt?" His eyes snapped over to the paper which the pen was still resting above, stilled once more having conveyed it's message. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "Hm?" he responds, looking over the paper still. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "Thank you. For everything." Newt nodded, squeezing her hand slightly. _ _   
_ _   
_ __ "It's nothing. You deserve so much more." The last words were barely a whisper, but they raised a blush on both their checks. She leaned over the edge of his chair, closing her eyes. Within minutes she had fallen asleep, Newt caring her to bed and tucking her in.  The moment seemed like forever ago, and it had been quite some time, but it all seemed so much farther away. She was happy then. It was one of the few moments he had been able to make her smile after she realized Boss was out.   
  
A loud knock brought Newt back to the present. He had finished one wing and was nearly finished with the second. "Come in," he called, quickly working to finish her second wing. The door slowly opened, pushed open by his brother. Theseus strode in confidently, caring papers. He paused seeing Newt's actions, but quickly composed himself.   
  
"Newt! I have wonderful news for you!" he exclaimed, nearby bouncing in his steps. "A letter just arrived from the Ministry. There's a series of creature related injuries and I've convinced them to let you try and find the beast before they go on a killing rampage throughout London-"   
  
"Theseus-"   
  
"I mean, it obviously isn't great because people are currently getting hurt-"   
  
"Theseus-"   
  
"But I believe it's wonderful they've given you a chance-"   
  
"Theseus!" Newt insists more firmly, standing up. He sighs softly, deflating some. "Y/n."    
  
Theseus closes his eyes for a moment, breathing slowly. "Newt, I know you love her but-"    
  
"But nothing, Theseus. I'm not just going to leave her here. What if she wakes up and I'm not here? She could panic; she knows practically know one else and she's most comfortable around me. She could hurt herself if she feels unsafe."   
  
"But what if she doesn't?" The words were soft, yet forceful, and certainly powerful in the quiet room. "Newt, I understand where you're coming from, but what if she never wakes up? Are you going to put your entire life on hold? For her? What about you're creatures? I know practically nothing of their care, but even I can see you've been neglecting them recently. Not to mention you do hardly anything for yourself. You have to care for yourself too, you know, not everything is about her. It's been days, and her condition hasn't changed. According to the doctor, the best doctor in the Americas, it isn't likely to change. For all we know, she's brain dead and will never  wake up!" Theseus's voice had raised, shouting at the end. Deafening silence enclosed the siblings as soon as the words left the elder's mouth.    
  
Newt was shell-shocked, stunned past the point of belief. Tears welled in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them back. Swallowing thickly, he gathered his case, gripping it as he quickly exited. Long, nimble fingers twitching and twisting on the handle of his case.    
  
******   
  
It's Queenie who finds him later. He's sitting at a quaint little bakery. Jacob's to be exact, but he had already left for the day. Newt had taken over a corner seat, sipping tea as he mulled over... everything. He didn't budge when a body slipping into the booth beside him, but he flinched when a hand landed on his forearm. "Your brother, he only wants what's best for him dear, you know that."   
  
"Well the bloke doesn't know everything, does he? How's he to know what's best, or even what's right?" Newt stretched his arms out, popping his shoulder and twisting his neck before  falling back inside himself.    
  
"Of course he doesn't, but at least he's trying, right? Isn’t it better that he’s trying, even if he is failing, then for him to not try at all?” Newt mumbled his consent, deflating and laying his head across his arm. “And do you really want to abandon your passion for your creatures for Y/N? Is that what she would want?” 

 

“I’m not abandoning my passion or my creatures. I just… I don’t want to do it alone anymore. I’ve never met anyone who loved everyone as much as I do, who would be content traveling the world with a crazy man and living out of a suitcase. But she would have.” Queenie’s lips flicked down in a frown as she quickly thinked of a new angle. 

 

“You won’t be alone anymore. You have Tina, Jacob, and I. And your brother. We’re all here for you. We just don’t want to see you hurt. And you have been neglecting your creatures lately. I know you don’t mean to, but you have been, even  _ I  _ can tell.” 

 

“I’m not neglecting them -” Newt protested, growing angry. Why couldn’t people just see it his way? He couldn’t leave her, it’d kill him. 

 

“Maybe not neglecting them, but you haven’t been yourself lately and they can tell. Everyone can. The way you’re living, it isn’t healthy. We all only want what’s best for you.” Newt’s lip curled at the last word.  _ Only what’s best for you.  _ Obviously no one believed that Y/N  _ was _ what was best for him, and no one would listen. They only treated him like a child who wanted a toy. Couldn’t they see  _ they _ were hurting him? That this wasn’t a debate over an inanimate object, this was a  _ person _ , someone who had thoughts and feelings, and obviously more care in her heart than they did. 

 

Queenie could hear Newt’s thoughts and recoiled quickly, unsure of how to help him. What could she say to make it better, when nothing would? “I’m sorry you feel that way, Queenie. It seems we have a strong difference of opinion. I really should get going. I’ll see you later.” With that he was up and out of the store in the blink of eye. Case in hand and a plan slowly forming he ran to MACUSA, climbing the stairs to Y/N’s room. He ducked in the room quickly, sercuity letting him by without a problem due to the many times he visits. Hell, he’s practically lived in the room, visiting his suitcase for necessities while visiting her. He enters his suitcase now, climbing down the stairs quickly, almost stumbling over the last one. 

 

“Hello, Credence,” Newt greets the black fog hanging near him. “I’m going to do something and I need your help. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I need you to stay as far away from the door as possible. We’re going to have a new guest and I want them to get comfortable before they meet you, alright?” Newt was rushing around as he spoke, running and grabbing supplies from around the shed and taking them to the room he had previously set up for Credence. If it could keep Credence in, Newt figured it could also keep him out. As he has said, it wasn’t as if Newt didn’t trust Credence, or even believed that he would hurt her, Newt was just afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep himself away from her. He had seen the reaction she had had to the other Obscurial he kept in his case. It had seemed impossibly drawn to her, and the first time it got in her close vicinity, it seemed to have electurated her somehow. As soon as it got close to her, sparks flew between her and it, lighting up her wings and rendering her unconscious. She hadn’t seemed to remember it afterwards, believing she had just gotten faint according to Queenie. Newt wasn’t sure what had happened between them, but he made sure to keep it away from her and he really didn’t want anything to happen between her and Credence. 

 

Rushing through the room he quickly prepared it for her, making the bed and setting up a small makeshift monitor near the bed. It wasn’t much, but it would last until he had more time and would alert him if anything went wrong. Turning back to Credence, Newt observed him twitch twice, his way of telling Newt yes, he understood. Newt nodded to himself in confirmation, “Good, good. I’ll out get her right now and I’ll be back shortly. Please, hide yourself. She hasn’t had the best past and I believe she would be frighten.” Newt hated lying to Credence, but there wasn’t enough time to explain everything. He wanting to get along with things quickly before anyone noticed or raised an alarm. 

 

Climbing out of the case he returned to her room. His panic and rush left him the second he laid eyes on her. She seemed so peaceful, so tranquil. It was as if time around her had froze and she was locked away. She was his sleeping beauty, put to sleep by a terrible evil she had no hope of overcoming on her own, but, hopefully, with his help she would be able. 

 

Clearing his thoughts he came closer to her, looking over the monitor beside her for any clue of how to turn it off. Looking over it, he could see no buttons or switching, on a ‘mode’ toggle which would allow the nurses to view different information about her such as heart rate, blood pressure, ect. Newt knew it must be magically controlled somehow, but he had no idea of a spell he could use to disable it without breaking it. For all he knew, breaking it would send out an alarm, but he was sure removing her from the bed without first turning it off somehow would give off an even larger alarm. Given she was under high protection from Mr. Graves and Madam President, Newt didn’t want to trip any alarms too early and risk someone stopping him. 

 

Grumbling in frustration he grabbed his wand, muttering  _ Baubillious _ , a breaking curse, to disable the machine. With one soft  _ ping! _ the machine broke, cramping and curling within itself. Holding his wand in his teeth, he scooped up Y/N, carrying her bridal style down the ladder. It was difficult with her unconscious and barely having one free hand, but he didn’t want to use magic to carry her down as he didn’t know how she react to it. The head nurse had told him to be careful using spells around her as they could react to whatever spell she was under and could potentially make her worse or even kill her. 

 

Finally making it down the ladder, Newt ran to the spare room, barely noticing some creatures had taken note of his actions and began following him, Frank especially. As Newt entered the room, Frank had tried to butt himself in the room with them, but Newt had absent mindedly pushed him out of the way, insuring his makeshift monitor was working properly before leaving. Once it was set up, he dashed out of the room, once more scaling the ladder before promptly closing his case and looking around. He took a few moments to take in the room and calm his breathing. It had seemed no alarms where set off yet and he didn’t hear any footsteps running to the room, so he figured no one had noticed her missing yet. Newt calms himself down, knowing it would be terribly suspicious if he ran out of MACUSA, and he would certainly be stopped before he even made it out of the door and his entire plan would fail. 

 

Casually picking up his case, Newt stepped forward, striding confidently to the door and exiting quietly. Keeping his eyes down, something that wasn’t too odd and eye-catching, he briskly made his way to the front of the building. He was almost through the doors when a someone stopped him. “Newt! Newt! May I have a word with you?” Graves called, waving him down as he rushed over. 

 

“Of course, Mr. Graves. Is anything wrong?” Newt tried to put on a calm front, but his fingers aniously toyed with the locks on his case. It was one reason they were always broke, he supposed, he would fiddle with them almost continually. He other hand returned to his coat pocket, smoothing his fingers over the feather he keep there. Newt had kept every feather Y/N lost and he often held onto one when he missed her, something he had been doing a lot recently. 

 

“No, no, nothing's really wrong. I just wanted to have a word with you. Theseus told me you had gotten in an argument, and I wanted to tell you, for what it’s worth, your brother is trying to help you. I know it may not seem like it; I’m sure it feels like he’s trying to swaddle you, that he pities you, and I know what that feels like. After my, incident, everyone in the office walked on eggshells around me. They all blamed themselves and felt bad for me, and I  _ loathed _ it. It was hard not to snap at everyone the way they acted, and trust me, I did let a little anger out on them.” He paused, chuckling to himself for a moment. Newt appreciate the thought and that Graves only wanted to help him too, but every moment here was a moment too long and one that could get him caught, a dreadful idea. “But anyway, you’re not alone. You’re cared for, and Y/N is too. None of us were as close as you two of course, but I can guarantee even Theseus and myself have wept for her. She should’ve had to gone through what she did, what she still is. Everyone blames themselves for Grindelwald getting her, not as much as I’m sure you blame yourself, but we do, especially me. I should’ve seen that bastard coming and I should have stopped him. Regardless, we are tracking him now and I promise you, if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll put him behind bars, by god. I swear to you.” Anger flashed in his eyes, but pain did as well, Newt noticed as his flicked his eyes up to meet his. His words comforted him greatly, wetting his eyes with emotion. Newt had but a fraction of an idea of the torture Y/N had went through, but Graves did. He was one of Grindelwald’s victims as well, and he could understand her better than ever. Swallowing thickly Newt nodded, blinking furiously to hold back tears. In a moment of bravery, he leaned forward, wrapping Graves in a hug. 

 

“Thank you.” The words were weak, barely audible, but Graves held onto Newt tighter, nodding. Releasing from the hug, Newt stepped back, picking up his case which he hadn’t even remembered sitting down. “Thank you, for everything. I would love to stay and talk, but I must be getting off. I’ll hopefully see you soon though.” It was a lie, Newt truly hoped he wouldn’t be seeing him soon, and though he hated lying through his teeth, he really needed to leave. 

 

“Wait, where are you rushing off to? I had assumed you were here visiting her?” Frown lines formed on Graves’ face and he asked the question. Newt just knew he was going to be found out, right here and now. This would be the question that gave him away. Stopping himself from hyperventilating, Newt breathed out his nose, desperately trying to find an excuse. 

 

“I have just seen her.” Not a lie, not really. And Theseus always said the best lies were half-truths. “I’m off to see my brother, actually. I believe we need to have a conversation ourselves.” Half lie: the first part definitely was, but Newt  _ did _ believe he needs to talk things out with his brother. He despised himself for lying, but realistically knew he wouldn’t get away with the truth. 

 

Graves accepted his words with another nod, lips quirked up in a smile as he turned to leave. Newt signed out a soft breath of relief as he walked the last few feet to the door. Just before he crossed the threshold, a blaring siren went off throughout the entire building, frightening many. The scene quickly became chaos, witches and wizards breaking into a run in an attempt to find out what was wrong. Newt sped up, exiting and turning the corner before disappointing as quickly as he could manage. The split second before his feet left the ground he thought he heard someone calling his name. 

 

******

 

Landing in a small alleyway, Newt exited, finding his way to the loading docks. A receptionist sat in a cramped ticket booth, one with no line. It was Sunday, an unusually slow day as many people took off from work to travel. “Ma’am,” Newt began, looking up shyly at her. “May I have one ticket please. For a boat leaving today?” 

 

She looked puzzled, raising an eyebrow. “Where would you like to travel? We have twelve ships leaving today.” 

 

Newt considered his options, but he really didn’t have a particular place he wished to go. As long as it was as far away from New York as possible. “Which one leaves the soonest?” 

 

The woman looked down at her papers, shuffling one before she found what she was looking for. “Sir, we have a cargo ship leaving for Africa in 10 minutes. It carries crew and 20 passengers and 14 places are booked.” 

 

“Africa would be perfect. One ticket please.” 


	20. African Home

#  Newt's POV

The ride to Africa was harsh and unforgiving, especially to Newt's psyche. The ship was so cramped Newt had two roommates and he wasn't able to check his case as often as he would have liked. And whenever he wasn't in the case, he felt as if he was underwater, struggling to breath. He knew he was almost obsessed, panicking every time she was an arms length away. It was completely unreasonable, something he certainly knew, but every second he wasn't with her, he felt as if something bad would happen. His thoughts were consumed by disaster, constantly worried each breath she took would be her last. He held his own breath each time he checked on her, his entire being filling with dread at the idea he may walk into her room and find her dead. Even in his sleep, images of her lifeless, lax body laying in his arms filled his nightmares. He would often wake in the middle of the night shaking, sweating, face wet with tears as he softly called out for her. This was the first trip that he hated traveling slow. Quick travel by portkey put his creatures on edge, so he preferred travel by ship, taking the time to reorganize his notes and put more of his book together, but now he grew restless. Every minute he stayed on the boat was a minute too long, a minute of Y/N's precious life that was wasted away, a minute that meant she could be dead the next. 

After many terrible nights at sea, Newt finally landed at Freeport. With his job, he had often spent long periods of time on boats, but it seemed this trip was the most brutal. Once landing he quickly left the town, traveling a few miles away to a small village, Obwalki (Obe-wall-key). It was a small clan of witches and wizard who's magic had scared the officials of the town and they were given the option of relocating or facing prosecution. Their fear, however, never stopped them from visiting the medicine man or the oracles of the time. As Newt entered the village, he was almost immediately greeted by the current oracle, Sie (Sigh-ee). He was a powerful seer, able to look nearly six months in the future and they weren't limited to his nearby area; he could see nearly 7,000 miles away at the time. He also had almost absolute control over his powers, able to induce visions on his own through medicine and meditation. Newt had visited two years prior after hearing of a rambunctious wild animal terrorizing the clan and nearby villages. He had rushed over only to find it was a simple graffhorn. He had excitedly brought him into his case, introducing him to his female graffhorn. The clan hadn't understood why he was so excited but were glad he had removed it from their land. They had extended their gratitude, offering for him to stay with them. At the time Newt had politely declined, planning a small expedition across Africa to study other creatures, but now he hoped they would welcome him back. 

Now, walking up to Newt, Sie extended his hand in greeting. "Can't say we happy to see you, but glad you well." Newt laughed lightly, looking down. He had that effect on many clan and tribes around the world, presumably because he came when they were in danger. 

"Yes, I'm glad to see you're well too. I hope you won't mind if I stay a few days, I wish to do more graffhorn research and hoped I could study them in a more natural habitat." It wasn't quite a lie, he had made the plans on his trip here, but there certainly were underlying reasons to his visits. So far away from New York, Newt didn't suspect Tina, Theseus, and others would immediately search for him here. Sie, however, squinted his eyes in return. 

“You good man, but I not believe you. What you do harm us?” His English was clipped, something Newt had already known from experience, but hearing it once more still startled him slightly. He was very, upfront about his views, and honesty that Newt rarely saw but readily welcomed. It was a fresh change from the laying and distrustful people Newt often met in large cities around the world. 

“No, no, no. Of course not, and you’re right, that’s not the full truth, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you everything, I’m sorry. I have a friend who’s sick and I’m trying to make her better. I thought Africa would be a quiet place to hide out until she regained her strength.” Sie smiled this time, nodding along to his answer. 

“I thought someone sick. Saw girl laying down, beat up bad, thought it may be something with you. I have spare hut  by mine, you stay there?” He began guiding Newt to the spare hut, a small, dome-like structure made mostly from mud and clay. It wasn’t much, but it was more than enough for Newt has he had his case, something Sie remembered from last time. 

“Yes, thank you. This will be plenty for me, thank you for welcoming me.” Newt cautiously made his way into the hutt, setting his case on a small work table in the corner. 

“No problem. You say girl sick? Could medicine man help her?” Sie inquired, hovering at the doorframe of the hut. Even if he owned the place, he was currently lending it to Newt and it was rude to enter someone’s home without explicit permission first. 

Glancing back up at Sie, Newt smiled shyly, glad he was being welcomed so easily. He thought the question over for a moment, pondering the pros and cons. African witches and wizards had different magic than his own, theirs being more centered around nature than almost any other wizarding culture. It was simple magic, sure, but they mixed more of their magic with natural occurrence, finding adding healing spells to salve that had healing properties nearly tripled the potential effect of the treatment. “I actually would like to speak with him sometime tomorrow, if it wouldn’t be a bother. I would love to hear his opinion and if there is anything he could do for her.” Newt doubted any of them had heard of her kind; the most he could find is her species was native to colder temperatures and the last known clan of her people was location in Wales and and they were wiped out at least a thousand years ago. 

“I not think he busy tomorrow. He be able help her.” Newt nodded, looking away, saddened. He wasn’t sure anyone could really help her anymore, not sure if she would ever wake up. He didn’t know what he would do without her, but he knew this was the first step in the right direction. He would continue working, even if he watched over her at the same time. Now that he thought about, it would be interesting to learn from the local medicine man; he would surely have different and unique methods to treat patients of all kinds, from people to half-breeds to even beasts themselves. He made a mental note to find a new notebook to start his healing work. He had a small notebook of spells and potions that he used to treat his creatures, but it was nearly full and could barely hold anymore. 

“Thank you, once again, for everything you’ve done for me. It means a lot to me, truly.” Sie nodded solidly, before turning and walking off. Newt smiled in the direction he had walked off in, distracted for a moment in his own thoughts. Clearing his head, he turned to his case once more, climbing down and checking over everyone. He had been nearly an entire day since he’d seen them, him having set up automatic feeding since he knew his visits would be sparse. He greeted Frank warmly, stroking under his chin just the way Newt knew he liked it. Frank made a small chirping noise, pushing his head into Newt’s chest. Using his beak to push Newt, he directed him to Y/N’s room, the door still keeping her safely locked away. He made a small whining then, fluffing his wings out in displeasure. “I know, I know. You miss her too. We all do.” Dougal made his way over to Newt now, stretching his arms up to climb Newt. Jasmine was perched on Dougal’s shoulder, having become much closer to him and Frank since Y/N’s disappearance. As Newt lifted Dougal, Jasmine jumped onto his shoulder, running a lap around his neck. Newt smiled softly at her actions, gently rubbing the top of her head and down her back. “I’m going to make her better. I promise,” Newt only hoped it was a promise he could keep. 

*****

The next morning he woke up early, having spent the night in his case, even though there was a bed in the hut he was staying in. He hadn’t even slept in his own bed, instead laying down in the soft grass in his case. The creatures felt safer knowing he was nearby and many had left their areas to lay next to and on top of him. He even woke to find Credence hovering above them all, staying a respectable distance away so as not to frighten anyone. “Good morning, Credence,” he greeting, standing up carefully and moving the animals off of him. Out of all of the creatures, he knew for sure Credence understood him, so he spoke to him the most. Even if he was only able to answer yes or no, it was comforting to know someone could understand him. Newt had no doubt some of the more intelligent creatures understood some things, all of them understood food for example, but he also knew they mostly relayed on his tone of voice, not able to grasp the full meaning behind most words. 

He quickly went through the routine of feeding everyone, flying some food out. He didn’t like to do it too often because flying food tended to upset some of the creatures, but he knew most didn’t mind and he wanted to prepare for his meeting with the medicine man. Returning to his office/main room he quickly looked across the shelves, searching for an empty notebook. He tended to write quite a bit down, so he knew to stockpile notebooks like gold and it was the most received gift anyone ever gave him. Almost every holiday and birthday, his parents and often brother would give him notebooks, which he would always find a use for. Selecting a good sized, red-orange book, he set to writing the introduction. In all of his record books he had a brief introduction at the beginning so he could go back and read over it if he ever forgot what he wrote down in said notebook. It was the easiest way to keep track of everything for him. 

As he finished the introduction, simply stating he was currently in Africa and researching new and different healing methods, he left it open for the ink to dry. By this time, Credence had grown tired of watching the creatures and drifted into the room to see what Newt was doing. “Hello there,” Newt greeted without glancing up. He could almost sense Credence presence because of the power he emitted. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be in the case today. I’m going to speak with a local medicine man and he’s going to see if he can help Y/N. I don’t know if he’s ever met an Obserial, I highly doubt he has, and he’ll probably be in a bit of a shock over the other animals, so try not to startle him, alright?” Looking up fully Newt smiled up at Credence, who quickly agreed. His eyes traced over the form of the mist, making note of the size difference. “Credence, do you know if you are growing?” He paused for a moment, waiting for him to cautiously say yes. “Do you feel any stronger? Do you believe you may be able to return to your corpal form?” Newt asked eagerly, giving his completely attention to the boy above him. The lack of answer told Newt enough, as did the slow way the mist backed up. Newt supposed Credence had rarely had a lot of attention on him previously, so he had only been with Newt a relatively short amount of time, and most all of it in a noncorpal form. It was unlikely he had build up a large amount of trust with the boy, although he assumed his actions spoke louder than words and Newt’s helping him in a time of need had to account for something. Regardless, Newt was going to make Credence as comfortable as possible. Glancing away, he continued, “I’m not sure if you’ll slowly heal over time and grow stronger until you have enough power to control or form or not. The previous Obserial I had met was very different from you, much, much weaker. She had trouble staying in one form or the other, switching back and forth at a speed that often caused her physical harm. I had thought separating the Oberius from her would help her regain strength, but I was very wrong. I certainly won’t make the same mistake with you.” Watching him out of the corner of his eye, Newt watched Credence seem to relax. Finding his ink now dry he prompt another book on top of his new medicine one, flipping Credence to a blank page. He quickly recorded his observations of his size and his theory of its relation to his power before stowing it away. He carried his new medicine book to his shed, frantically looking through his various materials until he found what he was looking for. It was respectful to bring a food offering of some kind when you visit another in this village, so Newt searched for some hidden fruit he had. It was one of Dougal’s favorite, strawberries, and he had to keep them cooled and hidden away from the pesky creature who loved going through his things. Dougal watched him now as he retrieved them, large eyes begging for a single piece of fruit. Sighing Newt gave in, dropping a single strawberry into Dougal’s hands before quickly exiting his case. Newt looks around, unsurprised by the lack of people. The sun is just beginning to rise and, with it, people slowly wake up. Out the window of the hut he watches as a woman holding a baby begins making a fire. It will stay lit most of the day, cooking food for everyone on and off. Not many people  have wands, most of them mastering wandless and often wordless magic as they grew. There is a wizarding council in Africa, the Great Wizarding Council of Africa, or GWCA, as well as smaller councils for the populated countries, but Sierra Leone didn’t have one and GWCA was located in Nigeria, too far away to help smaller clans throughout the continent. He watches the mother sit the baby down to set a pot of water to boil. An older boy, a toddler probably, wobbled to the baby. Holding his hand out he practiced magic, attempted to force a twig to fly through the air. The stick only rose a few inches off of the ground before abruptly falling down, but both boys were pleased nonetheless. Newt couldn’t help smiling at the baby, who was jiggling and clapping his hands. He was left to wonder what it would be like to have kids of his own. He’d surely have to settle down first, a thought that terrified him. Newt often was contient to live in the moment, unbothered by worry of the future, but he took a moment to imagine himself in 5 or 10 years. His case was his home,  but he wanted to find a permanent one, presumably in England. London was far too busy for him, but he could find a nice town farther away from the hustle and bustle of the eager town. He dreamt it would be a small house, only 2 or 3 bedrooms, but it would have a large yard. A spacious green field for all of his creatures, and potentially children, to grow and play. Of course not all of the creatures; he hoped to return most of them to their proper habits once they were all healed, but somewhere too attached to leave, like Pickett, or unable to fend for themselves well, like Dougal who lost his claws to the blackmarket. Others, thought, he knew would be hard to see go, such as Frank. Newt had been somewhat surprised when Frank returned to him, obviously very unhappy with New York. Newt had once again set out to return him to Arizona, but that was when he found Y/N. Ah, Y/N. In his head she was awake, healthier than ever. Grindelwald was captured, finally executed, even though the thought of someone dying made Newt very uncomfortable. She would be there with him, he hoped. Lovingly at his side, smiling up at him as she feed Dougal. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he suddenly realized, shocking even himself. But it was true, without a doubt, he never wanted to live a day without Y/N by his side, a truly terrifying thought. It had been months since he first met her and now dreaded living without her. 

He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts by a voice calling out to him in greeting. He hadn’t met the medicine man last time he was here, so he jumped to greet him. “Ho!” Newt greeted, nodding his head to the new stranger. The man stood at his height, although maybe an inch taller. He wore more elaborate clothes than the rest, long beige pants and an unbuttoned white shirt. Tattoos decorated his chest and upper stomach, intricate works all in deep black that shone against his fairer skin tone. Many of them looked similar to spell patterns, but they were interlocked with a vine like pattern. There were other patterns and images; one picture snaked around his waist, halfway hidden by his shirt, that looked extremely similar to Sekhmet, the egyptian god of healing. Smiling Newt continues, “I am Newt Scamander. Nice to meet you.” 

The man returned Newt’s smile, smirking at him as he offered his own hand, shirt sleeve rolling up to reveal more black ink, but it was harder to see the meaning behind the markings. “Nice to meet you as well. I am Asim (Uh-seem). I am the local healer; I hear you carry an ill girl with you?”

“Ah, yes! My, um… friend, she was kidnapped and the man put her under a number of spells and the healers in America were unable to help her. I came to Africa to escape him and keep her safe, but Sie said you could maybe help her?” Asim smiled, nodding at the compliment. Of course, Newt didn’t know his true skill level, but he did trust Sie. 

“I shall thank him for his generosity. I have traveled through many lands to study my work, kin to you, and work hard to learn. I be honored to help you anyway in need. Kin should stick together, you know.” Newt nods, a piece clicking into place.  _ That _ was what was different about him. 

“You aren’t from here are you? Are you from Egypt?” That explained his lighter skin and the meanings of his tattoos - why he would had an Egyptian god on his chest. Asim was also an off name for someone from Sierra Leone. 

“Yes, I was born in Egypt, but began travels when I aged. My father worked for the council there and hoped I would follow in his steps, but…” Asim trailed off, looking more of behind Newt than at him. Newt understood the feeling, that you couldn’t  _ make _ yourself look someone in the eye. There was so much hidden in others eyes you could never know what they would see in your, a terrifying thought for Newt. “I’m not made for the job. ‘A weak man walks others’ paths; strength is forging a new path in the sand.’”

"That's a beautiful saying; I will understand if for the future. I was definitely one who made a new path..." Newt trailed off and there was an awkward lull in the conversation. Newt inwardly cursed himself for his nervousness. Why couldn't he talk to others like a normal person? He snaps out of his inner punishment, glancing over to his case. "Um, Y/N is in my case if you would like to follow me...?" Asim looked back to Newt, nodding and looking to the case in confusion. This brought a wry smile out of Newt, enjoying the mystery that shourded his case. He stepped forward, kneeling down to open it. With hesitation, Newt stepped down, adding a bit more of fluish to his step than he normally did, though he'd never admit it. 

Asim stared down into the case with alarm evident on his face. A small chuckle bubbled out of Newt, corner of his lips turning up in amusement. "Come, you can step down. It's perfectly safe." Asim steps down, slowly stepping down as if it terrified he would fall. It was a very common reaction, one nearly everyone had upon entering his case. Except for his brother, of course. The spell work was terribly extensive and Theseus had regularly put time aside over and over to help Newt build it, constructing most of it so all that was needed was a tri-annual reinforcement, using as little energy as possible from Newt. 

Stepping falling into the case, Asim looked around, wonder and excitement taking over his features. "This is... this is incredible. You do this yourself?" His accent seemed to grow thicker, the man dropping away any fasace he has possibly held in his amazement. 

"Oh no, no, no. My brother helped me structure it, helped develop the weather patterns throughout the case and such, but I made it my home. Come." He held open the small curtain he had as a door for the shed, relieving parts of the case through the door gap. Asim tiptoed forward, cranning his head to look farther before actually venturing in. Newt showed off the animals closest to the shed, Fred flying down in all of his glory to sniff out the stranger, deciding if he is a threat of not. Passing over Asim, Fred approached Newt, headbutting him wide his beak, shoving him hurridly in the direction of Y/N. He made a qwall, not quite warning of danger but voicing his unease. "This is Frank, he's a thunderbird," Newt explained to Asim, focusing more on the creature than the man. "He was close to Y/N before and now he's distressed with her absence. Understandably of course. He doesn't warm to others easily, but he had a bond with her because... well, it would be easier to show you. Follow me."

Newt guiding Asim to Y/N room, using his wand to unlock the spells he had around the room to protect and monitor her. The heavy door fell open to reveal Y/N small frame laying in the center of the bed, wings spread out to her sides in a display and blanket laid tenderly over her. "Oh my..." Asim murmured, eyes widening slightly in shock. "You not tell me she was a Mal'ak... I did not know they could be harmed in such a way." 

Newt looked to him in slight alarm, surprised Asim had recognized her kind, let alone known anything about them. Yes, he had traveled, but they were assumed to be all but extent to what he's found. He never liked to believe others, but in all of his research he'd never been able to find one himself, which he had recorded in his notes. If Asim had met one, that changed everything. Y/N could have a home with others like herself. Even though the idea of parting with her was painful, Newt knew he would as it was the right thing to do. He wouldn't selfishly keep her locked away if she wanted more. He simply couldn't do that to her. 

"What do you know of Mal'akhs'? I tried to research them, but there is little on her species and it's generally believed they are extentic." Newt tried to keep his tone light and helpful, working to not let the disbelief and distrust show through in his voice. 

Asim laughed lightly at that, shaking his head. "No, they are definitely not extentic. I know for sure. I have met one." 

******

_ *Asim flashback* _

_ He was a new to the clan, still unsure of his place and where he belonged. Others looked at him odd for his clothing and tattoos, but no one said anything out of politeness. He knew he was strange, even among the strange people. He couldn't tell why he had decided to relocate here of all places, why this place kept pulling him back from faraway lands, but this land seemed to have a magnetic pull on him, bringing him back time and time again. It was really uncanny.  _

_ The villagers still regarded him with wary hospitality. It was known they welcomed everyone into their clan - they would never turn anyone away unless you had committed a terrible crime - but they were still cautious and rightfully so.  _

_ Asim was relaxing in his hut, tired after healing a witch of malignant cancer, it having already spread from her breast to her lung and liver. The more serious and life-threatening whatever he was healing was, the more energy it took out of him, often leaving him lethargic for hours or even days on end.  _

_ A cry rang out throughout the village, alerting everyone. It was the cry of a child, no more than 5 or 6 from the shrillness of the cry, Asim assumed. An older person, woman he believed, was weeping as well, crying out in a language Asim didn't quite understand. He could gather the word please repeated over and over, but the rest was lost on him. He sprang from his bed, bones cracking in protest as a wave of exhaustion hit him. Still, he pushed forward, brisking making his way to the cries. A woman stood on the edge of the huts, running towards the center with a wailing child in her arms. The child was covered in blood almost from head to toe, soaking what little clothing she had on. A man stopped her, inquiring what was wrong before hurriedly pointing to him. Asim raised an eyebrow at the man, rushing the man, child, and woman into his hut. If the man spoke her language, he would need an interpreter, and he didn't have to time to spare. "What wrong?" he attempted to ask her, but at the lost look on her face gestured to the man to help him. "She says she found the boy bleeding out. He was fog and then he wasn't and he was covered in blood?" the man ended with a question, as confused by the words as Asim was. Whatever the case, it was important the child stopped bleeding. Gingerly taking the small, crying boy from her arms, Asim laid him out on his own bed, blood instantly soaking through the sheets. He cupped the boy's head, mumbling a relaxation spell to stop his from enter shock. He then assessed the boy, searching every inch of the boy to find him covered in wide gushing lashes across his chest and back as well as his thighs. Beginning with the worst, he began healing, a soft white-yellow glow admitting from his hands as he worked.  _

_ It had taken nearly an hour to seal every cut on the boy and encourage his blood cells to replenish faster than normal. Asim was weary at the end of it, nearly doubling over himself by the time he was done. The man had lead the woman away some time again, assumedly to comfort her in his tent. Falling to a seat beside the boy, Asim immediately passed out.  _

_ *** _

_ He woke hours later, the sun having set and risen again before he woke. Glancing to his side he saw the boy still peacefully asleep and he slowly stood, leaning over to watch him closely. His breathing was slightly off, and Asim ran a thumb across his forehead in a soothing spell. The boy's eyes flew open, quickly locating and staring at Asim in terror. He began thrashing uncontrollably, fighting the blanket covering him in an attempt to get away. Asim stepped back, hands held out in a sign of peace. Wisps of smokes rolled off of the boys shoulders, captivating Asim. He had never seen anything like it before, but as the boy's panic rose, as did the fog surrounding him. A part of the fog lashed out, striking Asim across the shoulder, skin splitting open at criss-crossing intervals. Wincing, he shrunk back, cowering down to give the boy a feeling of power, hopefully calming him down. He held his shoulder as blood flowed through his fingers. Tracing out a healing spell, Asim eased his own pain, clotting some of the blood.  _

_ With Asim bleeding and cowering in the corner, the boy slowly calmed down, sensing no nearby threat. As the fog retreated into the boy, slash marks similar to Asim's appeared across the boy's shoulders and forearms where the fog had escaped his skin. From across the room, Asim attempted to heal the damage his could see. He also sent a calming spell in his direction, hoping to sedate him enough he wouldn't panic again.  _

_ Asim had just stood, making his way over to the boy, when a thunderous noise appeared outside. He ran to the boy, who he saw was beginning to panic once more, and quickly knocked him out. Yelling ran from outside, the villagers attempting to protect themselves from whatever the new threat was. Unsure of whether to run out and help the other or not, Asim hesitated over the boy. He cautiously stepped toward the opening in his hut, peering around as best he could. A cloud of dirt bellowed around three figures, each standing tall, an unmovable force in the chaos. They marched forward, something wrapped around themselves deflecting the spells hurled at them by the villagers. Asim watched wide-eyed, startled as they began stalking toward him. He ran back to the boy, levitating him into the corner and hiding the boy with his own body. He placed a simple disillusionment spell over himself, hoping to hide them both. "Asim Funsani (Fawn-san-ee), give us the child."  _

*****

"They took the boy?" Newt inquired, staring at Asim. They had walked to Newt living area and sat down while Asim told Newt his encounter with Mal'ak. Newt had located a small notebook, jotting down notes and questions he had, Asim watching him with amusement twinkling in his eyes. 

"They did. They said they were sworn to protect his kind and would help him in ways I was unable. The woman who brought the boy had just found him on the side of the trail; had no idea who he was." Asim sat back, relaxing in the chair, sipping the tea Newt had offered him with little interest. 

"And where did they take him? Where did they come from?" Newt asked enthusiastically, leaning forward as he did. Asim leaned forward as well, staring down in the eye, holding his gaze until Newt glanced away. 

"They did not stay to speak with me, but one said they would take them back to their clan to teach them their ways, though I did not know what that means. She said she would give him a better life than I could provide, which I was sure. Something was wrong with him, and they were going to heal him." Newt wrote down a few notes, adding more questions which he did not figure Asim could answer. But this meant their had been another obsurical recently, and that Y/N kind protected them somehow. This could mean that there could be many more obscurials throughout the years, only they had been hidden by the angels. What did they do with the obserials though? Could they help Credence? Newt was so wrapped up in his actions he didn't even notice Asim, who had leaned even closer until they were only inches apart. Glancing up, Newt was startled to find the other man so suddenly so close, wide eyes staring into Asim's. Bringing his hand up, Asim closed the distance, bringing his lips to Newt's, kissing him slowly and gently. 

Newt was frozen, holding his breath, unsure of what was happening. He raced over his actions in his mind, trying to find if he had lead the other man on in any way. Not that he objected to being kissed by a man, gender wasn't really a factor for him, and Asim was very, very handsome, but he loved Y/N. Hadn't he said he was in a relationship with her? Thoughts raced through his head at an extraordinary speed, but they came to a crashing halt as Asim moved closing, resting the hand not cupping Newt's face on Newt's upper thigh. With a shout he brought himself back to reality, realizing he was, in fact, being he kissed and he was doing nothing to stop it. 

Newt jumps backward, tipping his chair back and nearly falling over in his attempts to back away. He fell over the arm of the chair, dashing behind the chair and holding the backing, needing to place something between himself and Asim. "Wha- what are you doing...?!" He was near panting, out of breath in his shock. 

Asim raised an eyebrow, "I thought it was clear? I... I'm sorry, I thought you were... attracted to me?" Asim sat back, eyes flickering up and down Newt, suddenly making him more exposed than ever. 

"No! No, no, no, no. I am not attracted to you. Not, not to be rude, no. You're-you're a very attractive man, of course, I'm sure you know, but- I don't like you, I don't not like you obviously, I like you, just not in that way. Not that there's anything wrong with you, I just-just as friends; I like you as a friend that is. I mean- I already have someone, the girl, Y/N. I love her," Newt rambled on, blush forming high in his cheeks as he stared to his right. He wouldn't- he absolutely couldn't meet Asim's eyes. 

Asim raised a hand, dropping his head down, "Stop, no, I understand. It my fault, I apologize. Please, please no tell the others. They don't think highly of... that. The elders may remove me from the village." He tone was almost desperate and Newt understood completely. The wizarding world was much more forward thinking than the muggles from what Newt gathered, but many still had backwards thinking - mostly the elders, but few adults as well. Newt's father was never very approving, of really anything, but he hadn't the slightest care in who Newt was romantically interested in, something Newt was overly grateful for, but Lena's parents had been very conservative and the few times he saw them never went well. of course, throughout his travels he was able to meet a multiple of people as well, straight and other-wise, and come in contact with a large variety of cultures, both accepting and disgusted. Newt understood Asim's fear and thought to how he would feel if others had exposed him in less-than-welcoming environments. 

"No, of course not. I would never. Not everyone is open-minded, a pitiful but true fact, and I would never intentionally put anyone in danger." Asim was relieved for a moment before an awkward air fell over the men. Neither could think of anything to say, both somewhat embarrassed over what had happened and where more or less at a loss for words. Newt searched for a new topic, hoping to relieve the situation, while at the same time wanting nothing more than to escape the room and hide-away within the safety of another part of his case. 

Finally, after a long, tense moment, Asim spoke up. "Ah, may I try to help the girl?" Newt smiled, giving a small sigh of relief before he quickly nodded. 

*****

Asim stood over Y/N, studing her closing. Kneeling to her level he gently tilted her head to the side, searching the back of her neck for a moment. He trailed his middle finger down the dip there, pressing in slightly. Brows furrowed he moved to her wrist, checking her pulse, Newt assumed. He stood in the corner, pretending to write while he studied Asim's actions, hoping to learn as much as possible from the man. He was still slightly flustered from the earlier incident, but he managed to compose himself, the only tell of his nervousness being the increased ink smudges on the pages. 

Asim next moved his hand to her chest, placing two fingers just above her heart and stilling for a minute. Newt had never seen as examination such as this was and was as intrigued as he was cautious. The man could do anything to Y/N while Newt knew nothing of it. 

"It it certainly a spell keeping her entranced. Her illness isn't of the natural world." He spoke to both himself and Newt, barely acknowledging Newt's presence in the room. Asim stepped back suddenly, startling Newt a bit as it fully looked up to watch the man. Pulling at the bottom of his right sleeve, he pulled his shirt off of his shoulder, exposing even more runes etched into his skin. Glancing through his eyelashes at Newt, he smirked, causing his face to heat once more. One hand was pressed to the black sigual right on his shoulder while the other reached out, tracing the symbol onto Y/N forehead. The jet black rune began glowing a bright orange-red, his fingers on the opposite hand glowing as well. Newt became entranced once more, staring slightly open-mouthed at Asim. The man's eyes slid closed, face easing into a black trance. He simply stood, minutes passing by as Asim stayed frozen. Every so often his lips twitched in unheard words, barely moving and completely silent. After five minutes, Newt because worried, standing and moving closer to the two. Neither reacted to his movement, both as still as before. It wasn't until nearly fifteen minutes passed that Asim finally returned, much to Newt's relief as he was nearing a panic attack. Which a sharp intake of breath, Asim's eyes flew open, searching around the room. He seemed surprised to find Newt suddenly standing so close, stepping back and breaking his connection with Y/N. 

"What did you do to her?!" Newt demanded, staring Asim down threateningly. He already had his wand out, holding it to Asim with a spell on the tip of his tongue. Asim raised his hands in surrender, stepping back as he watched Newt carefully. 

"Now, Newt, calm down. I not hurt her, I swear. It was a mind spell I use. I looked inside her mind to see if she was brain-dead and if she had memory of what was used on her. I didn't harm her, only observed. Check her yourself, if like." Asim cross his arms and Newt leaned over Y/N, using his wand to monitor all her vitals and check for anything else he could think of. She was in the exact condition as before, but Newt still held a distrustful air regarding Asim. He wasn't fond of the idea of someone searching Y/N brain while she was unconscious. 

"See?" Asim ventured, tilting his head forward. "I only wanted to help, and I have to know what wrong, before I can fix her, correct?" Newt reluctantly nodded, putting his wand away. There was logic there, but that didn't mean Newt had to agree or like it. 

"What did you see? Can you help her?" He was eager to heal Y/N, desperately wanted to watch her open her eyes once more. Sure, she was with him now, nearby in the physical sense, but he couldn't talk to her, couldn't watch her respond even if it wasn't with words. He ached to see her care for his creatures again, wanted to watch her clam the creatures in a way he was never able to master. She had a  way with them that even he didn't possess, a strange idea in its own. 

Asim signed heavily, staring at the ground as he sank into the chair Newt had beside Y/N bed that he would often use. "You told me she was ill, not that she had been tortured. This... I'm surprised she alive." Newt's blood ran cold, his worst fear coming to life. He didn't really know what she had gone through this last time. The first time her captive told them everything he had done to her, her confounding in Queenie to fill in the gaps in his story, but this time... Newt wasn't entirely sure of what Grindelwald was capable of; what he could-would-did do to her. 

Flicking his wand, Newt called another chair to him, suddenly feeling light-headed. Sitting he gulped, turning to Asim. "Wha- what did he do to her?" he squeaked out, ten times paler than normal. 

Asim shook his head once more, staring into the space above Newt's shoulder and Newt actually attempted to meet his eyes. "She... she's been through more than any person should. I-I've never seen such things, in all my travel. He tried to break her brain- he almost made it." Tears welled in Newt's eyes, threatening to run down his face and he gazed back at Y/N. He knew a person could only take so much before they simply gave up, unable to continue to fight anymore. He'd been there emotionally at times and he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy, much less Y/N. Was it too late? Had she already given up? Was that why she hadn't awoke, because her spirit was already gone? 

Newt shuddered at the thought, shaking his head. He propped his elbows on his knees, chin on his knuckles, as he looked to Asim for more information, silently pleading to whatever higher being there may be for her to be all right- for her to come back to him. Asim was shook up, that was very obvious to even Newt who was typically socially unaware. If he saw what happened to Y/N, as Newt had gathered, there was no question why. 

Composing himself slightly, Asim attempted to continue. "She's still alive, still somewhat sane from what I could gather. But barely, I believe. She seems... trapped within herself, I not sure. It is hard to explain..." Asim frowned to himself, seeming hesitant. "I think a toxic remover would do her better, but I am not sure if her body can handle it... It takes a lot, which she already been through and not need more." Newt cringed, dropped his head and studying his hands. He couldn't make this kind of decision for her, he wouldn't. What if he tried to save her and ended up killing her in the process? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to her. 

"What if we wait? I can stay longer and work with my hippogriffs here while she gets stronger and you can detox her once you think she's strong enough. Would that work?" Newt questioned, twisting his hands nervously. Asim bit his lip, pondering the idea. Seemingly something began to click and Asim begin nodding his head, now deep in thought.

"It may work," Asim admitted, finally looking back to Newt, who straightened himself to meet his gaze. "I will stop by to monitor her often, if you don't mind. I can brew a healing potion to hopefully speed up the process, which you'll have to give her twice a day. I'll also give you a herb to burn, Echinacea." 

Newt cut in suddenly, "Would adding Astragalus to the brew help? I have a few batches of it growing. My creatures tend to prefer natural healing methods rather than magical, so I try to keep my shed well stocked." Asim smiled at Newt, nodding almost excitedly. 

"Yes, yes. I do not have on hand, but if I use yours I will add it in. A wonderful idea." There was a pause as Asim considered his next words carefully. "If you creatures like natural cures, I can teach you a few things?" Newt paused. This was what he had been hoping for when he first heard of Asim, but after everything today, he was more unsure of himself. He began to say no when Asim hurriedly added, "Only professionally. Nothing else." Newt agreed to that, relieved that there was no misunderstandings between the two. "I will go home now and get started. See myself out and leave you two alone. Bring me herb tomorrow morning, please. Good night." Newt nodded, bidding him a good night as well. Asim left and Newt sighed, looking around the room. His eyes once again fell on Y/N, lying peacefully in the bed, unmoving. The thought of her waking up renewed the life in him, breaking his semi-foul mood he'd carried since her capture. She would get stronger and then Asim would heal her and they could return to New York or London. He could find more about her kind and maybe locate a tribe, introducing her to her own species. He could focus more of his time on Credence, rehabilitating him as best as he could. Y/N may decide to leave and join a clan of her own, but Newt doubted Credence would leave anytime soon, even if he was well. Of course, Newt wouldn't hold Credence back either, if the boy wanted to leave, he could, but he was also welcome for as long as he wished. It would hurt, to see either one of them go, but Newt was much better off knowing they were alive and healthy even if they didn't stay with him. It seemed to always hurt, Newt thought. Life in general is simply pain. 

Shaking his head Newt stood, moving to Y/N's side once more. He gently fixed her hair, a few unruly strands having fell in her face when Asim tilted her head. "Please come back. I need you. I love you." By the last word Newt's voice cracked, eyes wetting as he hurried to wipe away unshed tears. Clearing his throat he left her room, going to tend to the animals for the day. 

 

 

#  *** Y/N's POV ***

Darkness surrounded you, but Newt's words pierced through, shining light within. _ "Please come back. I need you. I love you." _ They ran over and over in your head, fueling your inner strength. At the same time, Grindelwald's words held you back. His degrading words wrapping themselves around your mind, attempting to blockout Newt's kind ones. Struggling to move, you pulled your head up. You were surrounded by nothingness, seeming to stretch on for miles, and yet pressing down on you at the same time. "help," you call out weakly, lips barely able to move. "help, please, I need help..." Your head falls back, stretching your neck uncomfortably, but you lack the strength to hold it up right. "can anybody hear me?" you whisper, quiet and feeble sounding. Your face grows wet suddenly, tears quietly running down your checks. "please." You once more attempt to pull your head up, but you're unable to hold it there, chin crashing into your chest. You take the opportunity to look over your own body, gasping in surprise. You're unclothed, something you're unfortunately used to, but you are also completely unable. There are no cuts, no scars, no bruises. No reminders of your past. Rationally you know you should be relieved, but instead it's as if a part of you is missing. Straining your eyes to the side, you attempt to look over your shoulder, but you fail to see any feathers. Even with your wings tucked behind your back, you would have been able to see the edge of feathers framing your body, but there are none. You close your eyes, steading your mind and feeling out to find the familiar muscles of your wings. Almost as if your wings are an arm, you are able to feel each muscle and twitch, even if you are unable to move them, but you find no feeling behind yourself where your wings  _ should  _ have been. You strained to move them, but were unable to find seemingly anything attached. Even at your wings most vulnerable and cut away, you had been able to feel them, able to move them if only a little bit. Panic sweeps over you, power suddenly sugaring in your veins. You struggle to move your arms, straining them against invisible bonds. You couldn’t see any restraints, but it was as if you were tied to a pole. You tried to twist around, but you were unable to see anything, anything at all. You drop back down, deflated for a moment. Hair falls in your face and you twist your head to move it away. When your head lifts up you are met with the unwelcomed sight of Grindelwald. He smiles at you menacing and you attempt to flinch back, but you are unable to due to whatever is restraining you. 

 

“Hello, pet. All in here by your lonesome? Would you like some company little one?” Your breath catches in your throat although you feel ready to vomit at the same time. Stepping forward he reaches out, pushing the strand of hair hanging in your face behind your ear. His thumb trails down your face afterward, stroking your chin softly, as if you were made of glass and could break at any moment. As a cobra poised to strike he suddenly lashes out, rearing his hand back and bringing it down on your cheek. Your head is forced sharply to the side, but his hand returns, grabbing your chin and forcing you to face him. “I asked you a question. You will answer me when I speak to you.” His words were calm but they held a furry behind them that was impossible to imagine. 

“No.” It was the most resistance you could muster, the most you could do to not obey him. You knew it was better than not answering at all, but there would be a punishment. Sickly, you welcomed the punishment, wanting the pain to wash over you. Maybe this time it would even drown you, pulling you under the current and suffocating you one last time. It was the only thing you could hope for anymore, the one thing you were certain you weren’t afraid of. 

Frown lines formed on his forehead, but Grindelwald showed no other reaction to your words. Instead of the punishment you knew you would be facing soon, he stepped back, studying you carefully. His eyes lingered up and down your body and you wish more than anything to be able to cover yourself, but you still were unable to move, left exposed to him. Although, you thought bitterly, you doubted clothes would have any effect. 

“No scars? I thought you knew you’d never be able to escape them…” He was talking to himself, something he did often when he was in deep thought. He began moving, slowly circling around you, a leisurely pace that drove you insane as you knew it was only postponing the inevitable. “It is rather ironic you are still bond, though.” He turned to face you once more, looking down at you with impossible power. “You can’t even find safety in your mind, can you, little one?”

His tone was remorseful, although his words had little meaning to you. You knew he was fond of mind games and wondered if this was one of them, but it was so terribly hard to decipher what was real and what wasn’t anymore. He cleared his throat, obviously expecting an answer, but you weren’t even sure what the question was. Instead, you decide to answer him with a question of your own, “Where are we?” 

It was bold, a boldness you hadn’t grown accustomed to, but something in this place gave you a strangely comforting sensation, one that allowed your personality to grow. “You’ve lost all your manners,” Grindelwald remarks crossly, pursing his lips. “And I assumed you would know. We’re in your head, of course. This is all in your head.” Reaching up he tapped a finger to your forehead to emphasize the statement, not that it made any more sense to you than his previous question had. He could see the question on your face, so he stepped back and beat you to speaking. “This, all of this…” he flew his arms open, gesturing to the darkness surrounding you both, “This is all in your mind, in your imagination. Though I have to say it lacks quite a bit.” It’s clear you're still confused, not quite gasping whatever he was trying to tell you, so he elaborates even more. “You never were one for complex concepts, were you?” he mutters with disdain. “Nevertheless, it was something I made, quite a large piece of work might I add. Combining potions and spellwork I was able to piece together  Legilimens blood and the Full Body Bind curse to create this. Your body is dormant: you are unable to move, speak, or even sense things around you, but you also unable to age or be harmed by outside affects. You essence, your consciousness, it trapped within your own mind, unable to communicate with the outside world, completely isolated until the end of time.” He smiled wickedly now, taking a darker turn, “You’ll never see Newt again, never speak to him, and he’ll never see you awake again. Currently he had you in his case, that I’m sure of, but he’s tortured by being so close to his love,” he leans in, nose almost touching yours as you struggle to backup, unable to do so, “But he’s so far away.” 

Tears prick at your eyes as you blink furiously to hold them back. Grindelwald steps, his devilish laugh filling your ears. “And,” he began thorugh laughing fits, “You’ll only have me as company. You’ll never escape me now, and you’ll never see Newt again!” Rage bubbles over you, ratidation in waves. If this was your mind, you had control, right? He said this place was your imagination, so you could change it if you pleased, right? Closing your eyes, you pictured the bonds holding your arms and legs slipping away, you imagined your great wings behind you, growing to their full size as you stood straighter, now on solid ground. Full of fury you leaped at Grindelwald, crying out as you did so and your sudden actions took him by surprise. You had little knowledge of what magic you possessed, so you attacked with pure strength, hands reach for his neck and squeezing as hard as you could. He continued laughing, allowing you to feel as if you actually had power over him for a moment before he flicked his hand at you, throwing you backwards through the air. Your back hit an invisible wall behind you harashly, a crack ringing in the air as you felt your right wing dislocating. You winced in pain, swallowing a cry of pain. Looking through your eyelashes you saw Grindelwald straightening himself up, squaring his shoulders before stalking towards you menacingly. A black fog suddenly appeared behind him, winding around his feet. He stopped, looking down in confusion as it slowly swirled around his body, making its way up his chest. It twisted and circled him in a perfect spiral until it covered him entirely and you were unable to see even his face. It suddenly twisted sharply, falling inward and attack Grindelwald with all of its force. You heard him scream for a moment before the fog collapsed, cutting off Grindelwald's scream as it fell to the ground. It stayed together as it hoved just above the ground, a silent non-threatening mass of mist. You weren’t sure what it did to Grindelwald but you knew it was powerful. You could feel the strength is was emitting, but you had no idea what could be  _ that _ powerful. It was even more powerful than Grindelwald. 

“Wha-what di-did you do to him?” you asked quietly as you slowly stood, wincing slightly as your wing pressed agai nst the wall you still had to your back. The mist b egan to rise, taking the shape of a man. In your fear the invisible wall behind you disappeared, and you scramble backwards. Terror rips your breath away as the semi-body steps toward you. The…  _ thing… _ begins to solidify, forming more clearly into a young man. 

"Please, please don't hurt me..." Your wings snapped forward to cover yourself. Your wings were strider and stronger than skin, so covering yourself with the feathery appendages was a natural self-defense mechanism. Cowering as far back as you dared to go, you watched as features slowly came into sight for you. You could make out black dress pants, too short for the wearer as they stopped just above his bare ankles. A worn black coat fell off of his shoulders revealing a threadbare white shirt underneath. You could tell his clothes had many days of use as holes were threatening to rip in many places. Looking over his clothes you are suddenly reminded of your own lack thereof. Closing your eyes briefly you imagine yourself wearing the simply cotton dress Newt had first found you in. You hated seeing the dress and you honestly wished you could burn it, but it was the only clothing you had besides what Queenie had given you and all of her dresses were too much. Most were flashy or elegant in some way or another and you didn't want to dress better than this stranger. 

His face took the longest time to materialize. His jaw appeared first, a strong line cutting across the space above his neck. His lips formed next, a large cut in the center drew his attention and you unconsciously but your own. Ears and a nose surfaced, and soon eyebrows, but his eyes were left a black haze. The eyebrows were quirked, drawn together in the center in worry. His hair took the shape of a bowl-cut, which was oddly comforting. It was a terrible haircut, too short in the back and uneven on the sides. You thought to your own hair, your real hair that is. You had honestly never gave it much thought before now, but was your haircut straight? Hair was a weak spot to you, something others could grab onto and use to control you. But was it? Was it straight? Boss had cut your hair before, gingerly taking the same knife he used on your skin to slice into your hair. With the lack of care he always used, you doubted he would take the time to make your hair look good. Snapping out of your thoughts to watched the man closer, he raised his hands, holding them in front of himself decisively as if you were going to hurt him. A laugh nearly escaped you at the deranged thought, but you were sombered by him stepping closer. You curled into yourself as tight as you could mange, hiding most of yourself with your wings. He knelt some to meet your height, lips moving in a whisper. "I-i wo-won't. Wa-won't hurt you." Each word sounded strained, as if he wasn’t used to speaking to others or it hurt him to talk. He sounded like you did the first few times you tried to speak to the animals. The area surrounding his eyes began to clear, swirling and taking form. Dark brown slowly overtook the black and you could see the fear in his eyes. He was terrified. You had absolutely no idea why, but he was scared out of his mind, that you could easily see. You peeked over your wings, wide eyes watching his every move. 

“What are you?” You stare at him as you whisper, watching his reaction. He doesn’t look at you; he actually reminds you of Newt the way he seems to shy away, keeping his eyes trained to the ground. Newt didn’t necessarily stare at the ground all the time, but he did have problems making eye contact and would often look at the wall or spot just past the person’s shoulder. 

He flinched away from the question, dropping from a kneel to his knees. He bowed his head, cowering in on himself. You could feel the pain radiating from him as well as the power. “Mother says I’m a monster, but Newt said I was an Obscurial.” Your head shot up at the sound of his name. You startled him with the speed you moved, feathers flapping around you as you sat up leaned forward. He, on the other hand, jumped back, black wisps forming on the edges of himself in fear. 

“Newt? Newt Scamander?” He nodded slowly, eyebrows still knotted together. “The man with all the animals?” There was another nod and a ghost of a smile on his face. A small smile grew on your own too, encouraging him. You watched him peer at you through his eyelashes, though he quickly glanced away when he was caught. 

“Are you the girl he brought down the other day?” At your confused look, he continued, quiet words barely heard in even the silence of your own mind. Honestly, if this really was your imagination, you weren’t even sure if he was real. You had no proof you hadn’t made him up. “Newt... he made me leave because he was afraid I would hurt you. I wouldn't... I would never hurt you, please believe me. I do.... I don't want to hurt anyone. I promise." He winced and you could tell he was forcing himself to hold back, stop himself from rambling on. But you could also feel the pain radiating from him; he was torturing himself with his past, a sensation that was all too familiar for you. Looking at a spot near his left knee, he began again, "I haven't seen you, he's kept you locked away in a room I can't get into, but I never tried because I never want to hurt you... He says we left America to make you better, says that you're sick. There's a man coming today to help you, and I have to stay out of the way, so I don't scare him either..." 

You couldn't make that up, plain and simple. There was too much there, too much that just had to be real. If Newt had you, then you were safe, something you had to believe. And even if you were sick, he was going to make you better, something you knew to be true. It had to be, or else you would go insane. 

You leaned forward, more on your knees than on your feet as you crawled to him slightly. It wasn't much of a step, but it was a sign of trust, something you both knew. You also withdrew your wings some, folding them against your sides rather than covering yourself. His eyes caught the action and he looked up, mesmerized. His hand twiched, starting to them, but pulled back. You inched forward once more, extending one wing slowly to him. "You- you can touch them if you like." His eyes, beautiful, emotional eyes, snapped up to meet your own, showcasing the fear held in them. He was afraid he would hurt you, afraid he was a monster as others had said. You gave him a small smile in encouragement, stretching your wing farther. "You won't hurt me, I promise. I don't even think you can  hurt me here." He reached out cautiously, fingers gingerly brushing the feather closest to him. It was sticking out at an angel, and by reflex he smoothed it out. He had found a bird once, feathers bent and crooked where it had been injured. He had taken the bird in, smoothing out and fixing its feathers similar to what he did now. However, neither of you expected the sparks that flew from his touch, blue-white lightening coursing through your wing and his hand simultaneously. 


	21. Encaged

***Y/N Pov***  
Y/N jumped back, startled, while Credence flinched away, curling in himself and as far away from her as possible. You could feel the blood suddenly rushing through your veins, power surging inside yourself. The underneath of your feathers took on a blue tinge, the light casting an unearthly effect. You were emersizered in the sight of your own wings, amazed as even you had never seen anything like it. They had never glowed, never even shimmered unless they caught light when wet. You ran a finger down the feather closest to you, watching the light radiate even brighter in that area and the shear power in your wing pushed back against you. Your eyes suddenly snapped back up to Credence, eyes narrowing slightly as you studied him.   
He was cowered within himself, back bent over his stomach in a futile attempt to make himself as small as possible. Black wipes formed around him, the fog from before falling off his shoulders. They danced near his head, strands stretching out to you. They seemed to have a mind of their own and you leaned forward unconsciously, willing the stands to come closer. At the same time however, Credence jumped into a stand, jerking himself upright as he backed away from you. Your trace-like state broken, you stood to follow him in corner. Didn’t he see the stands wanted to be close to you? Didn’t he realize they needed to be? He was muttering ficiously under his breath, though you couldn’t make out the words even in a strain. “Credence-” How did you know his name? When had you learned it? You couldn’t recall him ever telling you, but the word sprang out of you mouth as if it was second nature to you. “Credence, calm down. What’s wrong?” He began pacing, his entire body shaking as his head twitched from side to side in some semblance of a no. You reached out, almost touching his shoulder, and one of the black wisps that called to you so, when he jumped back again, escaping your grasp.   
“no, no, no, no, No! You can’t! Don’t!” You weren’t sure what he was trying to stop you from doing, you reached out once more, black wisps calling to you. He spun to you as your fingers connected with his shoulder and the smoke, his eyes enveloped in white. The entire world erupted in black, even deeper than the emptiness surrounding you. 

***Newt Pov***  
Newt’s leg bounced up and down nervously as he awaited Asim. After giving him Astragalus yesterday afternoon, Asim had made plans to meet Newt in his hut the next morning. Newt sat now, notepad in hand and case at his feet, at the simple clay table in his hut. He couldn’t pinpoint quite why he was so nervous, just that he was.   
Waiting as the minutes ticked by, Newt gave an exasperated sigh, jumping up. He couldn’t stand just sitting here waiting anymore; he had to do something. He scrawled out a quick note to Asim, instructing him to just come down into the case when he arrived, Newt hurring to the safety of his case. He always felt better surrounded by his creatures than people, or even the lack of them. By himself, he felt lonely, isolated from everything, and it never failed to put him in a fouler mood than normal. When among his creatures, he felt cared for; even although he couldn’t communicate, Newt felt they knew him better than everyone else, perhaps even better than himself.   
Frank immediately greeted him at the door of his case, screeching at him. “Frank, Frank, calm down, what’s wrong?” Newt attempted to soothe him, reaching out to smooth down his feathers, but Frank jumped back, leaping into the air. Lightning flashed around him, crashing down and rain poured from the sky. For Frank to go into such a panic, something had to be incredibly wrong. Without a second thought Newt ran to Y/N’s room, appalled to find Credence’s obsurail surrounding the small room. “Credence!” Newt yelled, wand readied to protect himself and Y/N against the boy if necessary. He would hate to do it, but he assumed he could simply stun Credence, not seriously hurting him.   
Newt watched carefully, but Credence showed no sign of responding, no sign of even hearing Newt. Newt began panicking, torn between not wanting to hurt Credence and protecting Y/n. Was there even a way to remove him without hurting him? Various spells flew through Newt’s mind as he searched for a containment spell that wouldn’t hurt Credence. He could always use near the same spell he had charmed the room with to make it impenetrable, but Newt had no way of knowing whether the energy or force of the spell would cause Credence harm; Credence was already in a weaken state, there was no way Newt could harm him more, with or without the intent to. If he killed Credence… But if Credence killed Y/N?   
Newt’s scattered idea left him as a voice called out to him. “Newt?” Asim asked, walking around the enclosure and into the Newt’s view. He took in Newt panic stricken state, running to him. “Newt! What wrong? You okay?” Asim eyes raked over Newt’s body, an action that would normally cause a blush to rise but Newt barely noticed.   
“Y/N… Credence, he’s like the boy you saw. He wrapped himself around Y/N’s room and I can’t tell if she’s hurt or not…” Newt’s eyes roamed back over the door, scarily visible through the thick black fog. Fear and worry rose in his throat, ceasing any other words he had thought to speak. What could he do? What could he do?  
A sharp crack rung out, startling Newt. Asim hissed, sucking air in through his teeth as he attempted to control the pain, unwilling to show his distress. Newt, however, couldn’t believe his eyes. Asim, in trying to remove Credence from the doorframe, reached through him, attempting to physically remove the fog. Rivers off red carved their way into Asim’s hands and forearms, slicing deeper with each second that passed. Newt’s heart clenched as he watched Asim's face pale, breaths’ becoming ragged. It took a moment for Newt to process what Asim was attempting to do and as soon as he grasped what he was doing, Newt attempted to pull him away, not wanting him to risk Asim’s own health. What was he thinking?! Why would he put himself in harm’s way just to help a person he’s never even spoke to?! Suddenly the fog around the room began to glow blue, burning bright light, something Newt had never seen before. The fog became more aggressive suddenly, whipping around the room violently and tendrils left the body to snake around Asim, twisting up his arms and carving into him once more. Another strand of the fog reached out, smacking Newt’s hand where he had been reaching towards Asim, quickly retreating. “Credence!” Newt called out, scolding him. A thin line of blood slowly formed across his forearm, the precision of the cut reminding Newt of a blade’s work. Even though the cut was shallow, it stung furiously, causing even Newt who was a close friend of pain’s to flinch back and gasp. How Asim was still standing with the amount of lacerations decorating him; how the sheer amount of agony he had to be put through did not cause him to fall on spot was a mystery to Newt. It fact, the pain seemed more second-nature to Asim than anything, his facial features only giving away a shred of discomfort, something Newt found more than a little concerning. Another piece of Credence lashed out suddenly, striking Asim across the chest, causing him to yell out and fall to one knee. 

*** Y/N Pov ***  
The rich black fog surrounded you both, encapturing you in what was seemingly your own little world. The fog being so close to your back made you incredibly uneasy, forcing you to step forward, intimately closer to Credence. The man was shaking, hands clutched to the side of his head as every fiber of his being seemed to rattle. He was once more hunched over himself, knees bent and shoulders pushed forward to make himself appear much smaller than normal. His head was bowed as well, as if a prayer. You wanted to reach out to him, comfort him in same Newt had comforted you once, but you were unsure of how to approach him. The smallest touch seemed to frighten him, but it also seemed to be the only thing he responded to.   
“Cree?” you asked softly, leaning forward. His body snapped, legs collapsing out from under him and arms falling away from his head. His knees hit the ground with a terrible thump, arm winding around himself. Without thought you imminently sank to your knees as well, sitting back on your ankles. “Cree,” you repeated, hoping to bring him back to you. Within mere moments you had formed a connection with this man who you knew nothing of. However, there seemed to be something tieing you to him, an invisible string that compelled you to help him in any way you could. You were connected to him, somehow.   
Eyes flashed up to meet yours, white slowly leaking to reveal large brown orbs staring up at you through fallen hair. “D-Did I ha-hurt ya-you?” he slowly stuttered out, terror hidden deep within his eyes. It was a look you were familiar with, a look you often wore. You knew this man had been hurt before, just like you.   
“No, no you didn’t,” you murmured, keeping your voice soft and light, hoping to calm him down. You slowly reached out a hand, setting on his shoulder as proof. He tensed when you moved toward him, obviously anticipating a hit, and stared in disbelief and the hand simply resting on his shoulder. He wasn’t used to being touched in a way that didn’t hurt, and you weren’t either, but the feeling was euphoric. After a moment of doubt he leaned into the touch you slide your hand up from his shoulder to cup his face, which he quickly and unconsciously nuzzled into. You shifted closer, pulling him to you at the same time so you wrapped him in your arms, his hand holding onto your forearm as he leaned against your chest slightly. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, but it felt amazing. The fog surrounding you both slowly dissipated, falling away from you. Words weren’t needed, neither of you needed to explain ourselves or tell your stories, you just existed, together. A tale may come later, Credence may explain who and what he was, and you would in return, but both were content to let it all go for the time being. Not forgetting their past, nor ceasing the worry of their future, but not caring for the moment, not letting the thoughts control them. Time didn’t seem to move at all, frozen into the perfect picture, simply two broken people holding onto to one another and never wanting to let go.   
******  
Because of your close proximity to one another, you felt when Credence suddenly flinched, pain crossing his face. A thumb swiping across his face helped to smooth it away, but it didn’t cease the action from repeating itself. You could see no enemy in sight, so you had no idea of what could harm him, but it was clear he was under attack of sorts. Your face of worry implied the question you didn’t want to ask, afraid of the response. “Newt… Newt wa-wants me to le-leave,” Credence answers, face twitching with concealed pain. “H-he does-doesn’t want me n-near you.” Rage and worry both consumed you. How could Newt hurt him, hurt Cree? Why would he want to take the man from you?   
“Please, please don’t go. Please don’t leave me; he’ll come back; he’ll hurt me. I can’t stop him, I’m not strong.” It became a mantra as fear overtook you. If Credence left you, you would be alone, you would go crazy. Determination blanketed Credence’s features, stature becoming rigid even though he continued to wince. Fog reappeared and rolled off his shoulders, sparking blue near where you touched him. The look of pain on his face, no matter how he tried to hide it, hurt you even more. You hated to see him like this, hated to see the small mark of fear in his eyes. Without thinking you reached out, hand coming to rest comfortably at the nape of his neck. He leaned back into the touch, blue lightning fog surrounding him as he did. You were feeding energy to him, although you had no idea how you managed to do it. All you knew was you were helping him, and that’s all that did matter to you. You could suddenly feel what he felt, you what you assumed he felt. A dull throb resonated through your stomach as if you were being punched repeatedly, in the same spot. A hard hit came, to your left side this time, and you nearly doubled over as you cried out. Credence whimpered in response, forehead pressing against the side of your face and hand latching onto your forearm. The contact only made the blue light burn brighter, but you knew you couldn’t keep this up forever. Hits were wearing on both of you, and you swooned under the loss of energy. “Cree, please promise to come back. I don’t know how, but please come back to me…”   
Large sad eyes slowly looked back into your own, Credence’s lip sucked into his mouth as he slowly nodded. “I-I’ll come back. I sw-swear.” You closed your eyes as he left you, simply disappearing into thin air. You didn’t want to face the darkness alone, afraid you’d be forgotten and left forever. You lie on the floor, surrounded and suffocated by nothingness, both pressing in on you and extending out infantantly.   
It wasn’t fair! You liked Cree; you had felt an odd, instant connection with him that you felt you’d never be able to replace. He fought for you, he fought to stay with you. Why did everything have to be taken from you? Newt’s face surfaced in your mind monetarily, but you almost flinched from it, reliving the mind games Grindelwald had played on you. A game of his, as twisted as he himself is, would be dream manipulation. He would put on Newt’s face and act as though you were rescued, or that you had never left at all. It always ended with Newt- Grindelwald, you tried to remind yourself- hurting you, worse and worse every time. Now, instead of remembering the sweet and kind man who had first broken down the door of both your cell but also your mind, you were haunted by images of him leaning over you and he took a blade to your wings and stomach. What’s worse, you could feel it, feel the knife cutting into the sensitive flesh of your wings, feel the tight grasp of his hand as he removed feather after feather, leaving you a plucked chicken. No longer did a shy and soft kiss surface your mind when you thought of Newt, but the murderous grin and deserving eyes that lingered over your body. And now, being left alone nowhere, your mind seemed content to obsess over him, not Grindelwald, but the Newt look-alike. The man you loved face plastered over every haunting memory. And that’s what hurt the worst. 

*** Newt’s POV ***  
All of Credence seemed to converge right in front of the door before suddenly exploding forward. The force rickached, throwing both men away. Newt landed in a grass spot not too far, but Asim has been thrown into an entirely different biome. Newt watched, amazed, as the mass that was Credence suddenly collected together, solidifying human once more. With wide and panicked eyes, Credence looked around, quickly taking in the scene before narrowing his eyes on Asim. White gazed over brown eyes as anger overtook Credence and his features. Black had already begun leaking off of him again as he stormed toward the semi-conscious man crumpled on the floor. “Credence! Stop! Please!” Newt called out, struggling to stand as his hand flew to his wand. Newt was once again stuck in a struggle, not wanting to hurt Credence, but not wanting to see Asim hurt either. Thinking back to all his dangerous encounters with creatures, he cursed himself for not learning more about his own sepies. How could he calm down an enraged person? Although he had experience with anger in others, it was usually pointed at him or something he had done and it was usually well deserved. He wasn’t even quite sure why Credence was angry, nor how he should approach the boy. Last time, hurt had been the underlying cause of his anger and Newt could address that, but he was now at a loss.   
Newt’s call had attracted Credence attention, but he drew himself short at the sight of Newt’s wand, obviously weary of the object that had caused him pain in the past. Newt could easily sense Credence’s apprehension and dropped his wand without a second thought. If he couldn’t approach Credence as a person, could he approach the boy as a creature? Act as he would to calm down an angry animal? First would be to remove any troublesome items, in this case his wand, so Newt nudged it farther away from him with his foot. Second: make yourself as non-threatening as possible and show you mean no harm. Kneeling seemed ridiculous in this situation, so Newt only leaned forward, bending at the knees and setting his shoulders forward just enough to make himself shorter than Credence. Thirdly he would offer help of some kind, usually food, to show his intentions, but he had nothing to offer the boy. Except, of course, words, the one thing he floundered the most with. “Credence?” Newt began softly, not wanting to upset the boy with harsh words or tones. “Credence, you’re safe. He’s not going to hurt you, no one is.” Although Credence faced Newt, he stared over his shoulder, glaring at Asim who remained frozen on the ground.   
“He already hurt me. You already hurt me.” Credence head snapped back to Newt, staring him down hard enough to make Newt shudder. “I was trying to help and you hurt me!” His voice rose with every word and his began to shake, fists clenched at his sides. Newt winced back from the words, not from fear but from self-loathing that he had hurt the already near broken boy.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was scared, you understand that, right? I thought you were hurting Y/N and I was scared. I didn’t know what you were doing; can you tell me what you were doing?” Newt knew he sounded terrible, making excuses and speaking to Credence like a child, but he couldn’t think of what to say. What was there to say? Newt looked down, eyes scanning the ground and they quickly move to Asim. He’s clearly breathing, the rise and fall of his chest a comforting sight, but the rest of him is frozen still. His face was tilted toward Newt ever so slightly, twisted back in an ungodly uncomfortable position, but it allowed Newt to see the ever so slight movement of Asim’s eyes. They slowly peeked open, dazzling green meeting Newt’s own. They quickly glanced around before falling closed once more and Newt watched as Asim repeated the action every other moment, taking in the scene in the least conspicuous way he could think of. Looking back so as not to expose Asim’s actions and return Credence’s anger on him, Newt took him Credence, watching the quite telling signs as the boy began to loose control. Whatever power Credence had gained to return to a physical form was quickly diminishing with his rage. If Newt could just calm the enraged boy down, Credence may be able to hold onto the form long enough to tell what he was doing and how Newt could best help him.   
“Credence,” Newt whispers softly, curving into himself slightly and making himself even smaller. “Please Credence, you’re scaring me.” With his voice soft and timid, the effect he had on Credence was immediately. The younger boy pulled short, seeming to fight himself. He wanted badly to go after Newt more, to yell and scream and release his pent up anger, but the words took him back, back to a time when he had spoken the same to a woman who felt no love for him, fear as thick in his voice then as it was in Newt’s now.   
But it didn’t help. The anger and energy had already built up, past the point where Credence would have been able to reign it in, been able to contain it. The obsurical ripped itself out of him, shredding his physical form apart as the fog gathered. The power, the beast, took over, unleashing itself within the case. Momentarily caught off guard, Newt winced back, an arm thrown over his face to protect himself as his wand was too far away to help. Newt braced himself, willing to take on the full force of the Obscurial if it meant weakening it enough to save the creatures, and Asim, from its wrath. And yet, a force never struck him.   
Glancing over his arm, Newt looked in amazement at the perfect, clear bubble that now surrounded the Obscurial. The fog beat against the glass in various areas, but it was unable to escape, unable to break through the containment spell. A disbelieving smile bloomed across Newt’s face as he searched for Asim. Still sprawled on the ground, though he was now propped up on one arm, Asim’s casting hand was thrown out in the direction of Credence and a similar smile meet Newt’s. Newt forced the Obscurial to the back of his mind, rushing to Asim’s side to take stock of the man’s injuries. Thick slashed covered and crossed his arms, forming a pattern similar to that of netting. Blood still seeped through, but most seemed to be trying to heal themselves, clotting and scabbing before Newt’s eyes. Near exhaustion, Asim laid on his back, heavily breathing as his eyes lost some focus. Knelt beside him, Newt leaned over the man, reaching one hand behind Asim’s head to prop him up. “Asim? Can you hear me? I need you to fucus, tell me what to do to help you.” Newt was scared, afraid of losing Asim just as afraid as he was of losing Y/N. He had to help, needed to help. It’s all he knew how to do. Shrugging off his jacket, Newt stuffed in under Asim’s head and scrambled for his wand. Although his skin was knitting itself together, the work was very slow and Asim was still bleeding out, quickly at that. Newt summoned gauze strips and a healing ointment, quickly spreading and wrapping the visible wounds, praying they wouldn’t scar. He would hate the be the cause of one’s scars, even indirectly. Scars had always been a source of shame for him, and he didn’t want Asim to feel the same.   
His eyes had slipped closed, but face still scrunched with pain. “Rest…” he murmured, head lolling to one side. “I need to sleep it off. ‘Ll heal myself.” His words were soft and mumbling, Newt having to lean forward to hear. Without a second thought, Newt moved him onto the cot in the tool shed, the only bed he had left. Laying the softest blanket he had, one he typically used for motherless babies, Newt watched and Asim instantly fell asleep, drifting off as he shifted gently to one side.   
A thousand thoughts struck Newt at once, questions such as how long he would sleep, should Newt make him food for whenever he woke, what was he supposed to do right now? Newt knew he was being creepy at the moment, the way he was leaning over the sleeping man, leering at him in his sleep. He cursed himself internally and he spun around, searching the wall of his shed to find something to busy himself with. A mooncalf, one he had fondly taken to calling Mel, brushed against his side, nudging his hip. Mel’s wide eyes looked up at him as she took a step back and begun prancing around him in circles. When Newt had first found her, the webbing on her foot and been cut as well as her leg broke, so she had much difficulty moving. It had taken quite some time to rehabilitate her to walk at all, much less prance, which she taught herself upon seeing the way it made Newt smile. To see the little creature so happy and moving around and to know that he did that, knowing that if he hadn’t helped she may have died, it never failed to brighten his mood.   
Grabbing snacks and food, Newt left the tent, moving slowly around his case, feeding and spending time with each and every one of his creatures. It had been far too long that he had nearly neglected them, and it was bliss to give them his full attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a really hard chapter for me to write, and I don't know why. Sorry it's taken so long.   
> Good news! I'm been accepted into college and I'll start attending next fall! I am very excited, and I'm going to use this as motivation for me to finish this story before I start school.


	22. Release

*** Newt POV ***  
A soft, deep chuckle jerked Newt from his thoughts, startling him well enough to drop the continator of food he had held. Chopped meat flew everyone, the small, bird-like creatures scrambling to snatch up piece after piece. Wand at the ready, Newt whipped around, prepared to fight off the inturdered, pulling short only when he recognized Asim leaning against a tree a few feet away. “Merlin! I could have hurt you!” Newt exclaimed, quickly fumbling to put his wand away and hide the embarrassment rising in him.   
“Apologizes. Had not meant to startle you. Woke up to find him across me and wondered if you miss him?” His arms were held to his chest gingerly supporting the dozing Niffler snuggled against him. The small creature was on his back, eyes blissfully closed, with one paw outstretched to hold onto the collar of Asim’s shirt, though why, Newt had no idea.   
“Do you happen to have something shiny on you, perhaps?” Newt inquired, stepping forward to relieve Asim of the pesky thing. “He has quite the liking for anything that glitters and he’s quick to steal it, little thief.” As Newt picked him up, the Niffler’s eyes slowly blinking open, lazily looking over Newt before falling back asleep. Tutting to himself, Newt returned the Niffle to his nest, a small cave like hole carved into one of the trees that contained all the thing’s precious shiny things.   
“Do I have shinies?” Asim retorted, raising an eyebrow at Newt, flushing him with embarrassment. Although the creature had been taken from his arms, Newt saw he still had one arm cradled to his chest, the bandages on it soaked through with red.   
“Does those need to be changed?” Newt inquired, quickly changing the subject, so as not to embarass himself further. “You’ve been asleep quite a while, and I would have changed them while you slept, but I hadn’t wanted to disturb you…” He trailed off, unsure of what to say next. This was probably what he hated most about human interaction, the speaking. With animals, and even with Y/N as she was silent, there wasn’t the requirement of conversation. It was so much work to keep up a conversation; you had to do so many things at once. You had to pay attention to what they said, you had to have whatever you wanted to say prepared, you shouldn’t stumble over words, you shouldn’t get too excited, you should make sure they knew you were listening, you should make sure they were interested in you, you should make sure you weren’t rambling, you should- It was far too much for Newt, and it was one of the reasons he preferred the company of his creatures to other humans. One of the many, many, many reasons.   
“No, they be fine. Nearly healed already. Rest did lots of good. How are you?”   
“I’m… well,” Newt wasn’t sure what to say, wasn’t sure how to act. A small Filliup (Feel-up) brushed its head against Newt’s hand, seeking attention. After dropping all the food pellets the bird-like creatures had gotten their fill, but this one needed more physical affection than the others. Having been left as a chick by its mother, its’ elder siblings watched over him until Newt had found the litter. Without a thought, Newt scooped Freddy, the little Filliup’s name, up and into his arms. Holding the fledgling gingerly with one arm, Newt entertained him with the fingers of his other, allowing Freddy to teethe and suck on his fingertips. His actions were mindless, having gone through the motions parenting and nurturing his creatures many times before, he didn’t have to use thought while he worked, leaving him to strew in his anxiety ridden thoughts of his own incompetence in speech.   
Asim, however, watched him, amazed. “You work so well with them. As if they your child. You have children? You would be great father.”   
“I’d be a better mother,” Newt scoffs, smiling down at Freddy. “Fathers are supposed to be grand and imposing and powerful, and I’m… not. I’d be a much better mother, the nurturing one. I haven’t any children; don’t quite see any in my future either. These, everyone here are my children, in a way. They don’t have anyone else, but they have me, and I do my best.”  
“You are very smart man, but you are stupid. It isn’t power that makes father, it strength, care, and love. Any man can be powerful, but not father. It takes different breed for a father. You are differentest breed I ever seen.” Asim shifted himself up holding back a grimace as he did and though his steps were still graceful, they were pained. “I love to talk to you, but I help village make dinner.” He left Newt with his words, nearly to the shed, before pausing. “You have chance to be dad all your life, I can’t have children.”   
Guilt crushed Newt as Asim walked away. How could he talk about his own incompetence as a father, when Asim never had the chance to be one? But, why not? Why couldn't he have children? He may not be able to have a child with shared DNA, but why wouldn’t he adopt? What was stopping him? As he had said, all of the creatures here were his children in a way, and he certainly didn’t have them. Really, there were plenty of children all across the world who needed a caretaker, Newt had certainly seen plenty. In his research expeditions across the world, he had run across countless starving, homeless, and needy children. He did his best, giving them needed supplies and whatever extra he had, but he knew it would never be enough. It seemed there was never enough in the world, but he hoped he made a difference, no matter how small.   
Why couldn’t Asim adopt a child; if he wanted to be a father so bad, what stopped him from taking in one? Of course, it had always been too bothersome to concern himself with others problems. He had enough problem conversing with others, it was too much to try to understand and reason with them.   
A sharp nip brought his attention back to Freddy, laying in his arms. He reached over, grabbing the sling he had fashioned for the creatures who needed to be held close. Slipping Freddy into the sling, he gathered the dropped bucket and what was left of the food to carry back to his shed.   
And just like that, he fell quickly into the rhythm of work. It was relaxing, in a way, and perfect to clear his mind. But he couldn’t escape entirely, he never could. Passing through his case, the Oburical took to lingering after him. Yet it was no longer comforting as it had once been; It seemed threatening now, as if Credence were stalking him. A black smudge lingering over his shoulder with every move he made. What could he do for the boy? How could he help him? Even if he miraculously found a way to solidify him, he didn’t have a doubt that the boy would go for his throat. However, if he didn’t do everything in his power help Credence, he would be even worse. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself, with his actions. And what could he do for Y/N? Every day passed and she was just laying there, all because of him. Because he couldn’t save her, couldn’t stop Grindelwald. He couldn’t even imagine all she had gone through, because of how weak he was.   
Self-hatred burned to anger as Newt once again caught glimpse of Credence over his shoulder. Why did it have to be his fault? Why did everything have to fall upon his shoulders? All he does it help, that's all he knows how to do, and it never works. He can never get it right, no matter how hard he tries, so why does he even try? Why should he try when all he does is fail, over and over and over again. It all useless. Every bloody bit of it.   
Anger overcome him as he threw down the bucket in his hands. “You know what?” he cried, turning around to face the black fog that lingered behind him. “Go after her. Do it! Go! I can’t help you, I can’t! I don’t even know what the hell you want from me! So please, after everything I’ve tried to do, go! Go do whatever it is you were doing to her, please, by all means. Don’t let me stop you!” With his free hand, Newt reached around and grabbed his wand, casting away the protective spell Asim had put around him.   
For a moment, the Obscurial seemed frozen, almost in shock. Gathering back up his buckets, Newt didn’t spare Credence a second glance as he turned and strided away, anger rolling off of him. Stowing away the items in his hands, he searched his cabinets, pulling out a chunk of raw, chilled meat. Newt himself wasn’t much of a meat-eater per se, more worried for the animals they had once been, but he understood that many of his creatures were carnivores naturally and therefore needed the meat in order to stay healthy. Although some creatures accepted blended meat, where he added in supplements such as fruits and vegetables to make his pellets, the wilder and less tame creatures refused them. Creatures such as Frank and Nundu had needs, and Newt understood and pushed himself to meet them, regardless of whether or not Newt liked them. However the freshness of the raw meat had always been a problem he faced. Long ago he had been unable to keep and store raw meat easily, forcing him to stay within markets and sources for the meat, something that hindered his ability to go out and trek in the wild for weeks at a time, unless he wanted to ‘harvest’ the meat himself, thought he had never been able to force himself to. Once he had tried, catching a rabbit and attempting use it for food, but he had quickly backed down, instead soothing the creature and feeding him herbs before releasing him once more. Now, after studying freezing spells, he had charmed one of his cabinets to stay -6° and carefully used a suspension spell over each slab of meat. As he pulled a piece out now, he quickly thawed it, careful not to overheat it. He summoned a clever, releasing his anger into his work.   
*****Y/N POV*****  
It was dark all around you, the harsh emptiness seemingly embed in your skin. There was nothing around, even less than nothing. You were completely isolated, that alone terrified you, and you had long ago given up on the notion of someone finding you, unless of course it was him. You had tried over and over to call out to someone, anyone, Credence, Newt, Queenie, at this point you wouldn’t even object to contacting Tina, Graves, or one of the creatures. But so far, all of your calls were unanswered. You were at a loss of what to do, you didn’t even know where you were, much less what you could do to get out. Grindelwald had said you were trapped in your own mind, but wouldn’t mind hold something more than just darkness? And why would he tell the truth, wouldn’t he simply lie to control you easier?   
You had found a wall of sorts, or at least a surface you could sit against. You couldn’t actually tell what it was, to you it looked no different than the rest of the room, but it was solid enough to rest your shoulder on, and that was all that mattered. Your hair hung loosely in your face, clean and washed, but still lifeless. Pressing your check to the wall, you allowed your eyes to fall closed once more. The silence, the darkness, the isolation, it was driving you insane, that much you could tell. There was no way for you to survive much longer like this, no way for you to carry on, for what? What was the point? Newt? Was he supposed to be your purpose, your reason for living? He had existed in his life without you thus far, was it not selfish to think he needed you now, after such a short amount of time? You had lived before him too, but solely due to the fact you weren’t allowed to die. If you had, you would have welcomed death long ago, greeted him as joyfully as one would a friend, because to you, he was your release from the world. Too long, life had held you and toyed with you as it liked, but death would be the end, the freedom from all of it.   
You obsessed over these thoughts, the idea of finally being free, even if in death, and they clouded you mind, taking over. What life did you have, even if you were living? Although you couldn’t tell where they came from, you knew they were made so much worse by your isolation. Soon, it was all too easy for the words to fall from your lips, too easy to murmur your darkest thought of all, “I want to die.”   
A rational part of yourself told you it was all in your head, that it would be better once you found a way out, but you couldn’t help laughing at that. A bitter, corrupt laugh, full of the harshness that had greeted you every step of your existence. To you, there was no end in sight, no happiness, no light. You had been proven, time and time again, there was no happiness in this world with your name on it. Every time you found a shred of bearableness, or contentness, it was always ripped from you. You knew you were undeserving of simple pleasures, you have done nothing with your life to make you deserve happiness, so why should you be granted it?   
A crack of electricity in the air, snapped you out of your own thoughts, forcing you back into reality, or at least your reality. Credence stood before you once more, shaking. His eyes held unshed tears, though he hid his face from you in an attempt to hide his weakness. You stood, grently reaching up and wiping away the tear before it could fall, the same energy pulsating around the two of you the second you touched. “Cree?” Your voice is barely a whisper, but deafening in the silence surrounding you. “What happened?”   
“I-I ma-made Newt ma-mad. He-he hates me…” You were near even in height with him, and used the hand cupped around his cheek to pull him down slightly, leading him to the wall you had previously been leaned up against.   
“Credence, he doesn't hate you. I don’t think Newt could hate anyone, I’m sure he’s just frustrated.” It wasn’t quite a lie; the only time you’d seen Newt get really angry was when he spoke or heard of Grindelwald. With him fully leaned against the wall, you curled around him, gently reaching out and landing a hand on his shoulder. Black fog and blue sparks took to the area around both of you, but it no longer seemed threatening; instead it acted as a blanket of comfort, protecting both in your own world away from worlds. Although he tensed under your touch, he soon welcomed you closer to him, craving the physical affection he had been long denied. You were glad for the comfort of others, especially those who you knew held no ill mark for you. It was a grateful change from the years of abuse you had suffered at the hands of others.   
Credence’s attention was caught by the flurry of light swarming around you, captivating him. He has an almost smile gracing his face, a change you much appreciated. You spread your wings over him, smirking to yourself as more sparks flew; Credence imminently turned to watch, appearing as a child at Christmas. “I’m not… I’m not hurting you… right?” His question was timid, so soft you instinctively leaned forward to ensure you heard it at all.   
“No, of course not,” you whispered back, quiet as him. It was if a spell have fallen, both content to simply allow the silence to be. He shifted, moving to sit rather than crouch beside you, leaning towards you as he did. You curled up next to him, almost wrapping around him as you folded your legs to the side.   
“Ne-newt thinks I’m going to hu-hurt you,” he mumbled, studying his hands for a moment. They lay loosely in his lap, covered securely by leather gloves, which he looked over carefully. You shook your head furiously, confused at how Newt could ever think such a sweet boy would ever hurt you. All he did was make sparks fly, literally. Was Newt jealous? You knew you loved him and there was something comforting about the idea of Newt loving you enough to be jealous when you held another, but you couldn’t stand it was at the expense of another, especially one whose presence was as comforting as Credence’s.   
“Of course you’re not going to hurt me,” you reassured him, slowly sneaking an arm around his waist as you spoke. He flinched away, staring at you with wide eyes, unsure of whether or not he should actually relax. But he slowly and surely slid against you, stiff but welcoming. It was a blessing of you, to feel the reassuring touch of another. Although you hadn’t been quite there with Newt, during your time in the case you seemed to have always had a creature of some kind in your arms or pressed to your side, leaving you desperately longing the presence of another near you. Your thoughts of Newt led to the night you spent together, the closest you’ve ever realistically gotten to him. It had been so nice at the time, but now as you thought back to the moment, you only saw the nightmare Grindelwald had replaced. Images of Newt rolling over, using the same arms that held you closely to him to strangle you and beat you. As the flashes filtered through your head, and involuntary shuttered passed through you, causing Credence to look to you in concern. His nice, warm eyes held only contenness as he regarded you, and you hated to ruin it with your self-centeredness. You softly shook your head, and he gave you a nod of agreement and understanding before he curled ever so slightly closer, resting his head on your shoulder just so. You nuzzled closer, fitting your check perfectly against his head, allowing the bliss to wash over you and chase out all the horrid thoughts that typically plagued you. 

*****Newt’s POV*****  
The longer Newt worked on the meat, the longer he had to stew on his own and Credence’s actions, and the more he came to resent himself. Credence didn’t deserve his anger, no matter the circumstances. Truly, he deserved the most comfort of them all. How could he have done such a cruel thing to such a needy boy? A boy who had probably been yelled at and created nearly all of his short life, only for Newt, the one person who was supposed to help him, turn to do the same thing. It wasn’t fair, and it only hurt Credence more, no good coming out of the entire ordeal. What kind of person, what kind of friend is he to do such awful things. His anger vanishings, taken over by self-doubt and hatred, until he begins to question everything, every interaction he had ever had with Credence. Had he ever came off as a violent or aggressive person? The only time Newt’s really seen him lose control was the night in New York, but that was spurned after years of tornet, built up until it finally released. And really, Newt never truly blamed him for the events of that night; though he didn’t approve, he could clearly see how Credence’s reaction came to be, could almost, almost relate in a small way.   
But what did that mean for Credence? He’d never been hostile, even coexisting perfectly with all of Newt’s beasts, all smart intelligent creatures who knew when something was even a remote threat to this existence or not. What if Crendence’s intention hadn’t been to harm Y/N in any way, but instead to reach her? Could he have been trying to help her in some way, or alert him something was amiss? Thinking back, the mist hadn’t seemed quite threatening; in fact, it had spread out as more of a shield almost, wrapping itself around her room as if to protect her from some outside force. What if… what if Credence could help her in some way, reach out to her in a way he can’t. His magic isn’t only strong beyond belief, it’s also entirely different most most anything he’s ever seen before. Not many live past the age of ten, and while it’s a miracle in its own right, it also is a sign of the immense strength he posses. Shocked by his own revolation, Newt drops the clever, running to Y/N’s room.   
Credence has once again wrapped himself around it, stretching out his fog until it’s nearly see-through but covering every surface. Immediately, Newt can feel Credence tense up, the mist slowly gathering in on itself, thickening in the center of the door, facing Newt. “You didn’t want to hurt her, did you?” His voice is gentle and kind, hoping to give the boy a sense of security and calm him down, speaking to him as he would a wild, anxious, fearful creature. “I’m so sorry I didn’t understand. Do you think you can help her? Is that what you’re trying to do?” A wisp of the black cloud stretches out, signally a yes to Newt. Shame washes over him once more, but he pushes his feelings aside, not wanting to lose this moment. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you. You don’t deserve it. Can I open the door for you? You’ll have to move to the side, but if you do, I’ll let you in. I swear it.” The fog of the boy is still stretched taunt and stands unmoving for a moment, long enough that Newt begins to doubt if he will ever let up. But ever so gently Credence detaches himself from the door, slinking to over just over Newt’s head. It almost feels like a threat, a strong suggestion to follow through the promise, or else, and the meaning does not slip past Newt. Grasping his wand, he presses it to the keyhole, holding his breath while the door unlocks itself. For a second, both were frozen, but with a click the door opens, swinging open, and Credence wastes no time rushing in. Once in the room, he spreads his form out, overtaking the ceiling with the sheer mass he contains. In a flash, the entire force drops down, covering the entire room in the eerie, dark, translucent that is Credence. In an instant, Newt’s stomach drops, regretting his irreversible design.   
A blinding flash, a blue-white light disarming Newt, and a force that sent him falling backwards over himself. And a shrill girl’s scream pierces the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry I'm such literal trash. I planned to have this finished so long ago and it's not a good excuse, but I hit major writing block in all of my writings and I'm just starting to dig myself out of it, so I'm very sorry, but I hope I can write more and get more chapters published for you soon.


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